


The Office Satinalia Party

by TheQueensBlade



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: A LOT OF NSFW STUFF, AU, CULLEN CULLEN CULLEN, Cullen Smut, Cullenlingus, Cullensmut, Dragon Age AU, F/M, Love Triangle, Love rectangle, Modern Thedas, Office AU, Office Party, Office Sex, Satinalia, Secret Crush, Secret Relationship, alternative universe, modern dragon age au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-02-14 18:57:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 53,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13014063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueensBlade/pseuds/TheQueensBlade
Summary: Juliet Trevelyan, the straight-laced CEO of Inquisition Enterprises, always loved letting loose at her office's raucous Satinalia party after a long year of hard work.She'd never predict what would happen with Cullen Rutherford, her always professional chief executive of security, in the office's supply closet - and that their stolen moment of secret passion would change her life forever.





	1. Red Plastic Party Cups

**Author's Note:**

> WHY DO I KEEP STARTING CULLEN FICS? Gotta keep this fandom fire burning, y'all! 
> 
> This shouldn't be too long though, eight chapters planned and mapped out.

The office Satinalia party of Inquisition Enterprises was always a little out of control, and it gave its CEO a ping of delight. Juliet Trevelyan was no nonsense, plain spoken, staid and button-down, but this one night of the year, she dropped the boss act to carouse and swear and down shots with her loyal employees. The Inquisition handled all kinds of business - magical research, security (both the technological kind and the kind that required muscle) and legal services, and prided themselves on doing a great deal of non-profit aid work. Her company sided with the underdogs and the just; Juliet's lawyers worked on war crime cases, her tech officers made sure elections in disputed regions were fair and unhacked, and after all of her employees were fairly compensated, the company's profits funded units of healing mages who were sent to the war torn corners of the world. They employed ex-Templars who needed help getting back on their feet after years of lyrium use, they provided shelter to runaway teen mages who had been thrown out of their parents homes. Everyone in her employ was dedicated to making the Thedas a better place, but tonight was about the punch bowl in the center of the office. Dorian made sure it never ran low with a mere snap of his jaunty fingers, but others kept stopping by to add more booze to it, and it was getting strong and people were getting sloppy. Leliana, her head of tech surveillance, threw an arm around Juliet's shoulder and leaned on her heavily as they watched half the legal team pour into the party. Leliana rarely got like this, so Jules knew things were about to go sideways.

"We need more cups, Jules. Did you get more cups? Why'd you only buy, like 12 cups?", she slurred into Juliet's ear.  
"That was Sera's job, not mine. My only job tonight is to make sure you guys don't burn the building down."

"Oh come on, it was just that one time, and we had it under control," Sera retorted, ambling up to them to push her cup against theirs in a drunken toast. 

They watched as a man with a punch stain on his shirt dipped his empty coffee mug right into the bowl to get another helping. Josephine was the next one to join them as she tsk-tsked this display.

"Must we get like this every year? It's embarrassing and - a little uncouth."

Leliana rolled her eyes as she poured a bit of her drink into her friend's cup. "Spoken like a true PR and communications director. Why don't you go over there and flirt with Blackwall, pretend you're drunk and fall into his arms."

Josie flushed and it made the other three women laugh. "I do not flirt with him."

"He certainly flirts with you," Jules added before finishing what was in his cup. "I give you my blessing, Josie. The Inquisition has no official fraternization policy, as you can see - " Jules gestured to the party before them, where there was more than a few pairs of employees clearly flirting with each other and a few more who looked like they were trying to work their way to more private parts of the office. Juliet scanned the room until her eyes landed on Blackwall, who was stroking his beard and talking to a woman about something that made her nod in sympathy, over and over again. "Hmm, maybe he doesn't flirt with you, Josie. Maybe he just flirts with that curvy healer mage who just got divorced."

"She - what?!", Josie sputtered in disbelief, watching as the woman picked a bit of lint off of Blackwall's shirt sleeve. Leliana, Sera and Juliet all laughed as she took Leliana's cup from her, downed it, and headed across the room toward the pair. Sera gave Leliana an appreciative look. "You - always know how to manipulate people. It's - kinda cool, honestly." 

Leliana gave Sera a playful pout. "Is it? Will you go get me another cup then?"  
  
Sera nodded but then her nods turned into emphatic head shakes when two girls from accounting passed by, their arms hooked around each other's waists. She didn't even bother giving Leliana another sassy remark, she just followed the two right to the punch bowl, where Sera managed to slip between them and kiss each girl on the cheek. This left Leliana and Juliet on their own, and Leliana still cupless. While the two women watched the party, Leliana took Juliet's cup out of her hands and helped herself to a sip.

"Cullen looks handsome tonight, don't you think."

At the mere mention of his name, Juliet felt a ping of adrenaline and she had to make sure her tone was measured when she spoke. "I guess." Tonight her chief executive in charge of security was wearing a forest green v-neck sweater that just made his hair seem more golden and at the moment, he was listening to one of Dorian, head of the magical research division, going on about something. Dorian had clearly landed one of his trademark quips, and it made Cullen break into one of his crooked grins. Jules sighed, but then tried to make it sound like she had to cough.

"Go over there and see if he needs a refill, Jules. I've seen him glancing over here at you all night long."  
"You're making things up, as usual."

Leliana elbowed her. "Chicken. All right then, if you won't go and talk to him, then find me my own cup. I'll even take a little paper one from the water cooler."

"Here, you take mine for now. I think I saw a whole package of them in the supply closet the other day, left over from last year."

Juliet gave her her red plastic party cup and turned to head toward the far corner of the office. The last thing she heard before she left was Leliana calling out to her, with a slur in her voice: "I'll send someone to help you!"

* * * * *

The damn light inside the supply closet wouldn't turn on, it looked like the lightbulb had burned out and nobody had thought to replace it. Jules used her smartphone to look around at the shelves and made a note to herself to chastise someone about how disorganized everything was. Why did they ever need pink copier paper to begin with? Who had been playing with the label machine and had stuck the word 'BUTTS' onto a shelf containing Inquisition letterhead? Jules started to feel her buzz ebbing away when she finally saw the package of plastic cups on the highest shelf. Even if she used the small, rickety looking step stool she might not be able to get them down, but she wanted to try. She always felt sheepish in the grocery store when she had to flag down a tall employee to help her get the almond milk just out of her reach. But this was different, this was _her_ company, and _her_ raging Satinalia party, she wanted to be the one to emerge into the room with the cups that everyone needed. She unfolded the old step stool and took two gingerly steps onto the rickety thing. Her fingertips brushed against the package and for a while she just tried to pinch the plastic and scoot it closer to the edge where it would just fall onto the floor but it wasn't working - 

"Juliet, are you in here? Leliana said you could use a - "

Jules gasped when Cullen appeared in the doorway, sending a beam of light into the dark closet. The shock of his appearance made Jules lose her balance, one of her high heels got wedged into the metal lattice of the stool and then it was too late, she was definitely going to fall down inelegantly in front of a man she had been secretly lusting over since she hired him - she braced for her fall, hoping she didn't hit her head on the copier machine and bleed all over his brogues.

With a slight intake of breath, Jules landed in his arms instead, an arm around his neck. He smelled good, like pinon and mint, wild sage and cedar. Of course he would, everything about him was masculine and earthy, and the shoulders she was now leaning against were broad and strong. 

Cullen put her down on her feet in front of him with a light chuckle and she was very aware of how close they were standing to each other - the closest she had ever been to him. He towered over her and Jules couldn't help but stare a little at that scar at the corner of his lips.

"Are you all right?"  
"I'm fine, just a little - you startled me..."  
"I'm sorry, I only wanted to help. Do you need me to get those cups down for you?"

That voice, always so mesmerizing. There were times in the past when he had to call her after work hours or on the weekend to ask her something vital about Inquisition business and just the sound of his voice often made her need to sit down wherever she was so she could _focus_ on what he was saying. It was hard to concentrate around him. Like right now, what was he even talking about?

"Cups?"  
"For the party? I think Josie is afraid people are going to start picking up the punch bowl to drink right out of it... Juliet, are you sure you're fine, you look like you're going to faint? Or are you just tipsy?"

"I'm not tipsy."  
"Ah, I... I see. Y-you're just - "

She gawked at him a little more, her cheeks burning. In the intimate, awkward pause, she watched him fumble for something to do or say to fill the silence, and as though she had willed him to touch her, Cullen reached up to brush a bit of her hair off her cheek.  Without thinking, she tilted her head up at him so he was touching more of her face.

His expression changed from one of concern to something more enigmatic.

 _Oh fuck, maybe he doesn't like me, maybe I'm making a fool of_ myself.

Even in the dim light coming in from the door behind him, she could see his golden brown eyes studying her as she nuzzled her face against his broad palm. What was making her act like this? Was it the holiday spirit? Or was it just that here was her chance to be with him, even for a moment, in this dusty office supply closet? She had never been alone with him, not once. Everything between them was all work, all meetings and handshakes. If there were dinners, they were business dinners. Maybe she hugged him on his birthday last year, but it was because everyone else was hugging him, and she had simply been standing there. There was no way to know how he felt about her, but she had done all the things modern women do when they're a little obsessed with a man, she had combed his social media accounts, read his every status update, savored every selfie. Jules wanted him, for no real reason except that he was right under her nose, five days a week, looking the way he looked, with his courtly, gracious manners and ex-Templar's posture that made him different from every man she had ever met. 

Jules took a bold half-step closer to him.

_Come on, buddy. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me! Do it you stupid, gorgeous, ridiculous -_

Cullen leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, his hand still cupping her face. It was the merest contact but it made Jules's knees wobble beneath her. He pulled back too quickly, alarmed and worried.

"I'm sorry, Juliet, I shouldn't have - "

She cut him off, pulling him back down toward her, kissing  _him_ now, practically attacking his lips, one hand on the back of his neck creeping up into his hair, the other on his shoulder trying to keep him there, keep him from re-thinking what they were doing. He inhaled sharply, wove his arms around her, and kissed her back with a small groan that aroused her in an instant. Then his lips were up and down her neck, until they landed near her earlobe.

"Juliet -" The sound of his voice right against her ear made her shiver.  
"Lock the door," she commanded, using her best boardroom voice.

He let her go for a moment and spun around to push the door closed behind him and then lock it. They were enveloped in darkness again, save a bit of light filtering in from beneath the door. For a moment, they were silent and all they could hear was the sounds of the party in the other room. Jules felt panicked for a moment. Maybe he was thinking they shouldn't do this, she was his boss, maybe he had crossed a line and didn't want to ruin their working relationship.

Maybe he wasn't thinking about any of that at all.

She felt him grab her arm, a little roughly, as he guided her to stand in front of him again, her back against the copying machine. Cullen fully pressed himself against her and they were kissing once more, messy, hot, hungry kissing that made her hope that maybe all this time he had been lusting after her as well. He tasted like the whiskey he had been sipping all night long, the juvenile punch bowl hadn't interested him, and she was blown away by the way he kissed - sometimes soft, gentle, shy, exploratory, and then sometimes ravenous, like he was trying to devour her whole so that nobody could ever kiss her again. It made her shudder, but he wasn't touching her, he simply kept her wrapped in his arms and she wanted more, so much more than that.

"Cullen, touch me, you can touch me - "

He hummed an excited "OK!" against her lips before obeying her, and then his hands were everywhere, he untucked her blouse and cupped one of her breasts, reaching into her bra to knead her flesh, there was a hand on her ass squeezing her tight. She wanted all of it, she didn't care how fast they were moving for two people who had been nothing but professionally cordial with each other. She raised a knee so she could feel more of his hard erection in his pants, pressed against her thigh. Jules rubbed herself against it, wanton and drunk on desire for him. He moaned in response, right against her lips.

"I want you, Cullen."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Doesn't it look like I'm sure?"

Juliet let go of his shoulder and rubbed her palm against his cock, straining against his pants. He swallowed and she enjoyed the sight of him paused on the brink of his thirst for her. Something was holding him back. She wanted to destroy that last little inhibition.

She started unbuckling his belt.

Cullen gave up, his mouth landing on hers in a bruising kiss. She pushed his pants down far enough and reached into his briefs to grip and caress him. She hissed a little upon discovering that her hopes had come true, he had an appealing, thick cock, stiff and pulsing in her hand. 

"Fuck, Juliet, you - " His breath hitched as she pulled him out of his briefs and pumped him a few times.  
"What?"

He laughed, low and seductive. "Your hands are so soft. Everything, soft. As soft as I thought you'd be  -"

Jules felt high for a moment, he had just admitted he had thought about her, and in the very same manner she had thought about him. He unbuttoned her blouse as fast as he could and then he laughed again. 

"Yes. Front-clasping bra. My lucky night."

They giggled together for a moment until he freed her breasts to his gaze and he stared at her exposed skin. Another groan slipped out of his mouth before he dipped his head to draw one of her nipples into his mouth. She continued grinding against him, her skirt riding up farther and farther until he popped her nipple out of his mouth.

"You're not drunk, right? You, really, actually want me?"  
"Yes, Maker's taint, do you want me to fill out some forms or something? I know you love paperwork."

He shook his head at her. "No, no, no - no paperwork." She guided his head back down toward her other nipple, putting him back to work. He flicked his tongue against it, working it around, making her wetter and wetter, as his other hand began travelling south. She felt him push aside her panties, which were already wet, so he could rub two fingers against her clit.

"Please, Cullen, please..."

He dipped those two fingers into her. "Trevelyan, anyone who comes in here after us, is going to smell your sex in the air." He removed his hand from her quim and licked his own fingers. "Maker, you are so sweet, I just have to - "

Before she could react, he had dropped to his knees before her, yanking her panties down. He lifted one of her legs so she could slip out of them and then held her open, pushing one knee up. She leaned back against the copying machine, using it for balance as he parted her cunt with two fingers. For a moment, he did nothing, he just looked at her pussy, hot and ready for him.

"What do you want me to do? What do you need?" he asked, voice heavy with longing.

Jules could hardly believe the words tumbling out of her mouth, toward this man she barely knew, staring at her cunt. "Lick it. Lick all of it. Put your tongue in it. Eat it, Cullen." 

She saw his tongue reach out of his mouth just before it made sweet contact with her plump, swollen clit, and anyone walking past the closet would certainly be able to hear her loud groaning. He drew circles around her pearl, pushed it back and forth on the tip of his tongue, side to side, over and over again. Juliet had to hold on to the copier behind her as he sent rapturous pleasure all over her body. Juliet let her head dip back as she thought of the irony of it all, he was often a little awkward in meetings, he stuttered and stammered around her, but here he was, showing her how talented his mouth could be as he pushed his tongue deep within her and then sucked her clit between his lips. Cullen let go of her knee and she realized he was stroking himself while pleasing her. It was all too much, she wished they could slow down and enjoy themselves a bit but she needed more, and right away.

"Cullen, I want you inside me."

He looked up at her and licked his lips, still savoring the taste of her. "Are you sure?"  
"Yes, put _that_ \- inside me, please."

He stood up, determination all over his face. He pushed her up against the copier again and aimed himself right at her.

"I... Can't believe we're doing this."  
"I'm fine with it if you are!" she responded, holding on to his shoulders and trying not to sound so gleeful, but it was impossible.

This was probably the greatest night of her life.

Juliet kept her eyes locked on his as he lifted her up off her feet by the back of the knees and leaned her against the copier. She gripped his cock and guided it into her and in one, slow, perfect thrust he sunk into her to the hilt. It made her gasp, and a little "wow" slipped out of her mouth. He grinned at her, proud and predatory, as he began to move his hips. 

"Oh Maker, it has - been a while."  
"Well then, I better..."

He pushed his hips forward and it made Juliet's eyes roll back in her head and the copier behind her bump into the wall. Cullen leaned in to breathe in her scent and then thrusted again, swearing to himself a bit before he began to work up a proper rhythm. They didn't speak after that, it was impossible to, with their tongues weaving around each other. They panted and groaned together, Juliet combing her fingers through the waves of his hair. Her internal voice of anxiety told her to touch him as much as she could, she'd probably never get to do this again. He had called her skin so soft earlier, but he was also surprisingly soft in places. His earlobes were like velvet, his lips were plush except for that bit of scar tissue that she had nibbled at, his curls were downright silken. Would he want to be with her again? Was this it?

_Please don't let this be it, please, Andraste, let me have him again, and again, and again -_

Cullen was pounding into her now, making the machine behind them creak with his efforts and slam against the wall over and over again. She watched a bit of sweat rolling down the side of his face as he took a half step backward so she was leaning back even more and she had to wrap her legs around him to keep him tight inside of her. Now he was hitting that sweet spot deep inside her, slamming into her, filling the air with the sticky sound of her sex meeting his, using all the power in his body to rut her thoroughly. Juliet let go now, moaning a long stream of swears as her orgasm bloomed from inside her, squeezing him tight, and then opened her eyes just in time to see what his face looked like when he came. Maker, he was too sexy, she would never forget that curl of his lip, the way his eyes glowed down at her, and the gasp of utter satisfaction that turned into a helpless, long grunt he made as he emptied himself inside of her.

He pulled out of her slowly as he eased her back down onto her feet, and the spell of their stolen moment began to fade back into reality. He had fucked her so hard one of her shoes had come off, and as she slid her panties back on, she realized she had been so aroused her inner thighs were slick and wet. They said nothing as they pulled their clothes back into place and smoothed themselves down as best as they could.

"Juliet, you look - like someone just fucked you in the supply closet."  
  
She fussed with her hair but it only made him laugh again, which didn't matter, she liked the sound of his laughter. "There's not much you can do about it. Your lips are all pink and swollen, your cheeks are flushed."

She tucked her blouse back into her skirt and glanced at him, feeling too shy to look at him the way he was looking at her. "We should go back to the party separately, because, you know, um..."

A flicker of hurt appeared in his eyes but it was replaced quickly with his usual professional efficiency. "No, definitely, you're right. I wouldn't want anyone to think that..." He lost his train of thought and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm your boss. And..."

He stood closer to her, brushing a bit of her hair off her shoulders. "I wouldn't want anyone to be disrespectful toward you. Not tonight. Not ever."

Juliet wanted to throw herself into his arms after he said that but she was busy staying so still as he wrapped a lock of her hair around his finger. His voice grew husky again. "You know, sometimes in meetings, when you're going on and on about something - "

"I do not go 'on and on' - but go on."

He smiled for a moment and then continued. "I always notice your hair is so black that when the light hits it, you see - silver." His hand was now resting against the back of her neck and for a hopeful second, she wondered if they could pull off another round of supply closet love-making. 

"Well, now I know what you're really thinking when I'm going on and on about something."

He leaned down and she tilted her head up at the same time and the kiss was gentle, and unforgettable. 

"We should get back. I'll come out first, with the cups."

  
* * * * *

Jules waited exactly seven minutes before leaving the supply closet, and then circled down a back hallway to her office to touch up her makeup. She sat down at her desk for a moment and thought about what had just happened. Her office was in the northwest corner of the building, she had big windows behind her and windows that faced the executive wing of the building. All she had to do was turn her head to the left just a bit and she was looking at the windows of Cullen's office. Many times when she, Cullen, Leliana and Josie had to work late, she would look up and glance at him, his head bowed over his laptop, or some contracts, and the sight of his tireless dedication usually spurred her on. Jules rubbed her forehead, tears creeping into her eyes. How were they going to work together after what they had just done? Was he going to tell the other men in the office? Would everyone figure it out? She couldn't fire him, he was too good at his job, nor had she any cause to - nor did she want to.

A second wave of anxiety broke over her. 

She wasn't on any birth control. 

It had been four years since her last steady boyfriend, and casual hookups had never been appealing to her. She stood up and started dumping stuff into her purse and putting away her laptop. She swore when a few lights clicked on in the office outside and started to move faster. When she looked up again, it was Cassandra in her doorway, one of Cullen's most loyal employees.

"Juliet? People are looking for you, they want to do the toast now, while everyone is still standing."

"Oh, I, I have to go, I'm not feeling well, I should - "

Cass crossed her arms and her posture gaining even more authority somehow.

"You know you always give the toast. Just come out here and give it and then you can sneak away to do whatever it is you're doing."

"I wasn't going to sneak away - "  
"That's exactly what people say when they are caught sneaking. Come along. Just get it over with, I want to get home too. I'm reading quite a good book right now, and I'd like to get back to it."

Cass practically escorted her back to the party in the main part of the office and right into the middle of the party, by the still overflowing punch bowl. A few Inquisition employees brought her a chair and forced her to get up on it, and then someone put a plastic party cup back into her hand. She drank from it deeply and everyone applauded, beaming their holiday happiness at her. She cleared her throat and forced herself to speak.

"Thank you everyone. We have had a fabulous year. We helped so many people and there are many more to help in the coming year. So enjoy your holiday break. Only answer your phone if Leliana is calling - "

Juliet paused for the genial laughter and then looked up at the crowd around her. Cullen wasn't right before her, but a few people away - and due to his height, it felt like it was just the two of them, above everyone else. Right then, she knew everything had changed and there was certainly no going back. He was looking at her like he  _knew her_ \- gone was the professional detachment, the code of business behavior, she was not just his boss anymore but a woman he had kissed, caressed, licked and touched. And Juliet knew she was blushing, she could feel her cheeks heat up. 

"I - Um. So. Just. You know. Keep drinking and stuff. Call for a taxi, nobody drive home! I can tell none of you should drive home alone. That's it, I'm out of things to say. Happy Satinalia to you all, Maker bless you, and bless our efforts, our families - and our loved ones."

She couldn't help it, she looked at Cullen right as everyone raised their cups - but as soon as everyone had returned to the drinking at hand, she slipped out of the room before he could reach her side. She grabbed her things, pulled her coat on, and raced for the parking lot.

All the way to the drugstore, she willed herself not to cry. She didn't want to be that woman in the line at the pharmacy with puffy red eyes, buying the morning after pill on her own - but this is who she was. She grabbed a few other things she hoped would make her feel better tomorrow, candy, junk food, glittery nail polish that wasn't her style, and a plastic Satinalia wreath, and got in line thinking about what she had done. It was her fault, right? She had thrown herself at Cullen, who until tonight, had been nothing but a gentleman.

At least she didn't have to see him right away, she had at least a week to calm down about all of this. The line moved up a person and Jules came up with her mantra to deal with this situation:

It was just something that happened, that's all. 

She touched her own lips for a moment, still feeling him there.


	2. One on One

Juliet looked at herself in the mirror one last time before leaving the house. Another Monday, a new year. The only difference between this Monday and any other Monday was she had changed her outfit three times this morning. She never did things like this. She used to just get dressed, brush her hair, slip on a little lipstick and walk out the door. But today, nothing looked right, and she felt dreadful. Ten minutes ago she had sat down on the edge of her bed, covered in rejected skirts and dresses, and considered calling Leliana or Josie to tell them she was sick. 

Jules had spent the last week since the Satinalia party cursing herself. _Idiot idiot idiot_. Each time she'd catch a glimpse of herself in a shop window or in a mirror, Jules would castigate herself: _You fucking idiot_. _You've ruined everything_. The office had been a neutral zone for her, a place where she pushed herself to be an unfailing leader - and nothing else.  She had friendships with Dorian and Sera outside of the building but even then, when they were together they never spoke about work, and Juliet was careful to never tell Sera anything too embarrassing or too personal, because she was always a lightning rod of office gossip. What she and Cullen had done was unprecedented. Jules never dated coworkers, nor people who reported to her, and if she had to admit it - she didn't date much in general. "You're a boring old serial monogamist, and you're not even good at it," Dorian had once told her, at full volume in the middle of a crowded bar. He was right. She had had boyfriends, each relationship lasting no more than three years, and each time they had burned her. But even that wasn't a fair estimation. They hadn't scorned her, or wronged her - they had just lost interest. Jules was too career-oriented, but also too reserved. None of her boyfriends had liked that she'd come home troubled from a long day of work but then never wanted to share anything or talk about it. She was good at compartmentalizing, at boundaries, at borders. She liked these things. The boyfriends didn't. 

 _It was just something that happened, no big deal,_ she repeated to herself as she waited to turn left into downtown Haven.  _I'm sure he will be nothing but a gentleman._ Jules rested her head against the steering wheel for a moment. It was impossible not to remember how it felt to kiss Cullen after wanting to kiss him for so long, how she had thought about his hands on her body every time she took a shower - how she wanted him again, every time she woke up in the morning. 

The car behind her honked and Jules snapped back to life. She had an all-hands meeting with her entire staff this morning in which she would set the tenor for the year followed by a flurry of investment calls. She wouldn't have to speak to Cullen directly until a bit before lunchtime, when he was presenting her with a special project he had been working on, something about wind power in the Hinterlands. After that, more one on ones, more meetings, more phone calls, and then, home. Dinner. Feed the cat. Go to sleep. Easy. An easy Monday, right?

* * * * *

The all-hands-on-deck session was a fiasco, they had terrible IT difficulties that Cole was unable to handle on his own so Jules had to address the entire company without a microphone. The back half of the conference room grew bored when they couldn't hear her and started talking amongst themselves. She had to give up and promise to send the deck to all her employees, which irritated her because she knew most of them weren't going to look through it. Her phone calls didn't go well either, a lot of their investment firms were swamped with the backlog of work from over the holidays and a few of them were  _still_ on holiday. She was sitting in her office grinding her teeth and staring at her computer when Leliana stepped in and closed the door behind her.

"You are clearly not having a great first day back at the office."  
"No I am not. This morning has been a mess."

Leliana sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. "Don't go down to magical research for the rest of the day. Dorian was 'trying something new' and I guess it smells like egg salad sandwiches in the entire lab space now. Solas is holed up in his office and Vivienne used it as an excuse to go to lunch early and probably go shopping."

Jules leaned back in her chair and winced at the loud, squeaky sound it made. "She always has the best ideas. I should follow her lead more."

Leliana picked up a sharp letter opener on Jules' desk and toyed with it as she studied her boss. "Juliet, what's going on? You are not your usual self."

Jules looked down at herself as though the problem was with her clothes and not plainly on her face. "I'm - fine. What... I'm fine! Everything's fine! It's just, I hate it when all-hands meetings go wrong. I like inspiring people, not boring them, and everyone was bored this morning without my slides or the damn microphone working, and - "

"Juliet. You can tell me what's wrong. You know I wouldn't tell anyone in this office. I wouldn't tweet about it like Varric, or tell the first person I saw, like Sera."

"Oh, Sera would tweet about it too. She would retweet herself."

The two laughed for a moment but then Juliet realized Leliana wasn't going to leave her office until she told her something convincing in regards to her current anguish. This woman knew how to hack the most encrypted networks, she traversed the darkest parts of the web so they could track and disrupt the red lyrium trade, she could send her specially designed drones into Venatori encampments and find out exactly what those rebel mages had for breakfast. In other words, she was tenacious, intuitive, and yes - could probably keep a secret.

"Cullen and I had sex in the office supply closet during the Satinalia party last week." She blurted the words out as though she were in the principal's office and was in hurry to confess. To her surprise - Leliana looked surprised.

"...I'm sorry, what?"  
"Cullen. And. I. Had. Sex, in the supply closet. Standing up. With half our clothes on. During the Satinalia party. Then I gave that speech and -"  
"You ran off. I remember that you ran off, and you usually don't abandon our party that early. Wow, you and Cullen, hmm? I always knew you liked him, and I was always certain that he -"

Leliana was about to turn around and look toward Cullen's office over her shoulder but Juliet stopped her, "Please don't turn around and look right at him, he'll know what we're talking about." Juliet glanced at him regardless. He was peering at his laptop screen in a puzzled way that was completely endearing, but then as though he sensed her gaze, he looked right up at her and Juliet felt it, from the top of her head all the way to her toes. Juliet swallowed and returned her attention to Leliana.

"I admit I do feel better having told you. But you can't tell anyone, not a single person. I'm so embarrassed."

Leliana sat forward with indignation. " _Why?_ Was it bad?"  
  
"No, it was - really good. He's, um, really, really good. At like, everything."  
"Then what's the problem?"

Juliet thought about it. She thought about it long enough that Leliana was able to take out her phone and check a few emails.

"The problem is I don't do  _this_ sort of thing at work. This is work. I'm good at work. I'm great at work - "  
"You're the best."  
"I'm the best. I'm the CEO. I built this company. My father mocked me for wanting to create a profitable non-profit, for not putting the money in my pocket but in the pockets of people who help people."

Leliana pantomimed throwing her letter opener against the wall like it was a dagger. "You're losing your train of thought."

"I don't want to mess things up. I don't want to ruin what I've built here with cheap personal drama, and I don't want to do anything that will ruin our work rapport either."

Juliet fiddled with one of the rings on her right hand. "And, I don't want to start something with him that will fail like all my other relationships."

Leliana lit up. "So you _do_ want more than just a quick hard fuck in the supply closet?"  
"Leliana!"  
"Answer me."

Juliet glanced at him again. Now he was on the phone, smiling at something the other person was saying. 

“I don’t know what I want. Half of me wants everything to be normal and fine and the other half wants - something else.”

Leliana sighed and Juliet knew she was out of patience. "Juliet, you're an adult. He's an adult. I think you can figure something out. How would you treat him if he was a client who was asking for too much? You would establish and repeat the rules until they understood."

"That metaphor doesn't work. We have _contracts_ with clients."

A knock on her door startled both women and Leliana turned around in her chair to find Cullen standing in the doorway, his laptop and a roll of blueprints in hand, his usual look of steadfast efficiency on his face. Juliet held up a hand toward him, signaling to him they needed to finish their discussion.

"Help. Leliana. What do I do?"  
  
"If you want him again, _then have him again_. And then - improvise - from there."

Leliana stood up to leave, putting a hand on the door knob.

"Improvise? You know I am no good at -"

She turned around one last time. "Juliet, just have fun."

Leliana opened the door for Cullen, giving him a warm smile. " _She's all yours_." Juliet darted a "why'd you have to say that" look at her as she left but then switched to nervous professionalism once she was alone with Cullen.

"Hello."  
"Happy new year. H-how are you?"  
"I'm... Happy new year to you too."

A long, awkward pause washed over them until Cullen broke the stalemate. "We should talk."

Juliet eyed the interesting blueprints in his arms and chose to ignore the intimate tone in his voice. "Yes, I can't wait to see these new fancy _windmills_ of yours." She gestured to a small table and two chairs she had set up in her office for one on ones with her employees. Cullen cleared his throat and put his laptop down before spreading out the blueprints. Juliet only had one paperweight and a stapler to keep two edges of the prints from rolling back up, so the two stood side by side and held down the two corners closest to them.

"They're not 'windmills', this isn't 'the past', Juliet. These are high-tech turbines. However, unlike the huge behemoths you might see in a typical wind farm, these are smaller, easier to construct and parts and materials cost a lot less. These can be set up by local farmers - and they can be deconstructed and set up again in another area. These can power remote areas, bring villagers a more reliable source of electricity. So you know what I was thinking - "

Juliet looked at a white board she had hanging on the wall. One of their priorities for the year was to find ways to help refugees fleeing the Venatori conflicts. "Send them to the aid camps in the Western Approach and the Hissing Wastes."

"Definitely. But we can give them a test run in the Hinterlands. We always think of our work as something that happens afar, but there is abject poverty here at home, and not that far away from Haven. Those old logging communities in the mountains and hills in the Hinterlands saw their industry dry up when cheap lumber from the Anderfels undercut their prices. Mining is also out of the question as much of this region is under federal protection. Conservationism has its pitfalls. Although..."

Juliet wondered what he was going to add, he had stopped in his sentence to unroll a map of the Hinterlands over the blueprints. They had worked together for a long time but so many things about him were a mystery to her. "Although?""

"I do love the forest, and believe it should be protected. One day I'd like to have a little cabin out there. A real no wifi zone. Just wile away the hours reading by the fire."

Juliet had to stop herself from blurting out that she would love that too, and that out there in the middle of nowhere they could spend all day making love, and she would cook for him in the evening, and read at his side, and fall asleep in his arms, and - 

"Juliet?"

They made eye contact and Juliet's breath stuttered. If she had to be honest it had been a  _trial_ working with this man so closely. He was something out of a storybook, a fairytale, he was the dashing knight, the handsome prince. She knew other women in the office desired him, she had seen them all choose the printer closest to his office so they could walk by and dig up some phony reason to speak to him. They pounced on him in the hallways, they rushed to get into the elevator with him, they walked with him all the way to his car even if they were parked on the other side of the lot. And here he was, standing right next to her, gazing at her in what felt like controlled anticipation.

She looked through the windows of her office into the main work room. Half her staff were already at lunch, the others were dutifully bowed over their work. 

She made a decision.

Juliet let her hand sweep across the map to where his was resting, brushed her fingertips across his, and then left them there. "Do you think we could finish this discussion over lunch?"

He looked down at his hand, with hers on top of it now. He swallowed. "Lunch? You mean, down in the - "

"Not down in the cafeteria, no. I was thinking more like, the Four Seasons in downtown Haven."  
 "Lunch, at the Four Seasons, in downtown Haven, in their restaurant - " She could tell he was being cautious, not wanting to offend or overstep any boundaries, even though she was boldly marching across those boundaries right now.

"No. Upstairs. In a room."  
"This is what you want?"  
"Yes. I would like to have lunch, with you, alone, in a room, at the Four Seasons. In twenty minutes."

She watched his cheeks flush. "I would need to shuffle around some other - "

"If you're busy, I understand."

She withdrew her hand and turned to walk back to her desk, trying to hide the disappointment that must have been all over her face, but he boldly reached a hand out and grabbed her arm.

"I'll meet you there as soon as I can."

* * * * *

Juliet checked into a luxurious room on the 33rd floor and waited for him. She sat on the small love seat in the corner, near the windows, which she kept half drawn. Would he show up? She was practically trembling from want of him and she couldn't help but keep noticing how the bed was big, and so very promising. If he didn't show up, she couldn't be sure how she'd get over it. Going back to the men waiting for her in that app on her phone would be  beyond disappointing - those so-called entrepreneurs, the preening musicians, the ones who couldn't stop mentioning their ex-wives, the liars and the phonies. No, this is definitely what she wanted. She wanted  _him_.

Juliet heard the door unlock and then Cullen stepped into the room, a dapper trench coat over his business attire, laptop case in hand. She appreciated his small attempt to make this entire rendezvous still feel like it was work-related in case he bumped into someone in the lobby, she knew the way his careful mind worked. She stood up and watched him take his coat off and hang it up, and then leave his computer on the desk nearby. 

At first, they said nothing to each other.

Cullen walked up to her and took one of her hands in his and gave her knuckles a kiss - not a gallant one, but a hungry one - and then swept a hand up her arm, giving her goosebumps. That hand landed on the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss that was greedy and demanding. A few steps backward and they were on the couch together, wrapped up and twined in each others' arms in an instant, moaning against each other's lips, humming with abandon. Juliet melted into his embrace, and made herself a mental note to thank Leliana for the encouragement. She did know how to improvise, and here was the proof. They kissed for a long time, Juliet concentrating on the cushion of his lips, the roll of his tongue against hers, how he tasted.

Juliet loosened his tie, tossed it over her shoulder and undid a few of his shirt buttons so she could slip a hand onto his chest. She put her full palm against his heart and it made him stop kissing her to look at her, a hand cupping her face. She didn't know if it was her imagination but she could feel his heart thumping. They studied each other, panting a little. For ten seconds Juliet thought about what she'd normally be doing, fundraising, making calls, drinking bad office coffee, staring out the window - this was infinitely better. He was _hers_ right now. With two emphatic hands she ripped his shirt open with a gleeful grin, sending the buttons flying. Her reward was his hearty laughter as he leaned back against the pillows behind him.

"Well, guess I can't go back to the office now!"  
  
" _Do you_ want to go back to the office?"

He shook his head at her, back to being serious, and it was enough to make her dive onto him, showering his chest with kisses - his skin was intoxicating, and it wasn't his cologne, it was _him,_ and she wanted as much of him as she could get. She licked at his ear, bit at his neck, and then slipped out of his arms and onto her knees before him. Juliet felt his eyes on her as she unbuckled his belt, unzipped his fly, and released him from his boxers. She was glad they weren't standing up in a dark supply closet this time, because now she could get a good look at him. She stroked him lightly, feeling him throb in response. His cock was as thick and heavy as she remembered, the head shaped so nicely, and she knew exactly where she wanted to put it. 

Juliet made direct eye contact with him as she drew him between her lips and into her mouth. 

Cullen hissed, groaned, and then swore, dropping his head back for a moment before focusing on her again. She sucked noisily on the head of his cock, looped her tongue around him over and over again, delighting when he brushed the hair from her face and held it back so he could see exactly what she was doing. She licked up and down his shaft, slurped and drooled all over him until he was so stiff she could let go of him and his cock was pointing straight at the ceiling. She gave him a wicked smile and a few more licks, but he was staring down at her with an almost stern look.

"Clothes. Off. Now. Get on that bed."

Juliet felt almost drunk in his presence, especially with her fingers wrapped around his cock. She giggled first before responding, "I thought I give the orders around here."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Back at the office, yes. Around here? No."

She squeaked as he easily lifted her off the ground and flung her onto the bed. In between more blazing, breathless kissing, they managed to remove their clothes, but as he positioned himself over her, she had to stop to ask him a question.

"You don't, um, have anything with you, do you? We didn't... The last time..."

Cullen looked confused for a moment, but once he realized what she was referring to, he rolled off of her and onto his side so he was still pressed up against her, one arm around her. "I don't. And, I'm sorry, Juliet. That night, I hadn't been thinking. I was just enjoying myself."

"I was too."

He leaned down to kiss her a few times, sweet and slow. When he pulled back Juliet asked, more than a little frustrated. "Well, what are we going to do now?"

He crooked a grin at her that made her feel hot all over. "I can think of a few things."

She was gazing into his eyes, dark brown flecked through with gold when she felt his hand slip between her legs, pulling one of her thighs open. When he spoke again his voice was husky with desire. "I can start with this." His middle finger dipped into her, where she was already wet, and his lightest touch against her most sensitive flesh made her arch her back. He kept toying with her, making her wetter and wetter, while he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. He stimulated her until she was aching with need, panting and writhing. He chuckled, his mouth still against her breast. "You're wetter than you were the first time we were together, Juliet."

Juliet yanked on his curls to draw him back to her lips. "It's because I want you even more. All I've done is think of you since that night." Cullen paused again, the way he had when she had her hand against his heart earlier, except this time he had a few fingers deep inside of her. "Then why didn't you call me? Or text me? Or email me? I - waited for you to say anything to me." He crooked his fingers inside of her, making her gasp again before she could answer. She held on to the back of his hand as he kept stimulating her, and now helpless with want, she told him the truth:

"I was scared."

He brushed his lips against hers again. "Don't be scared."

She whined as he pulled away from more of her kisses, but he was moving down the bed, kissing and biting a trail down her body as he travelled south. He shimmied under one of her knees, parted her folds with two confident fingers, and pressed his lips to her cunt. Juliet swore and bucked on the soft mattress, one hand on his head to press him deeper against her. 

 _"Fuck, Cullen, that's so fucking good!"_ From between her thighs she could hear him say between sloppy yet precise licks of his tongue, "I love to hear you swear - you never swear at work," but Juliet was barely listening though, his mouth was so intense, it was better than her own hand, better than her reliable vibrator. She wanted to swear for him again as he asked, but instead she could only beg, please pleasepleasepleaseplease please as she humped upward against the tip of his tongue, going wild for him, knowing she was wetting the sheets underneath her and was probably dripping her lust for him all down his face - but before he could push her closer toward her oblivion, she swung one of her legs over him, surprising him by sitting up. Her cheeks felt hot, and she was certain she was blushing all over her body. He made a move toward her but she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Stop."  
"But - "  
"I don't want to come before you. I want us to - do it together."

Cullen curled a lip at her, a snarl of complete ravenousness, and before she could over-explain what she wanted, he had manipulated her into the precise position she had in mind, with her pussy over his face and hers over his cock. After that, it was only moans and sighs, with a few of the swears he claimed he so liked scattered in between. They were both lost in each other and utterly tuned in to each other, and it was like nearly swooning but still being able to notice every detail - until his tongue began to move faster and faster, and she answered his cues by bobbing her head up and down on his manhood, sucking and slurping to try to keep up with him. 

They raced toward their mutual climax, side by side, skin pressed against skin, and in the middle of all of this Juliet had a thought - that she wanted to be naked with this man, countless more times, or maybe even forever.

Juliet Trevelyan found herself getting getting religious, and as she felt her orgasm edging closer to her, she said a little prayer to herself, a little wish:

_Please, Maker, can I keep him?_

She gasped and moaned helplessly, his cock still in her mouth, as her release flooded her senses, it was so intense she tried to squirm away from Cullen's mouth but he wrapped his arms around her hips and held her in place. His body responded too, and she swallowed everything he gave her, until he was done. Cullen rolled them both onto their sides where they laid, breathing heavy in recovery, until she felt him pulling on her arm. He was murmuring, _c'mere, Jules, please,_ and she crawled up the bed and flopped into his waiting arms. Without another word, they drifted off to sleep together as the light outside the window began to fade.

* * * * *

Juliet rolled over and opened her eyes. It was night time outside, and Cullen was still spooning her. She had to blink a few times before she could properly see the alarm clock by the bed.

"Oh Andraste's tits, it's 5:30 PM! We - napped through the rest of the work day?!"

She looked over at Cullen who stretched from head to toe, a content smile across his face. "Mmm, guess we were just exhausted." He yawned and tried to pull her back into his arms. "I don't get a lot of sleep, so I guess I needed it."

Juliet scrambled out of bed and away from his hands to head straight for the cell phone in her purse, checking the notifications. She had missed twelve different phone calls, a whopping five of them in a row from Josie, and a few from Leliana, but Leliana left no voice mails, ever. She listened to a few of Josie's panicked messages and sat down on the edge of the bed, almost in tears.

"Oh no, I missed a video call with one of our big Orlesian investors. And a call from someone in Alistair Therin's staff, he wants to - "

"He wants to fuck you. It's pretty obvious."  
"Cullen!"

She scrolled through the rest of the messages, some of them were less urgent but more than one person had definitely swung by her office with a question or two and found it uncharacteristically empty. 

"I need to go, I need to get back."  
"Jules, in half an hour everyone will be walking out of the building. Don't worry so much, I'm sure Josie and Leliana - "  
"No, no, I dropped the ball, those Orlesians are weirdly overfond of me, they - "  
"Everyone is fond of you, Jules. So you didn't answer one phone call, call them in the morning, tell them you had car trouble."

She began pulling on her clothes but stopped when she spotted Cullen's discarded shirt on the ground.

"Oh, I ruined your shirt, didn't I."  
"You sure did."

Juliet looked at him, stretched out on the bed on the pillows, stark naked, his mouth still crooked at one corner in total contentment. 

"What are you smiling about?"  
"You came so hard. You were just quivering on my face. And then how it felt, when you were moaning with my cock deep in your mouth..." He closed his eyes with a nostalgic little hum, and pulled the sheets back on the bed next to him, beckoning her to return.

"Cullen! I - I want to, but I can't, I need to get back to work and answer these emails and call some people back and - "  
"Use my laptop, call them from here, and then we can - "  
"No! I am going to sew on a few of these buttons so you can walk out of this hotel with some dignity and then we are leaving!"

Cullen sat up with a resigned sigh. "I always did like them stubborn. And smart. And beautiful."

Juliet located the hotel sewing kit out of the provided toiletries in the bathroom. When she returned to the suite, Cullen was in his boxers and holding something in his hand.

"You don't have to do this. We could stay here for a few more hours, have dinner, enjoy ourselves again. You have a good support team, I'm certain everyone covered for you or has taken care of things. You have to learn how to -"

"- trust people. It's not about trusting people, I trust all of you. It's just that, this business is my life. Helping people is my life."

Cullen's face softened. "I know. It's one of the things I love about you."

He reached out and gave her what was in his hand, the buttons she had torn off his shirt. Juliet sat down on the sofa where they had started their rendezvous and got her needle and thread ready. She had to stop and take a deep breath. He had just said he loved something about her. He said it was _one_ of the things he loved about her. If only he knew his words could make her quiver too. 

* * * * *

The elevator doors dinged and the two of them stepped out, looking as pressed and efficient as they did as when they arrived. They came around the corner of the reservation desk and then came to a halt.

"Mr. Rutherford! Miss Trevelyan!"

It was Jim, one of Cullen's many departmental minions, but one who stood out from the rest of the pack because he always seemed to be around but never seemed to be in any great hurry. And here he was standing in their way of making a quick exit. 

"James, how are you? Miss Trevelyan and I were just -"

Cullen paused. He had started out so confidently but then he ran out of words and she could tell Jim was processing what it meant to see them here, outside of the office, especially when the two were famous for working well past 6 pm after everyone had left. Jim's face Juliet was going to have to do the lying.

"We came to have lunch and then we just decided to stay here and keep working. Cullen has this wonderful project - "

"Oh yes, the wind power thing. Yes, of course. I've heard all about that around the office. I was just taking my parents to dinner, you know how early old people like to eat."

He stepped aside and revealed a lovely older couple who seemed a little befuddled by their deluxe surroundings. Juliet gave him an annoyed look and then held her hand out to his mother.

"I'm Juliet. I'm Jim's boss. And his employer. Pleased to meet you, I hope you have a wonderful dinner. Your son is - "

Juliet gave Cullen a sharp, boss-like glance, cueing him to speak now. "He's a good kid. He could listen to instructions a little more and spend a less time talking to coworkers around the coffee pot, but he's a good kid. Jim, how about this? You can expense this meal, I'll allow it."

The suspicious look on Jim's face faded away and he lit up and shook his boss's hand. As Jim sputtered with gratitude and earnest excitement, Cullen gave her a quick sideways glance that made Juliet give him the tiniest of smiles. He had just guaranteed Jim wouldn't remember them slinking out of a hotel together, he'd only remember the free meal. And on top of that, it was a kind thing to do. 

They said goodbye to Jim and his family and waited in silence together at the valet while Juliet ran through a thousand scenarios in her head about how they'd say goodbye to each other. What would happen if her car came first, or how about his? Should she hug him? Could she? Could she kiss him? Does she ask him to text her, or call her, or should she be cool, be detached? How could she be detached after that afternoon with him? She blushed just thinking about his head between her legs, and then caught Cullen staring at her. Great, what's next, could he read minds?

Cullen's car arrived first and he turned to her, looking as nervous as she felt.  

"I'll see you tomorrow?"  
"Yes of course. Thank you, Cullen." _Oh Maker, why was she thanking him._  
"Ah, yes, I mean no. No, um, thank you. You have a good night."

The valet was holding his door open for him with a level of patience that was threatening to dissipate very soon. Juliet put a hand out for a handshake but Cullen was going in for a half hug. For a brief moment, she felt his lips on her cheek and then he pulled back and hurried to his car. 

Juliet watched him drive away and as soon as he was out of sight, the fear she felt when Jim had spotted them together came back much too fast. No, she wouldn't text or call him tonight and if he contacted her, she wasn't going to answer, at least not right away. Maybe in the morning. Or maybe not at all. 

_Rein yourself in, Juliet.  
Boundaries. Borders. These are good things. _

She forced herself not to think about him for the rest of the night. She caught up on her emails and updated her to-do list. 

The next morning Juliet put on the first thing she chose and went to work. 


	3. Camping in the Hinterlands

Juliet scrolled through an Inquisition spreadsheet and played with the numbers. It wasn't easy running a profitable non-profit, but it was all about wise investments, and a few risky ones. Sometimes she would turn off a revenue source and see how bad off they'd be, or turn off three of them for a more dire scenario, and sometimes she imagined losing all but one. What would they do then? How many employees would they have to lay off, how many of them would work for a lower rate? Would she - go crawling to her father for help, or one of his wealthy friends? She thought about walking into that country club in Ostwick in her tennis outfit and wheedling her way into conversations with those stodgy, racist dinosaurs. The thought made her sick. She didn't even like going home for Satinalia, often she made up a work-related excuse to stay on this side of the Waking Sea. Thinking of her family made her remember she hadn't texted her little sister in a while though, maybe she should - 

"Jules, it's time for e-staff. I love how I have to come in here every week and tell you to attend your own meeting."

Leliana was standing in her doorway, laptop and phone in hand. Juliet made a noise of frustration, "Maker's tits, I blew an hour getting so caught up in the numbers."

"You  _like_ worrying. I know how you are. Worrying, even though it does nothing, makes you feel like you have some power. You're too tightly wound, you should - "

Juliet picked up her things for the meeting, wrote a note to text her sister, and interrupted Leliana at the same time. "I know what you're going to say and that's done and over with. It was just a thing that happened - "

"TWICE. 'A thing' happens only once. Twice. And you initiated that second time."  
"True, yes, but. It's done. I think he knows it too. I heard some of the healer mage ladies who just got back from the Hissing Wastes putting together a group plan to find him on whichever dating site he must use."

"That's just wishful thinking on their behalf, and probably encouraged by Dorian. I can't  _believe_ you haven't told him either! He's going to kill you when he finds out."

The two women headed for the small conference room Juliet always used to talk to her executive staff, which was just Leliana, Josie and Cullen. As they approached, Juliet spotted Cullen inside chatting with Josie. "I wish you'd stop bringing it up. Nothing is going on and nothing willgo on."

Leliana made a noise of amiable annoyance. "Oh please. The two of you are so obviously pining for each other. Maybe you're more pokerfaced about it but he makes the ooey, gooiest eyes at you when you're not looking. It makes me sick! It's like high school all over again, except you're adults, and you can have fun if you - "

They arrived at the door of the conference room and Juliet grabbed the knob, desperate to end another conversation on this matter.

"Stop now, all right? Meeting time."

Juliet opened the door and the other two executives smiled up at them, but Josie was too curious to let that last line drop though. "Stop what now?"

"Oh, nothing. Leliana is on about something again."

Leliana crossed around the table to sit next to Cullen. "Juliet stresses herself out for no reason. I caught her deep in our accounting spreadsheet, fretting over nothing. We're doing well, aren't we?"

Josie and Cullen agreed and then began talking at the same time in agreement, Josie going on about their PR and how so many organizations wanted to align with them, and Cullen trying to talk over her about how many ex-Templars they were helping, how they were still good soldiers doing good work - 

"OK, OK, I get it. Everything's fine and I should relax a little." Juliet took a deep breath and exhaled, ignoring how Cullen was looking at her with a touch of concern in his golden brown eyes. "Let's get down to business, shall we? Josie, did Alistair Therin ever answer your email, would he be willing to appear at our charity event in Val Royeax?"

"No answer yet, but his assistant promised she'd get an answer out of him by the end of the week. She thinks he's just being coy - about  _you_ asking him directly."

Juliet felt Cullen's gaze on her as she blushed. "Oh, um, no no no, you need to keep handling this. He's - married. I won't - ha ha, I wouldn't. I don't. I don't do that. I don't do things like that."

Leliana began giggling to herself but Juliet gave her an icy look that made her stop. "OK, keep it moving, Josie, I can see from here that you have a long list of things to cover."  
  


* * * * *  
  


The meeting stretched on for longer than the hour they set aside for it. Leliana and Josie often bickered about doing things diplomatically or just going around the bureaucratic roadblocks by doing a little "research" to find out how to make a state senator do something about toxic waste being dumped into a pond too close to a town where the Inquisition was about to set up a new homeless shelter. Juliet was always adamant they try to fix as many things as possible wherever they were helping people, and sometimes it meant meddling in local politics. Sometimes it meant throwing a little cocktail party too. The two argued on and on about which one was more efficacious, while Cullen tried to steer the conversations toward his own goals - sending his ex-Templars into war torn corners of Thedas to help refugees or keep the peace around polling places or where people gathered water or lined up for bread. Juliet had to mediate it all but then sometimes she just let the three duke it out together, knowing eventually her three most dedicated executives would come to some sort of truce about where their resources should go. She was zoning out on whatever it was they were talking about until she realized Leliana and Cullen were arguing and on the verge of raising their voices.

"Wait, what are we pissed off about now? I'm sorry, I was still thinking about how our Orlesian investors want to meet with me soon..."

"CULLEN scheduled a trip for me, him, and Varric to go take a look at those new windmills of his but I told him weeks ago that this weekend was no good."

"They're not windmills, they're wind towers. And palling around with your old friends at the Chantry isn't as important as this - plus, you promised!"  
"I did promise, but on a different weekend. Why not ask one of your reports to come with you, Blackwall seems outdoorsy."

Josie blanched. "Um, he's busy. Oh, it was - just that I heard he was busy. You can ask him? But..."

Leliana and Juliet raised eyebrows at her but returned to the conversation at hand. "Cullen, why can't you go with just Varric?" 

"Because now Varric says he can't come, he has a meeting with his Tevene translator because one of his smutty novels is about to be published there for the first time. I wanted Leliana to take pictures with her drone, get some good footage, we're setting them up in these beautiful areas. " Cullen crossed his arms and sat back in his chair, disappointed. "I'm taking a handful of ex-Templars out there to make camp where we will set up the last wind tower. We're going to be done with this project soon, I wanted some documentation of some sort."

The women were silent. He was always helpful, wasn't he, and rarely asked for much in return. He had his curmudgeonly moments, especially if a meeting devolved into gossip, or if Josie fixated on a gala she wanted to plan, but he was a steadfast, reliable presence at their company. Juliet wanted to say something supportive to him but Leliana spoke first - by shoving her into the spotlight.

"Why not take Jules with you? Jules, what about that camera of yours? Didn't you used to - "  
  
"Oh, that was just a hobby, I haven't... It's been a while. I wasn't very good."

The scowl disappeared from Cullen's face as Leliana dug her in deeper. "Please. I've seen some of your photos, they were very moody and evocative. You were _great_  and you know it. And weren't you telling me you need a vacation?"

"I said I _felt_ like I needed one, not that I really - needed one. I _also_ need to be in the office on Monday."

Leliana pushed forward. "But, Cullen, we were going to be back by Sunday night, weren't we?" Her faux-innocent tone made Juliet want to kick her under the table, but she was seated too far away. 

"Leliana, if she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to go. Besides, Juliet - do you even like camping?"

Juliet twisted one of the rings on her fingers. "My family didn't really do the whole tent on the ground thing. I didn't grow up doing it at least." She hated how that sounded. She sounded like a boring little rich girl who did the things required of her, horseback riding, a little yachting, lots of tennis and piano lessons. She hated that he'd be thinking these things about her too, that she was too precious for one weekend outdoors, or the type to protect her manicure. 

He was about to change the subject when Juliet stopped him.

"I'll go. I'll go with you, Cullen. I'll hike in, sleep in a tent, take pictures. Whatever you want."

Josie and Leliana chirped away about how everything had worked out. Juliet opened her laptop and updated her calendar, keeping her eyes on her laptop screen - because she could feel him watching her.  
  


* * * * *  
  


That night, she went on a tear through a camping store, buying things without knowing if she'd need them. She picked out a sleeping bag, a headlamp, expensive hiking boots with jaunty red laces and thick wool socks. She watched a store clerk demonstrate how her single-person tent popped up and folded up so small it could be carried in a pouch in her backpack. Should she buy rations? Would she need bug spray? Panic coursed through her limbs and she had to take deep breaths while leaning on a rack of puffy parkas. Another thought occurred to her - the weather? Should she buy one of these jackets? She scowled at her phone - it would be warm during the day and very chilly at night, great, what was she supposed to wear? Some of these dowdy pants with toggles and pockets everywhere? Did she need one of these floppy sun hats? _Andraste, help me, I can't do this. I can't wear a floppy sun hat._ _There's gotta be better hats than this. How about this one? It's more of a visor than a hat. Is this less terrible or worse?_

"Miss, I'm sorry, but the store is closing. We'd be happy to ring you up at register one."

Juliet glanced at her watch and then realized she was the last one in the store and more than a few employees had been watching her trying on the same two hats over and over again.

"Maker, I'm sorry. I must look crazy."

The tall, athletic, and outdoorsy young woman pushed her cart for her toward the front of the store. "Let me guess, first time camping?"

"Am I that obvious?"  
"Yes, but it's no big deal, we're used to it. And you'll have a wonderful time, it's always special your first time."

Juliet watched her grand total growing bigger and bigger as the clerk rang up her purchase. With each beep of her scanner, Juliet grew even more nervous, but then she realized she was alone with the girl and had a chance to tell a stranger what she was unable to tell others.

"I'm - um, going camping with a guy I like a lot - a LOT. But we're... _I'm his boss_."

The girl paused in the middle of scanning something, her eyes wide with awe. "That's hot. Good luck."

She handed the cashier her credit card and maybe it was the way the girl was looking at her with admiration, or maybe it was just an endorphin rush from spending too much money, but just like that, Juliet felt confident again. Outside in the parking lot as she dumped all the gear into her car, she felt buoyant. She gave herself a pep talk. 

It didn't matter, the whole Cullen thing. It was going to be beautiful out in the forest, she'd be away from her desk for a few days, no wifi, no emails. When she got home she'd extricate her camera equipment from her closet and make sure she had all the lenses she liked. The trip would be a challenge and she always thrived under pressure.

Juliet shut the truck of her car and looked up at the night sky. In two days the moon would be full and she would get to look at it without city lights. She closed her eyes and imagined the sound of the crickets filling her ears.  
  


* * * * *  
  


Switchbacks.

She learned what a switchback was on her very first day in the Hinterlands and after this, she never wanted to see another one again, unless they were going down - and walking back to their cars. She hated the relentless back and forth of the narrow mountain paths and had slowed down so much she had fallen behind Cullen and his ex-Templars and lost sight of them entirely. Juliet leaned on a boulder and reached for her water canteen. _Void take that Leliana for all of this, her constant meddling._ _And *fuck* my own anxiety. I should have bought that floppy sun hat._ Cullen had taken pity on her when she arrived with no hat and jammed a spare Haven Grey Wolves baseball cap on her head that he had dug out of his pack before they left the parking lot at the base of the mountain. She was now sweating all over it, even though he told her he didn't care and that she could keep it, that it looked  _nice_ on her.  _Nice._ _He said "nice". Which means I look like a goofy idiot._

"Juliet?"

She squeaked in surprise when he appeared at her side. "Are you all right? I know it's tough going but we're halfway there."

Her face fell. "Half way? HALF _WAY_?"

He looked at her and then threw his head back and laughed.

"Don't laugh at me! I'm dying. In fact, I think you're trying to kill me."  
"No no, I'm sorry, you just looked - "  
"I looked  _what?"_  
  
He snorted and then composed himself. "Nothing. Sorry. It was the way your voice echoed around the canyon there for a moment." He mimicked her outraged tone. "Half way! Way! Way! Way!"

She shoved him, spilling water on herself in the process. "How aren't you sweating? It isn't fair."

"I'm sorry. I should have warned you the hike would be tough. But I was worried you wouldn't want to come."

They locked eyes until Juliet looked away, nervous and her heart fluttering. He motioned to her to follow him. "Let's get going before the guys worry. I'll walk with you, is that all right?"

"Yes, but you've got to go slower, please."

He set a forgiving pace for them on the last portion of the hike, talking a lot more than she had ever heard him talk and she suspected he was trying to keep her mind off the grueling ascent. Even though her body was about to give up and fail her completely, she wanted to rub this moment in the faces of all the girls back at the office. He was telling her things they couldn't discover by snooping or staring at him as he walked through the courtyard. He spoke of his family and their many camping trips, where they went and what they saw, how his mother loved bird watching while his father preferred fishing in lakes and rivers. When they were little, all four Rutherford kids slept in one tent together, but when they grew older, the boys wanted their own space, and also the opportunity to torment their sisters by putting lizards or frogs or a handful of pond algae into their sleeping bags. Cullen laughed while recalling how his youngest sister would shriek at the top of her lungs. She realized that she had only known the pressed and ironed version of him, the man who got migraines and neck aches from too much time bent over a laptop - but this was a more authentic him, talking freely in the fresh, clean mountain air, his hair golden in the sun.

Juliet lost track of time and was surprised when they made it to the top. She had been so engrossed in listening to him that she had stopped looking at her watch. Waiting for them at the summit were Cullen's ex-Templars who all heartily congratulated her for surviving the hike. They led them to the viewpoint and Cullen beamed at her as he showed her what he had been working on.

Dotting the hillsides beneath them were his wind towers. They cascaded down two ridges where the wind was perpetually funneling into a canyon and was always strong and vigorous. These were federally protected lands, but the Inquisition had been able to prove they could put them down in areas where the now-banned lumber industry had been overzealous and forest renewal was not possible. Cullen had been sendings groups of his comrades into the Hinterlands to construct the towers, and now the wind towers were helping power three small towns nearby who could now turn around the excess power credits and fund their own projects. Libraries and schools would get renovated, parks built - lives were enriched, all because of the Inquisition. All because of Cullen, she corrected herself. He had done all of this on his own, with only encouragement and funding from her.

"Incredible, Cullen. Absolutely incredible."  
"We've got one more to build, right here on this plateau. And you won't believe how fast it goes, the kit is remarkable. Do you think any of these guys have formal engineering training?"

One of the older ex-Templars, Kurt, turned to them to shoot Cullen a look. "Well, I do! You've got to have at least one engineer, and the rest of it is grunt work."

Juliet cleared her throat and spoke up. "It's _good_ work. You've all done wonderful work here, I'm so proud of all of you. It couldn't have been easy hauling this gear in here - "

She heard one of the guys mumbling something about how a few bits had to be airlifted in, but someone near him elbowed him to shut up about it. "The work you've done here is actually helping people. The citizens in these little lumber towns where jobs have dried up and drug use is high - they know now that we haven't forgotten them. Someone cared." Juliet got a little emotional whenever she brought up this next point: "The government doesn't always care, you know. They let things fall through the cracks and those things are not things, they are _people_. They give up too easily. But we don't, do we."

The former soldiers heartily agreed with her but one of them turned and walked away, making Juliet think she had said something wrong, but the woman returned with a handful of little paper cups and a bottle of whiskey.

"I think that fine speech deserves a toast."

Cullen was beaming at Juliet and for once, she pushed aside her usual anxiety and smiled back at him. She did notice later that he wasn't quite as overjoyed when he watched her assembling her one-person tent ten feet away from his, but they were still around other Inquisition staff, and she told herself she couldn't just go crawling into his sleeping bag. Nor did she want to; the camaraderie this group felt together as they accomplished something small but significant was special, and she didn't want to spoil it by giving people a reason to whisper or gossip.   
  


* * * * *  
  


After a simple campfire dinner everyone retired to their tents. Juliet was bone tired, and expected to fall asleep the moment her head hit her pillow - but then she heard something.

Rustling.

She ignored it at first. They were up a mountain and in the middle of the forest, it could be anything, just a nug poking around in the bushes nearby.

The rustling didn't stop, and Juliet thought she heard a grunt, and some heavy breathing. She squinted her eyes shut and tried to make herself fall asleep. She practice one of her anti-anxiety breathing techniques but then she heard the grunt again - and what seemed like leaves and branches being crushed by something very heavy and menacing. 

No no. It couldn't be - great bears? In her panicked preparation for this trip she had read it wasn't quite the season for them to be hanging around the Hinterlands, although this was indeed their natural habitat. In the spring, they tended to move closer to the streams nearby where salmon was spawning. What if - 

Juliet thought the rustling was getting closer to her tent now. She sat up and peered through the mesh dome of her tent but could see nothing, and she could tell everyone else in the tents spread around nearby were fast asleep. 

"CULLEN!" She whispered as loud as she could without shrieking.

No response. She laid back down and told herself nothing was out there, but now something else was beginning to occur to her: she was freezing. The expensive sleeping bag she had purchased was only keeping portions of herself warm. Her feet were were cold, despite her thick socks, and even when she pulled the edge of it all the way up to her nose, it felt like her arms were still cold and she kept them wrapped around herself. She had no choice but to lie there shivering, listening for the great bear in the bushes to grow bold enough to come up to her tent and start eating her face.

Her eyes began to flutter shut, exhaustion overwhelming her anxieties - until the rustling began again and it was definitely a few feet away from her tent. 

"Cullen... Cullen! Someone!! **Help**!!"

She had howled loud enough to wake up more than a few of her friends and she knew she had been right when someone banging a metal spoon against the bottom of a pot came charging closer to her tent. She heard the ex-soldiers shouting to each other, spreading out across the campsite, and then someone startled her badly when the entrance to her tent unzipped in front of her.

"Juliet, are you all right?" It was Cullen, carrying a lantern in one hand and what looked like a huge can of mace in the other.  
  
"Andraste's fucking tits, no I am not all right! Was that a bear?"

The soldier who had shared her whiskey with everyone, Lauren, appeared at his side. She had the pot and spoon in hand, and as she looked around, her headlamp shined a beam of light around the camp and into the forest nearby.

"I hate to tell you this, but it was maybe two bears, and a cub. I saw them retreating." Lauren, intimidating and brassy, and a former Templar captain like Cullen, looked down at Juliet cowering in her tent. "Do you have any food in your tent at all? Any rations, a granola bar or apple you might have forgotten about?"

"No, I put it all in the bear lock box like you guys did."  
Lauren gave her another look. "Any beauty supplies? Something that has a heavy fragrance?"

At this, Juliet narrowed her eyes. "No, I did not bring lipstick with me, I didn't think I'd need any of that stuff all weekend."

Holden, one of the younger ex-Templars came up and gave one of her tent posts a shake. "Maybe they just liked the look of this obviously-brand-new tent! It's bright green and shaped kind of funny, maybe they thought you were a big, tasty seed or something."

The handful of former soldiers who had been roused by Juliet's shrieking all laughed at this, but it just made her cranky. "Okay yes yes, have a laugh, your CEO almost became a bear appetizer."

Jaime, one of the veterans of the group, ruffled his beard and looked in the direction of where the bears had disappeared. "They might have just been passing through. To the east there's a river in the valley there's a big river. I'm sure they're just back on track now."

Juliet popped her head out of the tent, sheepish now. "Fine, good, I hope so. Everyone just, forget I screamed at the top of my lungs and go back to sleep. I'm sorry to have woken so many of you. Go on, go. That's an order."

Her friends dispersed but Cullen stayed crouched near the door to her tent. "Are you really all right?"

His tone made her suddenly feel very sensitive and very weak. "No. I'm freezing, and I'm scared now. They clearly wanted to eat me and only me."

Cullen put his lantern down and looked at the tag at the end of her sleeping bag. "Juliet, this is for warm weather camping."

She looked at the tag now too, it said "35 degrees and above" on it. "That sounded plenty cold to me, but I admit I had no idea what I was doing in the supply store."

Cullen paused, looking toward the rest of the camp which was now silent, save a few people zipping up their tents and sleeping bags and nestling into them. He dropped his voice and Juliet could tell he was trying to keep his tone neutral.

"Come sleep in my tent. I've got an extra blanket."

"But..."  
  
"It was just a suggestion. You could also move your tent closer to mine, or -" He rubbed the back of his neck, his tell tale sign he was nervous. "Never mind, I know you'd never - "

She was already wriggling out of her sleeping bag. "I would. I don't want to spend all night shivering or - dying when that bear comes back to eat me."

Juliet slipped into her boots, grabbed her sleeping bag and her pillow and followed him back to his tent. His was not brand new, but it was roomier and had a protective flap over it that was keeping it a lot warmer than hers. She knelt in a corner while she watched Cullen arranging things so his blanket could cover their two sleeping bags. He finished tidying up and got under the blanket, pulling back an edge for her. 

"There, see, nice and cozy. But um, not too cozy of course. This is, after all, a business trip."

Juliet felt her cheeks grow warm. She could tell he was trying to be nonchalant. They both were, yet Juliet knew they had both wanted this. This moment was the reason she had forced herself to walk up a mountain, she had wanted to end up here in his tent, and she loved how he looked propped up on one elbow, his old Templar dog tags dangling from his neck. She slipped into her sleeping bag, but kept one side of it unzipped. Without warning him, she slid closer to him.

"Thank you. For being a gentleman."

She brushed her lips against his and he kissed her back - soft, and almost reverent. He then scooped her even closer, kissed her against her neck a few times, making her sigh.

And then he stopped.

It took her a few seconds to realize he had fallen asleep with his lips against her neck. It didn't make her angry though because she was as tired as he was. She curled herself into his arms, kissed him on the forehead, and closed her eyes too, feeling safe and protected.  
  


* * * * *  
  


The next morning she woke up alone, listening to the sound of the ex-soldiers eating and talking over breakfast outside her tent. She froze, realizing they'd all see her come out of Cullen's tent. "Oh Juliet, will you please get over yourself," she heard Leliana chastising her in her mind. "Just go out there and get some bacon before it's all gone." She sighed, knowing it wasn't really Leliana's advice, but her own, she just usually had to funnel her more reasonable thoughts through the voice of her more reasonable friends. She unzipped Cullen's tent, slipped her boots on and walked up to the campfire, where everyone greeted her warmly and didn't even notice whose tent she emerged from. Juliet relaxed, especially when Cullen handed her an enamelware cup full of hot coffee with the right amount of milk in it.

"Good morning, did you sleep all right?"

She nodded at him as she took a sip. "Yes, better than I - " She took a bigger sip. "You know, this is exactly how I like my coffee!"  
"I know. I've seen you at the coffee pot in the break room."

Everyone was laughing at something one one of the older Templars was saying so Juliet took the chance to be more intimate with him. She lowered her voice.

"Have you been watching me at the office?"  
"It's impossible not to, Juliet."

Cullen kept his eyes on his troop but aimed his comments only at her. "Impossible, when you're wearing one of those tight pencil skirts. Impossible, when you wear that perfume I like."

Juliet enjoyed the ping of adrenaline his voice was giving her. "Which one?"

Cullen took a sip of his coffee, making Juliet wait for his answer. He swallowed. 

"It's soft, and sweet, just like your p- "

Someone broke the spell by yelling across the campsite, "Juliet! There's one more blueberry muffin, do you want it?"

"Stay here, I'll get it for you."

Cullen gave her a heated look and then headed over to his friend, but his last dangling remark made Juliet feel warm all over. She remembered how good with his mouth. In fact, it had been one of her main points of focus the last two dozen times she had fired up her vibrator. She had tried to stay away from him for weeks after their tryst at the Four Seasons because she feared that every time she looked at him it was written all over her face that she wanted to see his head between her thighs again. Juliet watched him extricating himself from a conversation so he could bring her the little pastry and soon he was at her side, watching her bite into it. He resumed his intimate tone.

"Now, what were we talking about before we were interrupted?"  
"I'm not sure. You were telling me about something that was - soft and sweet?"

He clenched his jaw while watching his friends cleaning up after breakfast. "That's right. How could I forget?"

Cullen turned a fraction so half her view was now filled by his imposing figure and there could be no way the nearby Inquisition staffers could hear him.

"Soft and sweet and right between your legs. I liked pressing my lips against it and hearing the sounds you made. I like putting my fingers in it while I kissed you and you moaned into my mouth."

Juliet licked her lips and swallowed, trying to keep her bearings as he continued. "I guess _you_ didn't like it though. You've avoided me since that afternoon at the hotel. You wouldn't even look at me for days."

Her eyes went straight to his in a panic. "I, did. I did like it. It wasn't - "

"It wasn't what?" The look on his face was earnest and sincere and she couldn't lie to him.

"It wasn't you, or anything you did. I avoided you because I'm an idiot who can't control her face and I was afraid I was staring at you... and everyone would know..."

The team was grouped around the blueprints for the last wind tower, not paying attention to them at all, but still she whispered the last part of her confession. "I was afraid they'd all know how badly I wanted you again."

Cullen's breath stuttered a little. "How badly?"  
  
"I've never gone on a single hike in my life and I just followed you up a mountain."

A predatory grin spread across his face and Juliet knew she was blushing. She touched one of her cheeks and stretched as she looked off toward the horizon when she saw Kurt approaching them. 

"Cullen, we're going to get started for the day, let's see how much we can get through before lunch, which some of these guys are already talking about."  
"I'll be right there. Juliet was just about to go get her camera."

Before she could turn and walk away he grabbed her arm above the elbow and stopped her so he could say something near her ear that only she could hear.

"I want to be with you again tonight."

He then pulled back and spoke to her in a normal voice. "Will that be all right with you?"

Juliet nodded, pretending everything was fine and nothing was extremely exciting. "Yes, of course. I'll just go get my camera gear."

She almost stumbled on the way back to her tent.

  
* * * * *  
  


The day went by quickly, as Juliet snapped pictures of her team at work working on the base of the last wind tower. The kit Cullen had commissioned was a marvel, designed to be put together by a handful of amateurs with a guidance from an engineer or two, and even Juliet could look at the instructions and understand how the pieces would fit together. She tested out a smaller beginner drone that Leliana had handed off to her, hoping to get some of the panoramic photos that Cullen wanted but she had to spend some time figuring out how to pilot it. By the time the team was prepping dinner, Juliet could make it hover and swoop above their campsite and she felt proud of learning something in just a few hours - and she felt happy and healthier too. Being out of the office was clearly good for her, she should make it a point to take more time off. 

Was the lightness she felt in all her limbs because of all of that, or because - of him?

She felt prioritized - every time he looked in her direction, which was often, even when he was in the middle of a task, helping someone bolt something into place, he would find a moment to glance up at her and smile. He never smiled this much in the office: was it because they were out here in the fresh air, doing things he found important, working with his hands instead of his always malfunctioning smartphone - or because of her?

Juliet found herself staring into the fire, trying not to think about these things, even as they paraded through her mind over and over again. The idea that she might like him more than an occasional dalliance was dangerous. She knew she had a crush on him, but everybody did - even Dorian, who once made her laugh so hard at a bar one night when he drunkenly ranted for thirty straight minutes about how unfair it was that Cullen often wore rather tight pants around the office and never seemed to drop anything when he happened to be passing by. "Just once, I wish he'd drop something, a pencil, a piece of paper, a condom - anything!"

Juliet smiled to herself thinking about Dorian's sexually charged outrage just in time to catch Cullen's attention. He wrapped up the conversation he was having with a few of his crew and walked around the campfire to where Juliet was perched on a portable stool, her hands wrapped around her mug.

"What are you smiling about?"  
"You. And your office pants."  
"My office pants?"

She took a sip while he laughed and sat down on a low boulder near her feet. Lauren had given her a good inch of whiskey to nurse and it was making her loose-lipped.

"Dorian thinks you wear very tight pants around the office on purpose."  
"I was not aware of them being overly tight."

She reached forward to pick a leaf out of his hair. "I find that hard to believe. Have you not noticed everyone staring at you, everywhere you go?"

Cullen took the mug out of her hands and took a sip before handing it back to her. "I don't care what everyone thinks, or what they're doing. I'm there to work hard for other people, for people who need help."

He put a hand on her ankle and gave her a squeeze. "And for you, of course." Even though she was wearing wool socks, she could feel him hand as though he had put it on her bare skin. She took another taste of the whiskey. "You don't work for _me_ , you - "

"I do. You have a good heart. Whatever you ask of me, I will always do." 

She handed him her cup. "Then finish this, I can't."

Juliet watched him drain the cup, savoring a moment to study his jawline, his neck. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then fixed her with a very particular look.

"You seem tired. Perhaps you should head for the tent?"

Juliet looked up at the team around the campfire. A few of them had fallen asleep in their folding chairs and the others were deep in stories about their time in the Templar service. Nobody was looking at them. She stood up and was about to say something clumsy and pointless but he stopped her -   
  
"I'll join you in a bit."  


* * * * *  
  


In the tent, Juliet tried to straighten herself out. She brushed her hair, checked her teeth for stray crumbs, took her bra off without removing her t-shirt. 

Then she stopped and realized how stupid that last thing was. She started taking all her clothes off, and then slipped into  _his_ sleeping bag. She pushed her face into his pillow, inhaling his scent, and zipped it all the way up, enjoying being enveloped in something he slept in. As soon as she tucked herself in, she had to fight back against how sleepy she felt. They'd been up since dawn and while she hadn't been building a wind tower, she had been documenting every moment of it and helping any way she could, which required a lot of running around between teams and passing tools back and forth. She was about to give up and just fall asleep in the protective cocoon of Cullen's sleeping bag when he unzipped the tent, a slightly frantic look on his face.

"Holden wouldn't shut up about something going on at the office, I'm sorry, I felt obliged to..."

Juliet sat up, holding the sleeping bag against her body. "Close the tent, it's freezing out there! And I'm - "

Cullen's eyes widened when he realized she was naked and tucked into his sleeping bag. He didn't say anything further, he put down the lantern inside the tent and lowered its light setting, and then methodically took off his boots and socks. He seemed to be taking his time, torturing her a little, as she laid there waiting for him. He turned off the lantern next. Now Juliet could only see the outline of him pulling off his t-shirt, the lines of his muscles shifting as he got out of his camo pants and discarded his boxers. She felt a short blast of cold air as he slipped under the blanket and unzipped his sleeping bag. She immediately pushed herself into his arms but he put a finger on her lips before she could kiss him.

His voice was the softest whisper. "We must be quiet. Some people are still awake."

She felt his hands on her ass, drawing her closer as his lips landed against her neck and then worked their way toward her earlobe. "You can't moan when I make you come."

Juliet nodded her head at him, assuring him she'd be quiet before she threw a leg over him so she could feel his stiffening cock against her cunt. Very quickly, they warmed up the interior of the tent, trading kisses, gasping and biting back moans. She was so hungry for him, for weeks she had thought only of him but had forced herself to stay away from him. Now she did what she wanted, she put her tongue in his mouth, brushed her fingers all over the ridges and ripples of his muscles, grasped his cock and rubbed a thumb over the tip of him, smearing his arousal all over him. It made him pull back the covers so they could see each other in the dim light coming from the moon above and from the campfire, still blazing not that far away.

They made a feast of each other's most sensitive, needy flesh, mimicking each other's actions. He looped a tongue around her nipples while she whimpered against the back of her hand, until she pushed him away and onto his back so she could do the same to him. While he had two fingers sliding in and out of the core of her, already slick and aching for him, she gripped his staff and stroked him slowly, and they touched each other like this for a long time, just breathing against each other's lips, foreheads pressed together, until Cullen had had enough. He pulled away from her and when she reached out for him, he put up one finger, telling her to wait. He scrambled on his knees toward his backpack and dug around in it while Juliet watched him with impatience - and then he turned to her and held something up with a triumphant look on his face that said, "I came prepared this time." Juliet bit back a smile when he tore open the condom packet and got himself ready, but when he positioned himself between her knees she grabbed him behind the neck and wrestled with him for a moment, until he was on his back and she was on top of him. She smiled as she slid him deep inside of her, and that curl of the scarred corner of his lip made her want to bounce on top of him until he broke his own proviso that they should be quiet. He mouthed the word "fuck" at her as she started to move her hips, back and forth, undoing the clip at the nape of her neck so her hair went tumbling down her shoulders. Cullen's face changed at that moment, now he was staring at her with a helpless look as he held on to her both her breasts as she rode him, harder and harder, until his face transformed again and he was almost giggling.

"Jules, stop!", he whispered.  
"WHY?", she hissed back at him.  
"Because - it sounds like we're fucking."

 Juliet had been so wrapped up in feeling the entirety of him deep inside of her that she hadn't really noticed the slapping sounds that they were making together. She grew still, biting back her own laughter, as they listened for a moment to see if the conversations outside of the tent had come to a halt. For a second, Juliet felt a ping of her usual panic and anxiety, until Lauren said something that made all the guys break into laughter. There was a version of herself that would have thought maybe it was a joke about what they were clearly up to, but Juliet forced those thoughts to go away, because she was busy right now, busy being rolled onto her side so he could take her from behind and wrap his arms around her tightly. Now she could only concentrate on the sweet friction that was building up inside of her, right where he had three of his fingers pressed to her pearl. His other hand kneaded one of her breasts as she leaned into his hot breath against her neck and her ear. There was only a handful of things that mattered now, and it was how hard he was, how focused he was on pleasing her, how she was now lying on her belly, face pressed into his pillow as he pumped his hips against hers. She felt pinned there, trapped beneath him, impaled on him. How could it be this good, she asked herself, eyes rolling back in her head as the head of his cock kept rubbing up right against the sweet spot deep inside of her. How could he be this good? He rearranged her again as though he wanted to feel her pussy from every possible angle, and Juliet found herself on her back, her knees pressed against the side of her body and held in place by Cullen's hands. He leaned forward, penetrating her again as slowly as he could manage it, but watching her face as he did so, and once he was fully sheathed in her again, he dropped his lips onto hers so they were connected in two places, two very wet and hot places.

She broke the kiss so she could whisper at him, "I'm close."

He said nothing, only kept his forehead pressed to hers as he continued rutting her into the messy pile of sleeping bags beneath them. 

"I'm so close..."

He responded by licking the tip of her tongue with his. 

"Cullen, I'm - "

He clapped a hand over her mouth as she clenched around him and arched her back, her orgasm spreading out over her limbs. Cullen responded by grinding into her as deep as he could and keeping himself there as she felt him let go too, his cock jerking inside of her. He threw his head back with a gasp and then, loud enough for half the camp to hear, he said one word:

"Fuck!"

He collapsed next to her and the two burst out laughing, unable to hold anything in anymore. One of the guys a few tents down swore at them and a few other people began to pipe up about the noise until Cullen addressed them. "Sorry guys, I just - suddenly thought of something funny - "

Juliet pulled the sleeping bags over them and the heavier blanket and tucked herself under his arm. Cullen gave her a kiss and added something only she could hear.  
  
"And wonderful."

He traced a finger over the arch of her eyebrow. The sex was intense but this gentlest touch also made her shiver. They kept their voices down now as they heard the others getting ready for bed or falling back asleep.

"Cullen. I have a question for you."

He traced her other eyebrow with just the tip of his finger. "What's that?"

"How many condoms did you bring?"

Juliet was delighted when he blushed and smiled. "Three. I felt like three was a good number."  
"An optimistic number. That would be one for every night."

His hand slid down her arm under the blanket, and her grin grew bigger as his hand landed on her breast and toyed with her nipple for a moment. "We didn't have a chance last night, which means - we could do it twice tonight. Just give me a few minutes."

"Are you kidding me?"

He was not.

His hand travelled lower under the blanket.  
  


* * * * *  
  
  
Juliet hated how quickly that last wind tower came together. She wanted something to happen, a patch of bad weather to hit them, or perhaps, someone could fall ill - not too ill of course - but sick enough to not be able to finish the work, and maybe they'd have to take him down to the nearest town and get him some help, and then further unforeseen circumstances would lead them to get stuck out here for an entire week. Maybe her car wouldn't start, back down at the base camp. Maybe his wouldn't too. But of course, people would find room for them in their cars, and down there, their cell phones would work. Juliet winced just thinking about that. A handful of days away from her phone or laptop meant she'd have a mighty mountain of emails to deal with on Monday. And Cullen would go back to being the executive two offices down from hers. She'd have to make do with watching him when he was busy, like all the other girls at the office. 

_You know, you could just have him whenever you wanted.  
He might want that too. You'd have to ask._

She shook her head at her own tentative thought as she cleaned off one of her camera lenses.  _No. The outcome is always an ending, and it always hurts in the end._

"What are you thinking about?" Cullen had appeared at her side, as though summoned by her stormy thoughts.  
  
 "Oh, just all the fucking work waiting for me back at the office."

Cullen picked up one of the lenses in her bag and looked through it from the wrong side. "Well, that's your own fault, you don't let us help you. You shoulder way too much of it. You don't even have an assistant. Even I have an assistant."

Juliet turned the lens around for him so now he could see through it properly and Cullen made a cute noise that made her want to pounce on him right there, but she controlled herself.  "Jim is not much of an assistant."

Cullen scanned the forest line with the lens. "I made him wash my car once. True story."

Juliet burst out laughing and it made him laugh too. Then he grew serious and studied her. "This has been - a really good trip, Juliet."

She swallowed, shy once again. "Yes, it has been." That morning, he had woken her up at sunrise and marched her deeper into the forest away from the campsite, and it didn't take long before she had her pants down around her ankles and her hands braced against the tree in front of her as he took her roughly from behind. She had been able to groan as loudly as she wanted and she had yelped with abandon when he slapped a palm against her ass and growled the dirtiest things at her. The memory was destined to make her blush for a long, long time. She had never done anything like that - ever. She had even refused to have sex with her high school boyfriend in the back of his borrowed car. This man made her do things she had never thought of doing, and yet he walked around their office often wearing a scowl, he could be so stubborn too, and stiff with visitors or outsiders. She knew now that that wasn't really him. What he really was was a passionate kisser, he could be playful and was loose with laughter around his friends, and after he had rutted her to her satisfaction, on their hike back to the campsite, he had made her stop to listen to two birds calling to each other in the crisp, quiet morning air.

Before the hike back to civiliation, the group took one last photo together, with Juliet using the drone she had learned to use over the long weekend. It hovered in front of them and took a shot of the ex-Templars with the wind tower behind them, and then someone asked for a goofy one. People made profane gestures and pulled faces, but Cullen chose to draw an arm around her waist and pull her close to gave her a kiss on the temple. Juliet knew this was the photo she would frame and give to him, and she hoped he would hang it on the wall of his office, and maybe even spend an entire afternoon rearranging everything so it was in just the right place, where he could see it every time he stood up from his desk.

They hiked back to their cars after that, with Juliet at the tail end of the team so nobody could comment on her sullen face and her unending sighs as her real life returned to her, piece by piece, with all its anxieties and disappointments. She took her time loading up her car, pretending the stuff didn't fit in her trunk quite right just so she could have one last quiet moment with Cullen before driving back to the city. She had to wait a long time but being patient had always been one of her good traits. 

"Heading straight back to Haven now?"  
"Yes, driving home and right into my bathtub for a long soak."

He stood in front of her, some of his usual awkwardness back on display. He watched a few of his friends pull out of the parking lot and gave them a wave.

"Listen, I - I'm going to just say this and you don't have to say anything back, you can just think about it."

Juliet could hardly breathe while he gathered his thoughts.

"I can do whatever you want to do, Juliet. I can make do with being someone you only occasionally think about. I know it's - 'not cool'. My few friends have always told me I have a thing for, um, _emotionally unavailable women_."

Juliet's thoughts buzzed away inside of her. She was now one of these women, women his friends spoke poorly of, women who withheld their feelings, parceled out their time - she wanted to speak up and defend herself but the words wouldn't come, they stayed trapped inside of her as he continued.

"I'm fine with thisbeing - something you control. If you want to see me, if you don't... when you want to see me, when you're busy. Just - "

Cullen gave her a small smile, a little forced, as he gave up his train of thought. "Drive safe, okay? I'll see you back in the office on Monday morning."

She nodded and took a step forward. A long pause unfurled between them while the roulette wheel of Juliet's choices spun around in her head.

She settled for the thing she wanted in that moment, and only in that moment. Juliet reached out, gripped a handful of his dark green flannel shirt and pulled him in for a kiss that started hungry and needy and ebbed away into something gentle and tender. 

She thought about that kiss during the entire drive home. It was still on her mind as she pulled all the accumulated mail out of her mailbox, as she unlocked the door to her home and greeted her cat, waiting to be fed near her bowl in the kitchen. She was still thinking about him in the bathtub, and while she brushed her hair out as she got ready for bed. 

That night Juliet dreamed of forests and campfires. She saw herself reach out for Cullen's hand before the two of them jumped off a cliff together, but she hadn't been  scared; in fact, it had felt like bliss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me at [The Templar and the Rogue](http://thetemplarandtherogue.tumblr.com) \- I reblog fan art and historical imagery that helps spur on my writing. Let's be fan fiction friends!


	4. The de Chevin Effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the plot twist. Hold on to ya butts.

The weeks after her trip to the Hinterlands were hectic for the entire Inquisition office. They were recruiting an arcanist to join the science and research division, building a shelter for mage teen runaways in Redcliffe, opening a new chain of investments in Nevarra to fund their aid work in the Western Approach, not to mention the hundred other things they were always up to in all the war-torn corners of Thedas. Juliet, Leliana, Josie and Cullen were in and out of the office for long stretches of time, only seeing each other on video conference calls that came to an abrupt halt when one of them lost the wifi connection. Sometimes Juliet would lie in her hotel room in Denerim thinking about Cullen, and that tent, and those nights under the stars and those mornings when she woke up next to him, but she could never bring herself to turn over, pick up the phone and call him or text him. And why? She'd ask herself _WHY? WHY NOT?_ as she waited in yet another pre-boarding security line. She'd raise her hands over her head as the x-ray machine swooped and hummed around her. Why not. Why didn't you text him last night? What's a little sexting between a boss and her employee? On a flight back to Haven, Juliet watched a couple sitting across the aisle from her in business class out of the corner of her eye. They were telling the stewardess they were on their way back from their honeymoon. Juliet rolled over in her berth, faced the window and put on her headphones. She had only been listening to their chatter for less than a minute and she was already sick of hearing about how lovely Antiva was this time of year. A chorus of bitter little voices piped up in her head.  _It should be you and Cullen, finding out how lovely Antiva is this time of year._ "Yeah, I know," she mumbled to herself just in time for a passing stewardess to hear her. "Ma'am, did you need something?" Great, on top of being fully obsessed with one of her employees, now she was being called 'ma'am'. 

Juliet returned to the office after three back to back business trips to find Cullen was still in the Fallow Mire and that her sky-high high heels and curve-hugging black knit dress were all for naught. She had to control the disappointment in her voice while chatting with one of his hires.

"What's he still doing there anyhow?", she asked Blackwall while dumping more sugar into her coffee and trying to keep her tone nonchalant.  
  
"The usual, coordinating water trucks and aid for those villages affected by all the recent flooding. He said it's a real mess, he doesn't trust the local authorities to handle things, so he's down there keeping an eye on the situation directly."

Blackwall gave Josie a glance when he saw her pass by the break room door.

"And why aren't _you_ there?"  
"I'm, uh, I'm keeping an eye on things down here."

Juliet raised her mug to her lips. "Oh really."

Blackwall mimicked her tone as he took a sip from his coffee mug. "And why are you asking so many questions about Cullen?"  
  
"It wasn't so many, I needed clarification. I worry about all my employees."

She could tell Blackwall was about to say something sarcastic from behind his beard but Josie reappeared, her cheeks flushed and a big smile across her face.

"Jules, I just got a call about our charity ball in Val Royeaux, I think you should sit in on it!"

Juliet groaned; this fundraiser was becoming a bigger and bigger deal, they were after President Therin and Prime Minister Celene to attend, plus a bevy of senators and members of parliament, not to mention celebrities and titans of industry. Juliet just wanted to show up to the party and drink champagne, the planning part of it bored her to death and it was Josie's job to make it happen. 

"Josie, come on, do I have to?"  
"It's Michel de Chevin. I've only been speaking to him for two minutes and he's mentioned you four times."

Juliet felt a tingle down her spine. Michel. He was an Inquisition contractor, a freelancer who did a lot of Cullen's sort of work but on the other side of the border. He had been trying to convince her to open a second office in Val Royeaux for years now, but Juliet was cautious about big ventures. Michel was also a flirt. With a fiancee. 

"Josie, just handle it, I've - "  
"Come along! Just say _bonjour Michel_ , and then you can be on your way."

She let herself be herded to Josie's office and waited while Josie positioned two chairs behind her desk so they could talk to Michel at the same time through her laptop. Josie sat down first and Juliet joined her, and the smile that Michel gave her when she came into view made her feel lightheaded for a second. She had forgotten how he looked like the mysterious stranger standing behind a waifish supermodel in a glossy perfume ad. 

"Ah, Juliet!   
"Hey, Michel, ça va?"  
"I am well, better now that I am looking at you, oui?"  
"Flirtatious as always. This is a business call, Michel."

He tsk-ed her in disappointment as Josie laughed, but out of view, she was nudging her with a knee and Juliet knew it was a sign to be nicer to him,  _flirt back_. 

"Is there something you wanted to discuss, Michel?"  
"Well, first, this big party you are planning, do you already have a date for it?"

Josie gave her arm a pinch, just out of view of her laptop camera.

"Oh, no, I haven't even thought that far ahead yet."  
"When you do get around to thinking about it, keep me in mind, eh?"

She got a second pinch but kept her face moderated. "I will, Michel. Now, did you want to talk about work today, or -"

"Okay, okay, I will keep it on track. I have some new patrons to introduce you to, but they want the usual."  
"Which is?"  
"The big, wonderful presentation from you, of course! It is my fault, I am sorry, I just spoke too highly of you I suppose. Your business instincts, your desire to help people. Your beauty. I might have told them you were ravishing."

On cue, Josie picked up her smartphone and flipped it over, pretending it had lit up and buzzed, but Juliet could see .

"I better take this, guys! I'll sync up with you later Michel, ciao!"

Josie swept out of the office with a playful, encouraging look and disappeared around a corner, leaving Juliet with him.

"Um, OK, well. Sorry about that. What were you talking to Josie about anyhow?"

He ran a hand through his hair to push his blonde locks out of his face and Juliet felt a strong urge to do the same thing to him. "Ah, in between wooing these potential Inquisition investors, I've been looking at some of these venues she's interested in for the fundraising ball. Josie is a very particular party planner. I have to do things like, go into the lady's bathrooms and see if they are, how do you say -  _gross_."

She giggled and he joined her and very suddenly, Juliet grew confident.

"Michel, how about this, I have some free time early next week. I can be in Val Royeaux next Wednesday as long as I'm back in Haven by Friday. I can meet our new potential financial partners, and hit a few venues with you too. How does that sound?"

He gave her another one of his dashing smiles and Juliet practically felt her toes curl inside of her high heels. 

"And will you have dinner with me, at least one of those nights?"

Juliet gave him a dubious head tilt. "What would your fiancee say about your invitation?"

Michel pursed his lips and did one of those head shakes they do in Orlais that mean  _what a shame_. "We decided that getting married would be a very bad idea. At least, getting married to each other. I miss Sandrine, but perhaps steak frites and a bottle of Burgundy with an old friend would help me feel better. So, what do you say?"

Josie reappeared in the doorway, her arms crossed and looking at her with stern determination.

"I would love to have dinner with you, Michel."

Josie put two hands over her heart and pantomimed swooning. She then mouthed the word YES! and began shimmying her hips from side to side, and Juliet had to force back her smile as they covered a few more details before ending their call. She closed Josie's laptop and then flopped back in her chair with a sigh.

Josie pointed a finger at her.

"You need a mani-pedi. And a haircut. And. Go get waxed."  
"Josie!"  
"Am I wrong?"

After getting some restaurant recommendations from Josie, Juliet returned to her desk, passing Leliana's office. The formidable woman everyone had poetically nicknamed "the Nightingale" gave her a glance as she passed and for a brief moment of paranoia, Juliet wondered if Leliana could read her intentions just by looking at her. Could she tell she was going to go to Orlais just to see Michel? It didn't matter, she told herself as she dialed up her salon to book a series of appointments. Yes, she wanted to see Michel. Yes, she wanted him to flirt with her. She wanted to remember that other men were desirable, and they would desire her back. She needed to break this lock Cullen had on her. They weren't in a relationship, it  was almost unfair how much time she spent thinking about him when they couldn't be together. 

The salon receptionist put her on hold to ask her stylist if she could cram her in this afternoon, and as though it was a sign, the music she had to listen to as she waited was Orlesian jazz. She smiled to herself, thinking of walking next to the Seine on Michel's arm. She wondered how his kiss would be different than Cullen's. 

  
* * * * *

A few days later, Juliet flew into the Val Royeaux airport with a sleek new haircut and femme fatale makeup and nails, rolling a suitcase behind her containing the precise amount of beautiful outfits she'd need to both do business and a little pleasure too. As soon as her heels clicked on the cobblestone streets, it felt like the day sped up. She checked into her modern hotel in the 12th arrondissement that overlooked the river and the rest of the city, chose her lingerie and put on on a black silk slip dress she could throw a cashmere shawl over. She pulled up her stockings and attached them to her garter belt. She never wore such frivolous things, but she was determined to be back here in a few hours to take them all off again.   

Before she could summon a cab, Michel called her. 

"I am downstairs, _mon cheri_."  
"What? Oh, okay, I was going to take a - "  
"It would be very rude of me to let a woman of your caliber  _take a cab_ when I could easily pick you up and take you to dinner."

A heartbeat later she was walking down to front doors of the hotel and coming to a stop when she saw Michel in a tailored dark blue suit, standing next to a fiery red Lamborghini. He was holding the door open for her with one of his trademark dashing smiles.

"Michel! This is your car?"

He gave her a slight bow and held out his hand to help her in. The car hugged the ground and they sped off, the valets giving them an appreciative look as they departed.

"I've never been in one of these before," Juliet remarked as she noticed people on the sidewalks noticing them.

"Really? I thought you grew up in the Free Marches, daughter of a Bann. I assumed you were given one of these when you turned sixteen."  
"We were - lesser landed gentry. 'Poor-rich', compared to some of my classmates. My father might carry that old title but he is a horse breeder now. We had a horse in the Toussaint Derby last year. He came in third. Bright Star."

Michel took a curve in the road with enough precision to make Juliet's heart thump, she thought he was going to hit one of Val Royeaux's Belle Epoque lamp posts. "Good to know! Next year, you must tell me who to bet on. And I want to hear more about the teenage Juliet."

They arrived at the restaurant Michel had chosen, a posh, elegant bistro that was one of Val Royeaux's oldest. He tossed his keys to the stunned valet and swept her inside, past tables of plotting businessmen bent over their plates and matrons with tight faces cooing at their second or third rich husband. The maitre'd lead them to a table for two nestled into an alcove, where they could see the rest of the restaurant but also have some privacy. Juliet accepted the heavy menu from the waiter and was about to open it when Michel stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"You might object, but - let me order for you tonight? I have many things in mind that I want to watch you try."  
  
Juliet put the menu down and summoned some courage. "You can order for me, but you have to sit a little closer to me."  
Michel didn't hesitate, he scooted his chair over, beaming at her the entire time. After he spoke to the waiter and got them two towering martinis, Juliet brushed her fingertips down his forearm.

"What happened with Sandrine?"  
Michel pursed his lips and shook his head. "Why talk about the past when we can talk about right now. Or the future."

"You said you had a few things in mind that you wanted to  _watch me try?"_

Juliet was being more forward than she had been in her entire life and her reward was Michel leaning forward to kiss her, three times in a row, each time a little deeper than before. He pulled back with a featherlight touch against her cheek. "Forgive me, I wanted to skip ahead a little."

Juliet squeezed her knees together as the first course came and the waiter began to ramble off what was precisely lined up on the their plates. Why did he order seven different things? They were not getting out of here any time soon but she wanted him. She was ready.

* * * * *

By dessert, Juliet's body was in an uproar. The food had been perfect expressions of Orlesian cooking but Michel didn't have that much interest in talking to her about any of it, by the third dish, he had started murmuring things to her about various aspects of her body he was interested in. She had worn no bra tonight and knew her nipples had been pointed right at him the entire meal. She didn't want a chocolate petite gateau, she wanted his mouth on her skin, she wanted to stand before him in her hotel room and let the dress slip from her shoulders. The little cake came and Michel grabbed a spoon and fed some of it to Juliet. Its sweet, heady taste matched the longing she felt for him and she practically sighed as she swallowed it. 

"We're almost done."  
"I know."  
"What we will do after?"  
"Some of the things you had suggested between the foie gras and the cassoulet."

They began to giggle together and Juliet was about to feed a spoon of the dessert back to him when Michel's attention turned away from her. She looked up at who Michel had spotted - and gawked in amazement.

It was _Cullen_ , bustling his way through the fancy restaurant, still in his old Templar fatigues and boots, looking dusty, tired - and very determined. He had a duffle bag over one shoulder and he looked like a soldier who had just been released from a tour of duty. 

Juliet watched in alarm as Michel's face changed and all the romance and seduction in his eyes filtered away. He stood up and grinned at Cullen as he approached.

"Cullen! My old friend! I did not know you were coming to Val Royeaux! Juliet didn't say anything!"  
"Hey bud, you look great! Haven't seen you since that dust up in the Hissing Wastes a while back!"

They hugged like old comrades, clapping each other on the back. Some of the other diners had stopped to look at them in interest, a man in uniform in the middle of of this restaurant seemed like a rare thing indeed. Michel looked down at Juliet, who still had the spoonful of dessert in hand. "Cullen and I worked side by side once, chevaliers and Templars, not that long ago really. Joint operation."

Cullen gestured at a waiter nearby who read his mind and was already hustling a chair over to their table for him. "That was supposed to be hush-hush, no need to tell civilians about it. Especially one who screamed in her tent when a few great bears passed by. Wait till you hear this story, Michel."

Chairs had to be repositioned so Cullen could fit at their two person table. He took the spoon from Juliet and jammed it into his mouth with a smile. "Oh, that's good. I'm starving. Sorry I'm so late! Juliet was supposed to text me the name of the restaurant but she must have forgotten."

She stared at him in disbelief. How in the VOID was this happening? How did he know exactly where she'd be, who she'd be with - 

 _Leliana_. She must have found out somehow. And ever since she had heard about their tryst in the supply closet at the Satinalia party, she had been Cullen's romantic advocate, always trying to push them together and enjoying the results of her meddling. Juliet couldn't figure out how she felt right now, watching Cullen scan the menu and then flag down a waiter to order a dry-aged steak and an entire bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon for himself. When he passed the menu back to the waiter, he gave Juliet a look that said  _I've ruined your date and I have no regrets about it._ _And now I shall tell Michel a very embarrassing story about you._

The three ended up at the restaurant far longer than she expected, as she watched Michel watching Cullen devour his very fine dinner. Juliet was even more puzzled that the usually suave Orlesian man seemed intent on impressing Cullen. He clearly respected him and wanted to tell him a few of his own war stories, tight squeezes, close calls, and some sadder stories, tales of lost comrades. Most surprising, Michel told Cullen all about Sandrine and how their relationship had crumbled because Sandrine saw her life as a long list of things to accomplish and Michel was behind schedule on delivering what she had expected. At this, Juliet piped up.

"Michel, you drive a Lamborghini. What was it you couldn't give her?"  
  
Michel and Cullen made instinctual eye contact. "Oh, Juliet. I rented that for tonight."

Cullen sputtered into his huge glass of red wine and Michel joined in too, making Juliet feel grumpier and grumpier. She decided to kick Cullen under the table and he decided not to pretend it hadn't happened.

"Ow, what was that for?"  
  
"Cullen, what are you doing here?", she fumed back in response.

"We're going to give the pitch to some new clients tomorrow and then look at some venues for your big party thing. You forwarded me the email with our itinerary. The one from Michel that was entitled, 'Belle Juliet?'"

The men snickered some more while it sunk in even more that Leliana had hacked into her email. Or, had done something as simple as nick her itinerary from the printer. The other day she had printed it out and was confused when it didn't appear in the tray of the copying machine.

"Ha ha, okay, yes, I remember now. Can you hurry up and leave now?"

Michel looked panicked. "Ah, don't be that way Juliet. We are having such a nice night."

Juliet thought she was going to bite through her own teeth as she watched the two men clink their wine glasses together. The bill came and Cullen grabbed it before either of them could look.

"Jeeze, you two ate a seven course meal? On the company dime?"

Juliet tried to reach for the tab but he swatted her hand away, making Michel laugh. "I wasn't going to expense it, I can pay for my own dinner."  
  
"My guess is you thought Michel was going to pay. You had two different things with foie gras in it."

She tried one more time to get the bill out of his hands but he had already slapped his credit card on it and held it up for the next waiter passing by to take. "I'm paying and that's that. I haven't seen 'Mike' in years and he works hard for us and he deserves it." 

He fixed his eyes on hers and in that moment the rest of the restaurant faded away. "You can pay me back later."

* * * * *

Outside at the valet, Michel's _rented_ luxury car pulled up to the curb and Cullen and Michel put Juliet on edge by discussing the various pros and cons of such an ostentatious piece of machinery while she scowled and waited for them to wrap it up. She had to yank on Michel's elbow to get his attention.

"Should we get going, Michel?"

She saw him look right at Cullen and wondered if the two were negotiating for her with just eye contact. This annoyed her, as she should have some say in the matter. The night was unfolding in an unpredictable way, and although Juliet found herself feeling frustrated, it was hard to deny she was also excited and curious about who would end up in her bed tonight. She watched Michel squirm before making his choice.

"I don't want to leave Cullen here in front of the restaurant, this beast is only a two seater."  
  
Juliet was on the verge of raising her voice. "So are you saying you're going to leave me here so you can take _Cullen_ to his hotel?!"  

Before he could react she could feel Cullen's hand on her bare back where her dress dipped low, his rough fingertips gave her the tiniest shiver.

"No need for any of that Michel. I'm beat from all the travelling, and Juliet and I share a cab.  We're staying at the same hotel."

Juliet saw the relief in Michel's eyes. She was no longer part of his agenda for the night, and maybe the flirtation had just been flirtation and nothing more. He never meant to bed her, he was just... being Orlesian. Juliet watched in a daze as Cullen and Michel hugged again and Michel gave her a friendly peck on the cheek before sliding into his car and zooming out of sight. Cullen asked the valet to get a cab and then he stretched in an openly victorious manner.

"I can't believe you're here. I can't believe you flew here just to - "  
"To what? Why am I here, Jules?"

She shivered and he pulled up the shawl around her so it was covering her shoulder. "You came here to specifically ruin my date with Michel."

Cullen took a step closer, his hands on her shoulders now. He leaned down so only she could hear. "He wasn't going to fuck you, didn't you see how quickly he gave up the second I arrived? He knew."

She looked up at him. He always looked better out of a suit than he did in it, and his tight, white t-shirt made her want to slip her fingers underneath it so she could feel the ripples of his muscles. 

"He knew what?" she whispered back at him as he stepped even closer.  
"He knew I was the man for the job, and not him."

Their lips met and she felt his arm scoop her closer, crushing her to him, tight and possessive. He kissed all the breath out of her and then pulled back.

"People are staring at us, Juliet."  
"So."  
"Good answer."

They kissed again, so hungry for each other after weeks of separation. Juliet realized how stupid it was to try to get this man out of her system as she savored the taste of his mouth, his roll of lips. He broke the kiss and smiled as the cab they were waiting for arrived at the curb.

"Let's go. Where were you staying again?"  
"Oh! Thought you knew, I thought you had MY itinerary."

Cullen held the cab door open for her with a jaunty gesture. "Come milady, your Lamborghini awaits."

She gave him a little shove before she got in that only made him laugh and as soon as they got into the cab he threw an arm around her and drew her close. Juliet told the cab driver the name of her hotel and as soon as she had finished, Cullen dipped his head to kiss her again, kissing like teenagers, barely pausing. All of her focus was on what his tongue was doing and what it might be doing later, until the cab got caught in traffic and Cullen stopped as abruptly.

"Were you really... going to... with Michel?"

Juliet leaned away from him for a moment, to get her bearings. She had the feeling the cab driver was listening to her too, but she had to answer.

"I, did have business in town that he set up. And Josie was encouraging me to go out on a date with him because she didn't know about, um, you and me. And, I went along with it. And it felt like a good idea because... I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"You couldn't stop thinking about me - so you made plans to sleep with another man."

Hearing it out loud made her feel foolish, and confused. And it made Cullen withdraw from her. The two sat in silence for the rest of the drive and Juliet wondered if she had come all the way to Orlais for nothing. The cab driver pulled up outside of the hotel and scrambled out to get Cullen's bag out of the trunk. Juliet got out of the cab and stood on the steps of the hotel while Cullen paid the driver, who suddenly had a lot of things to say to him. Cullen's brow furrowed while he spoke and then the cabbie gave him a good clap on the arm and the two men laughed together. The smile was back on Cullen's face as he approached her and they entered the lobby together.

"What was all that about?"  
"I'll tell you in a bit. Let me check in first."

She stood with him at the reservation desk while the imperious woman behind the counter searched for his information - and kept coming up empty handed.

"You say you made this reservation three days ago? Impossible. We have many conventions in town and - "  
"My assistant Jim made the rezzo. He gave me the confirmation number, let me look."

Juliet crossed her arms and wondered if Cullen was playacting this part too. No, she knew he was, Jim was so scatterbrained she doubted Cullen would trust him with a more important task like booking a hotel room. She rolled her eyes and took a step forward to end the farce.

"It's fine, mademoiselle, he can stay with me. I've got a suite on the 20th floor."

The woman smiled and lifted her hands off her keyboard. "Ah, a much easier solution."

"This is a business trip. It's for work."  
"Of course it is. Please call the concierge if you need extra towels, or pillows - or a cot. We do have those for such occasions."  
"We won't need a cot," Cullen responded, with a megawatt supermodel smile.

She grabbed Cullen by the elbow and lead him away. "You are so embarrassing, you know that."  
"How am I embarrassing?" he said, while trying to hold on to his jacket and his duffle bag as she pushed him through the luxurious atrium to the hotel's elevators. 

She pressed the button for the elevator and faced the view with a pout. Cullen stood behind her, pressing her against the railing slightly, his hands on her hips. 

"The cab driver told me this hotel was a little infamous because of its design. If you look carefully, you might be able to see into other people's hotel rooms as we go up - and often, you can see people... You know..."

Juliet hadn't thought about how the hotel was shaped like an X, with its elevators running up and down the center column that connected them. He swept his hands up and down her arms and kissed her on the shoulder.

Juliet squeaked in shock. "Did you see that!"

"What did you see?"

Juliet blushed as she felt Cullen nuzzle his face into her hair. "Um, well, the curtains were wide open, she was on the bed, and her legs were, also wide open, and he was just - you know. I don't know how you say 'going at it' it in Orlesian, but that what was going on."

"I'm sure these people have fifty ways to say that. Here we are, the twentieth floor."

Juliet lead him to her room and let him inside. Cullen dropped his duffle bag on the suitcase rest next to hers and draped his flak jacket over the back of the nearby sofa before yanking off his boots.

"Somebody likes to travel fancy. I flew coach to get here. Oh, Maker, you have a jacuzzi in your room? I've never had a jacuzzi in my hotel room."

Juliet kicked off her high heels, watching Cullen checking out the details of her suite. He walked to the windows and pulled the back the curtains, revealing a breathtaking view of the river below, and the opposite wing of the hotel where they could see into many other rooms. He turned around to face her.

"Anything good to drink in that minibar?"

"I thought you were tired."  
  
He leaned against the thick glass window behind him.

"Stop it."  
"Stop what."  
"Stop pretending you're mad I'm here."

She sighed, she knew it was true. She dug around in the fridge and found two small bottles of passable bourbon. She poured them each a little and crossed the room to bring him his glass. They clinked their drinks together and while Juliet took a tiny sip, she watched as Cullen downed all of his.

"Put your drink down. Right there, on the end table next to you."

She obeyed after she took one more sip, beginning to feel more malleable, ready to surrender.

"Slip that dress off. It's barely a dress. Just a piece of silk."

The window behind him framed him perfectly. She could see the wall of windows through the window behind him and it made her start to move in the opposite direction. "Let me just turn the light off."

"No. Keep the light on. And take the dress off."

She sighed and obeyed. With two shrugs of her shoulders it fell to a puddle on the floor around her feet. Behind Cullen and through the window, she could see the nearby elevator sweep by, but the travellers within were talking amongst themselves and didn't see her standing naked in her high heels.

"Sit down on the edge of the bed and open your thighs."  
"Cullen..."  
"I came all this way to ruin _your_ night - but _my_ night is only beginning. Sit down on the edge of the bed and open your thighs."

She turned from him to head toward the bed and could feel she was already wet between her legs. She sat down on the corner of the bed closest to him, fluffed her hair about her shoulders knowing he loved that, and then opened her thighs for him. He inhaled sharply but still didn't move from his place near the window.

"Open yourself up for me."  
"Cullen!"  
"What?"  
"There's a room across the way with its curtains open, they'll..."

 "Stop thinking about other people, Juliet. I want you to only think about me." Cullen pulled off his white t-shirt and waited for her to do what he wanted.

Juliet forced herself to stop thinking about the window and then reached down and held her lips open for him, baring her pussy to his gaze. He got undressed in a hurry after that, and her reward for being obedient, for being on display, was him taking three purposeful steps toward her, dropping to his knees, and pressing his mouth to her cunt. His tongue wasted no time, flicking her pearl from side to side as she grabbed a handful of his curls and groaned.

"Fuck, you're so sweet tonight," he murmured at her, peering up at her as he pushed two fingers into her and then bowed his head again to resume his work. Juliet stopped caring about exactly how many other people could see her through the window as Cullen drew little loops over her throbbing, sensitive bud, making her gush more of her arousal onto his face and his hand, soaking the corner of the bed beneath her. He pursed his lips against her, shook his head back and forth, slid and scissored his fingers in and out of her. He did everything she always daydreamed about when she pleased herself, his tongue responding to her sighs and swears instinctively. Juliet loved him down on his knees in front of her. It was where he belonged, and he was so good at making her feel like she melting all over. She was about to tell him that she wanted him to stay there forever where he would spend the rest of her life making her come over and over again, but he stood up, towering over her, his erection pointed right at her lips.

"My turn."

Before she could object, Cullen put a hand on the back of her head and stuffed himself into her mouth, and there was no denying it, he was delicious. Juliet rolled her tongue around the tip of him, and slurped on him noisily, before gripping him and stroking him while running her tongue along the bottom of his shaft all the way to his his balls. To her surprise, she heard him laugh above her.

"What? What'd I do?"  
"I think a businessman in the elevator heading up to the top floor saw you licking my balls, Juliet."

"He's jealous. And he should be angry he didn't see this." Juliet pressed her breasts around his rock hard erection and encouraged him to slide himself between them.

"You're crazy tonight, Juliet, mmm, I love it."

Juliet let him take his pleasure this way, reveling in how much he was enjoying himself, until she found herself flat against the mattress and tugging on his hair again as he sucked one nipple, and then the other into his mouth. She writhed against him, ready for more, but he concentrated on making her nipples grow tight by nibbling gently on the ends of them until he paused, propped up on his arms over her, looking down at her.

"I missed you."  
"You missed this?"  
"No. I missed  _you._ "

She was about to reach up and run her fingers down his jawline but she was quickly being lifted off the bed and carried over to the window again. He pressed her against it, making her hiss when her back hit the cold glass. He turned her around to face the view, her bare body facing the grid of hotel windows across the way.

"Stay there. Hands on the glass."

Juliet panted in anticipation, listening to him rustling around in his bag for a condom. For a moment, Juliet let her eyes dart around from window to window, wondering if anyone could see them. Six suites away, in a room on the same floor but on the other side of the elevator, was a businessman moving about in his room. All he had to do was pause and look out his window, and a little to the right and he would see her standing there, tits out, palms pressed to the glass, waiting for her lover. She didn't care who saw her, and it was exhilarating not to care. 

Juliet heard him coming back to her and then felt him put one hand on her back, encouraging her to lean forward. Without a second cue, she made her stance wider so he could work his cock into her from behind. They swore together as he pushed his way in, inch by inch, until he pulled out entirely to repeat his slow entry and then glided back into her until he could go no further. Juliet reached between her legs, wanting to feel where they were deeply connected, making them both hiss as her slippery fingers stroked her sex and touched his. She felt him begin to thrust, picking up speed until she had to put both hands back on the glass to brace herself against the onslaught of his persistent thrusts. 

"Ah, baby, so good, you're so good, you're always so good..."

Cullen grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled, making her cry out and arch her back. "I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll never think of Orlais again without thinking of me." He pushed her forward even more so her forearms were now flat against the glass and kept plunging hard and deep into her. He kneaded both her breasts while circling his hips, slapped her on the ass with a possessive hand - and then Juliet gasped. 

The man in the room across the way had spotted her. He stood still as he stared at her, his hand on the knot of his tie. Was he really looking at her or was he just facing in the right direction? She got her answer when she saw him take his hand off his tie and rub the front of his pants. She opened her mouth to say something to Cullen, but something made her stop.

Let him watch. 

Let him watch her get fucked so thoroughly it shook her all over. Let him look at her breasts on display, her nipples tight and still wet from Cullen's mouth. Let him watch as her first orgasm burned through her and she howled so loud there was no way the people in the rooms next door didn't hear her. She smiled, wicked and wanton, as the man across the way took his cock out and began to stroke it. To egg him on, she reached between her legs again and vibrated her fingers against her swollen clit. Juliet was swept away on a wave of liberating lust. She wanted to come again. She wanted the stranger to come. She wanted to see it and know it was because of her. She licked her lips and looked at the man across the way. They made eye contact and it made the man stroke himself faster as he stared right back at back at her.

"Tell me when you're going to come - "

There was a pause before he spoke that told Juliet Cullen was as wrapped up in the moment as she was. "What was that?"

_"Tell me when you're going to come because I want you to come all over me."_

She heard him swear as his thrusts picked up even more speed. "You're too much, you're going to make me - "

Cullen pulled out and spun her around in one move. Juliet dropped to her knees in front of him and watched as she yanked off the condom and spurted onto her waiting tongue and all over her tits. She swallowed and then smiled up at him with catlike contentment.

"Look at Juliet Trevelyan, who only keeps the top button of her blouse undone. Look at her now."

She took a quick glance at the man across the way. He must have finished exactly when Cullen had, because he was already cleaning himself up. She saw him give her one last hungry look before he slide the curtains shut. 

"What were you just looking at?", Cullen asked, with one eyebrow raised.

Juliet noted with triumphant glee that even though he had just climaxed, his erection wasn't going anywhere. She stood up and gripped him, making him close his eyes and groan.

"Oh, didn't you know? A man across the way was watching you fuck me. He took his cock out and stroked himself while he looked at me."

Cullen gazed at her, still ravenous. And he was hard again.

"Is he still there?"  
"No, he closed the curtains."

Cullen picked her up from under the knees and started carrying her over to the bed.

"That's a shame because he's going to miss what I'm going to do to you next."

* * * * *

The next morning the two woke up tangled in the sheets. When was the last time she opened her eyes and smiled at who was in her bed? It had been too long. And he was unreal. Cullen Rutherford, walking around her hotel suite stark naked talking to her in a carefree monologue as he got ready for the day, more than six feet tall, and as lovely as a demigod who had stepped off his pedestal. Best yet, he seemed unaware of his effect on her. 

"Jules, you've been brushing your hair for ten minutes."  
"I've just been looking at you, and listening to you. You get really chatty after..."  
"After what?"

He grinned at her as she blushed. They had probably only slept for five hours before needing to wake up and please each other again, with fingers, with tongues, she liked that he liked so many other things besides wild rutting, although he was so good at that too.

"Can you not be so obvious with Michel today please? I just know you'll find some way to rub it in."  
" _Rub_ what now? Juliet Trevelyan you are insatiable."  
"Stop it, I'm serious. Please be professional today."  
"I'll be as professional as you are."

As they met with the string of potential allies and investors, Cullen and Juliet were nothing but formal and detached, but when it came to checking out the potential charity ball venues with Michel, they dropped the act. Cullen held her hand or kept an arm around her waist, and while Juliet knew it was partially manly grandstanding, his way of signaling to his friend that they had been together the night before, she also welcomed it because it wasn't possessiveness, but pride. That night, they ate without Michel at a small bistro and afterward, they walked along the riverfront, stopping to talk and kiss. People always talked about how charming Val Royeaux could be, but she now knew - it wasn't the city, it was who you were with. He was the pure romance, he made her feel like a queen every time he looked at her. And when they made love again that night at the hotel, they kept the curtains closed but their eyes locked together, he pressed her hands to the mattress next to her, his fingers woven between hers. They weren't driven by the sheer lust they always felt for each other, but something deeper. 

Juliet fell asleep with her head resting on Cullen's chest, listening to his heart beat.

A day later they were at the airport in Haven, waiting for their baggage together and Juliet felt the same overweening angst she felt at the end of their camping trip, knowing everything would be back to normal on Monday morning. 

Cullen picked up her bag before she could.

"Juliet, I - I..."

While he summoned the courage to say what he wanted to say, she said something she longed to tell him. "I had a wonderful time with you again, Cullen. I'm glad you - interrupted my plans."

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away for a moment before looking back at her again.

"I want to spend the weekend with you. Your place, my place, it doesn't matter. We don't have to go out in public if you're afraid someone will see us. We can order in. I don't..."

He paused again. Juliet helped him out by stepping closer to him. Cullen reached out and cupped her face.

"I don't want to be alone tonight. Not after the last two nights with you. I just want to be with you."

He leaned down to kiss her and suddenly the airport terminal was as romantic as a street corner in Val Royeaux.  
  


* * * * *

They spent the weekend together. He met her cat. He cooked dinner for her out of things she had in her fridge and in her pantry. They did the Sunday crossword together, she introduced him to one of her favorite TV comedies and delighted in how much he laughed at it. He drank all her beer. She didn't care. In an almost childish way, she told herself she had trapped him here in her home, a place that had never felt empty to her, it had always been her sanctuary - but now it felt more alive with him in it.

It was a feeling that would come crashing down around her on Monday, right before lunch.

Cullen and Juliet made sure to drive to work separately that morning, but it was a lot harder to be pokerfaced around him, not after spending five straight days in his company, basking in his total attention. It wasn't too much of an issue, she had to wade through a lot of paperwork and follow up on emails and was mostly confined to her office for the first half of the day. Still, she made sure to look at him if he passed her door, her eyes always twinkling at him, and then landing on his ass as he went by. 

It was a normal day at the office, except for the way she felt every time she thought about everything they did together. 

It was a normal day at the office until Aurelie Lavellan made her dramatic appearance.

Later, Juliet would find out that Mademoiselle Aurelie Lavellan was a principal ballerina with the Denerim ballet, which explained how she moved like an elegant, sylvan creature even while she was crushing her hopes and dreams. All five feet eleven inches of her came sweeping into the main workroom of Inquisition Inc. just before lunch, with two security guards flanking her and arguing with her. 

"Miss, you have to check in at the front desk, we need to -"  
"I told you, I won't be long, I'm just here to see..."

She shrugged off one of the guards' hands and grew still when she saw Cullen, standing at Iron Bull's desk where they were chatting about a project they were working on in Crestwood.  Juliet stood up from behind her desk, watching everything unfold through the open door and windows of her office.

"Cullen?"

Juliet absorbed every beat of this moment. Cullen froze, staring at her in disbelief. "Auralie, what are you d-"

The impossibly gorgeous young woman had taken three strides and was in his arms in a heartbeat, pulling him down toward her for a kiss. Cullen didn't drop the report in his hands, but rather stood there, shell-shocked, until she pulled away. Juliet blinked a few times, still not believing any of this was happening, and then realized Leliana had stepped into her office and was at her side, pretending to also have a report for her but was reaching out to hold her hand.

"Who's -"  
"I don't know. Cullen looks as surprised as you. And angry."

Juliet watched as he handed his report to Iron Bull, said something conciliatory to the security guards that made them back off, and shepherd her into his office. By now, Josie had joined them, shutting the door behind her.

"Do you recognize her? I do! She dances with the Denerim Ballet, her face is all over banners across the city right now, she's-"

Leliana cut her off with a stern look. "Josie, not now."

Josie looked at Juliet, who had one hand on her chest and was sinking back into her chair. "Just tell her, Leliana." From her viewpoint, she could see Cullen and Auralie continuing their heated discussion but in the privacy of his office. 

"Josie, Cullen and Juliet have been... since last Satinalia. Since the office party."

Josie's face changed from gossipy and excited to crestfallen and sympathetic. "I, didn't... I...oh. I see. So this is not - something you expected. Well, it doesn't look like Cullen is happy to see her. And I didn't know he had a girlfriend."

Leliana paced in front of her desk for a moment. "Neither did I. In fact, Jules, I'm almost certain Cullen doesn't have a girlfriend. I keep a general eye on all our Inquisition employees. He doesn't date all that much nor does he see one lady for very long. And he hasn't looked as happy as he's been since the two of you started, doing what you've been doing."

Juliet didn't hear Leliana's explanation. She was too busy watching Auralie burst into tears. After a beat or two, Cullen drew her into his arms. She waited for him to look up at  _her_ , give her some sign that this woman meant nothing to him - but he just closed his eyes and held her. 

Juliet shook her head a few times, forcing herself to look away from him. Her eyes landed on the only photo on her desk. Her father, older brother, and younger sister sat on a railing on their farm, smiling with warmth and affection at her. The sky was a shade of robin egg's blue above them, and off in the distance you could see the familiar outline of their stables and ranch house sitting on the crest of a green hill.

"I - need to go away for a while."

Josie and Leliana looked at her in total alarm. 

"I can't be here. I need a break anyhow, right? It's been nonstop for the last few months and we'll have a busy quarter until the charity ball. I should step away now while I can."

Josie sputtered. "But, you can't step away, I can see your calendar from here, how are we going to - "

"Josie, we can handle it. You and me. We might even have to ask Vivienne to work on some of the Orlesian accounts, and she might welcome a break in her research for a few lunches with clients, and Cass can also help out. Of course, there will be things only Jules can help us with, but we can always - "

Juliet picked up her cell phone off her desk and handed it to Leliana.

"No, I won't take any calls. I want to go away."

She could tell her tone and her actions was truly beginning to alarm her friends but she couldn't pretend anything was normal any more. 

"Leliana, I'm leaving everything in your hands. With Josie and - " Juliet found she couldn't even say his name. " - him, you should be able to handle everything. Reschedule meetings if you have to."

"When will you be back?"  
"I don't know yet."

Juliet put her jacket on. She decided to not take her laptop either and only picked up her purse.

"Where are you going?"  
"Home."

She walked out of the office, never looking in Cullen's direction. 

Juliet drove straight home, packed a bag, put her protesting cat into a carrier, and booked a first class ticket to Ostwick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the only chapter from Cullen's POV. We'll have to see what he has to say about all of this.
> 
> Please follow me at [thetemplarandtherogue](http://thetemplarandtherogue.tumblr.com) on Tumblr!


	5. Two Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Switching to Cullen's POV for one chapter and you might think he's a bit of a shit after this. BUT OH WELL, I've never been one for FLUFF. This was just your prescribed dose of #CullenAngst! You take it! You like it!

He woke up on his own couch and it took him a while to realize he was not in his own bed, but he was home.

Someone was rustling around in his kitchen, banging things around. He blinked his eyes a few times and then Auralie came into view, leaning down over him with two cups in hand.

"Good morning! I made coffee. Here."

She thrust a mug into his hands. Cullen took a sip and made a face. She had always been hopeless in the kitchen. The coffee tasted like dirt and hot water.

"Thank you. Did you sleep okay?"  
"Of course I did. I used to live here, remember?"

 _Fucking surreal_.

That's all he could say to himself. This woman took one  _grand jeté_ out of his life four years ago and never looked back. He hated slang, but she had definitely 'ghosted' him. She had changed her phone number, taken all her things, deleted her social media accounts and disappeared, leaving him with no idea where she was or who she was with. Their relationship had been passionate and toxic. He had been jealous of everyone she spoke to and in turn she was untrustworthy and could lie to his face with aplomb, over and over again. After three years of this total absence, he had been in Denerim on a trip for the Inquisition when he saw her in an ad for Swan Lake that had passed by him on top of a cab. He made no attempt to contact her. He had spent a long time getting her out of his system, bit by bit. He had thrown himself into his work. And slowly, he transferred his devotion for Auralie to his job, and then his boss, who for so long didn't seem like she noticed, until he followed her to the supply closet during that Satinalia party. 

Juliet. 

He put his mug down and rubbed his head as he remembered how yesterday had played out, how he had hoped to speak to Juliet before getting Auralie out of the office but she had departed and left Leliana in charge and seated at her desk. Helplessness hit him in the solar plexus when Leliana held up Juliet's cell phone in its familiar hot pink case and told him not to bother calling since she'd be the one answering. 

"Where'd she go?"  
"Home. Just let her go, Cullen, let her have a break. You know how she is, she'll be back to business soon enough. Hopefully we can put all of this behind us -"

She paused and Cullen felt ice spreading out across her limbs. "- because we'd hate to lose you."

After that ominous exchange, Cullen took the rest of the day off and escorted Auralie back to his place. In the car she tearfully explained she had no other place to go, she had been thrown out of her ballet corps and she claimed it was because she would not sleep with a rich patron and now she was out of money. It was a story out of a hacky cable drama and he wondered if she had simply plagiarized it. He wondered if she was running from credit card debt, or a boyfriend in the Antivanian mafia, or if she had finally seduced the wrong man with a vengeful wife who had the means and the personality to make her life a living void. But it was very possible Auralie just wanted him back. There had been a few long stretches in their history of contentment and happiness. As he watched her poking around his condo, he could recall some of those weekends.

He also remembered driving to Juliet's place last night to bang on her door, hoping she'd give him just once second to explain, but he found her cozy bungalow dark and empty. He lingered long enough to make a neighbor come out to talk to him. _Hey, who are you buddy? Do you know what time it is? If you don't leave, I'll call the police.  
  
__Miss Trevelyan doesn't have a boyfriend, so I don't know who you are._

Fuck.

"You're not even listening to me! Did you hear anything I just said?"  
"No, I didn't."  
"Then I'll repeat myself - let's go away for the weekend, baby. Where do you want to go? The Coastlands? It's still a little cold for the beach this time of year - how about a little camping then? I know you - "

Cullen held a hand up to stop her.

"No. No camping. Auralie, what's wrong with you? You can't just show up in my office four years after you disappeared and expect us to just - fall back into place. Where the fuck did you even go? WHY did you leave?"

She fiddled with her long, elegant fingers, looking anguished. 

"Who have you been with?"

She took a deep breath and exhaled it, on the verge of tears again.

"Why did you come back?"

This was the only question she had an answer to. "Because I missed you. I missed us. It took me too long to realize how good you were, how we belong together."

Cullen dropped his head into his hands in despair. "No, we do not belong together. You lied, you cheated on me, you - brought out this dark, jealous part of me that I had to dismantle so I could move on with my life."

She sunk to her knees in front of him, pushing herself into his view. "Can't we let that be in the past? I want to move past it, I want to try again -"

Cullen looked at her. She was breathtaking, the kind of girl who could step into an intersection and expect every car to stop for her. She had the privilege of great beauty and often wielded it like a weapon, she could get waiters and cab drivers to do things they didn't want to do or even expected themselves to do. Men in bars would always buy her drinks, even if she was sitting with a date. One of his young nieces used to say he was dating a princess, and when was he going to marry his princess? These were not nostalgic thoughts, they simply passed through his mind, adding up like a list of details and nothing else.

But here she was on her knees in front of him, begging to be with him.

Juliet did not want to be with him. 

The contrast in circumstances felt like someone wearing a gauntlet had taken a hold of his heart and then squeezed it, but Cullen remained cautious. He was not the type to make big decisions on whims. He considered telling her about Juliet but something inside of him held back those feelings like a dam. It was like he wanted to protect his memories and feelings for Juliet, to keep them away from the poison of the past.

"Auralie. You can stay here for a while, but - I can't promise you anything."

It wasn't the answer she wanted but she wound her arms around his neck, slipped into his lap and curled up in his embrace anyhow.  

  
* * * * *

The next day he carved out a little time to call his oldest sister Mia. She remembered every beat of his relationship with Auralie and the fallout she left in her wake, she might have something to say about all of this.  

"Are you fucking out of your mind? She's in your condo right now? You left her in there with like, your important financial paperwork and your -"  
  
"Mia, you never found any proof that she was a thief. You just called her one all the time."

Mia sighed. Cullen could hear his nephews yelling and laughing in the background. "Maybe 'thief' was never the right word, but you can't deny she's a taker. She never gave you much in return - although, I know how you men can be. Cheekbones, pillowy lips, and a thigh gap in size 0 jeans and you all turn into imbeciles."

Cullen looked out across the office toward Juliet's executive suite. Josie and Leliana were in there bickering amiably with each other, but they both paused for a moment to return his gaze, although with a little bit of defensive hostility. He looked down at his computer quickly, pretending to click on something.

"What do I do, Mia? I can't just dump her out on the street."  
  
"Oh yes you can. Do it today. Cullen, you shouldn't even be around her. How can you have forgotten so quickly? I thought you were smarter than this. She's no good for you."

Cullen could hear his nephew Alex running up to his sister. "Mom, can I have a juice?"

She told him to get it himself but he claimed he couldn't reach it. This set off a quick argument about how she knew he could access the cookies in the top shelf of the cabinet, so he must have the ways and means to get a simple juice box out of the fridge. Cullen smiled but also felt a brief wave of sadness. He was ready to be a father, he was tired of doing so much business traveling only to come home to an empty house. He squeezed a fist shut, cracking his knuckles. You know what he had really loved was following Juliet back to her place. She had complained to him all the way from the airport to her home that her place wasn't ready for guests, and that her cat didn't like strangers, but - 

"Sorry about that, these freaking kids of mine. They're on summer break right now, driving me up the wall. Now where were we, OH, I know. Cullen - what happened with the other woman?" Then Mia dropped her voice like she was in the office herself. "The one from work?"

"She - went on vacation before I could explain. So here's my other news. I probably should start looking for a new job."  
  
"Oh, Cullen, I know how much you love that place, are you serious? Do you see? See what Auralie does to your life. She is destruction incarnate, from the top of her pretty little head all the way down to her fucked up ballerina toes."

Cullen rubbed his neck, feeling a headache coming on. He had left part of his heart in Val Royeax, in Juliet's hands. But despite everything his sister was telling him, he felt pulled in two directions - maybe Auralie had changed. Maybe it was kismet, her timing. 

"Where'd your other lady go? Can't you track her down?"  
"It's not a matter of figuring out how to talk to her. Her father owns a business in the Free Marches, it'd be easy to just - "

Cullen had tried earlier that day. He had called the Trevelyan Equestrian Farm that morning and hung up when he heard what might have been the voice of Juliet's father. He huffed another sigh. What had stopped him from simply asking, _Sir, may I speak to your daughter? The one with the midnight black hair and chocolate brown eyes and infinitely kind heart?_

Jim appeared in his doorway, holding four coffees in a carrier. He was turning each one of them toward him looking at the names on the side, and then Cullen saw his usual look of confusion spread over his face. 

"I better go, Mia, my assistant is here and it already looks like he screwed something up."

The sounds of Mia's bustling home quieted down, as though the universe wanted Cullen to hear what she was about to say, loud and clear.

"Cullen. Don't give up on office girl. And for Maker's sake, don't sleep with Auralie. I want you to use your head but also follow your heart. And then, no other part of your body."

* * * * *

For days, Cullen ignored Auralie's skimpy around-the-house ensembles, knowing fully well what she was attempting to do. Instead, he remained glued to his phone. He wasn't a Leliana in the spying department, but he had found few accounts he could consult obsessively. He checked the Trevelyan Farms Instagram three times a day, hoping to catch a glimpse of Juliet, but it was all business, just shots of beautiful Tevene stallions and mares set against the stunning emerald hills of the Free Marches. Cullen hadn't given up, and had combed the comments on every picture, and was rewarded when he found a playful back and forth between Juliet's older brother and younger sister. Now he could look through their feeds and hope to see Juliet, and best yet, the younger sister was on Snapchat and used the app all day long. He had to sit down and spend some time figuring out how to use it, but an hour later, he was gifted with a picture of Juliet at brunch. He fell into her personal life, piecing it all together. Judging by her family's comments, she was the prodigal daughter, her visit was a total surprise, but they were overjoyed to have her home. They spoiled her with her favorite meals, let her sleep in every day - but also put her to work when they could. He loved a photo of her mucking out a stable, giving her little sister the middle finger. His own finger hovered over the like button. Would Juliet's sister tell her right away, that some internet stranger whose handle was a not-so-mysterious CSR_811 was lurking around all her social media accounts? So what if she told her, let her know he was pining away for her.

Cullen held on to a simple plan he was formulating. Just get through her vacation, and talk to her as soon as she gets back. He could salvage what they had. He just had to find a chance for them to be alone. Whenever they were alone, it was perfect, it was primal and instinctual. The Juliet outside of the office was unguarded and passionate, sweet and giving. There was no way what they had experienced was ruined. Auralie did not have that kind of power. 

But maybe someone else did.

Ten days into her absence at the office, Cullen felt his stomach dip when he checked Imogen Trevelyan's snapchat. 

" _guess who we bumped into at lunch_!"

Cullen studied the photo. Who was this guy in his navy blue blazer, crowned with a mane of thick, auburn hair, with his arm around Juliet? And she was blushing and smiling in a way he had only seen here and there, only when she knew no one was going to catch them together. He hated to admit it but she even looked younger.

They were awfully comfortable with each other. It made him sick, sick, sick - 

"His name is Sebastian Vael. He's a rich boy from the Free Marches. They went to high school together. Or should I say, Ostwick Prep Academy. Go Titans."

Cullen looked up from his phone to find Leliana leaning against his door frame.

"How did you - "  
"Cullen, when you're not in meetings or taking calls you stare at your phone. I know what you've been doing. I don't blame you. Hard to control circumstances when they're on the other side of the Waking Sea hanging around an old boyfriend."

Cullen let the phone slip from his hands and land on his desk blotter. "He's her old boyfriend?"

"He was her _first_ boyfriend. But he's also a playboy and a twat with three Lamborghinis and a fifty foot yacht who constantly complains of being bored."

Cullen sat back in his chair, thinking about how Michel had to rent one luxury sports car to impress Juliet and now she was feeding french fries to someone who casually owned three of them. He knew she wasn't materialistic though - but also he did not know these corners of her heart. He didn't know her past, or what she had been like at the tender age of seventeen.

Leliana sat down in the chair in front of his desk. "How's Auralie."

"I don't want to talk about it. She's probably doing her nails on my coffee table."

He didn't wait for her snappy response. "I didn't ask for this, Leliana. I thought she was gone. Like gone-gone. I had moved on. I never thought I'd see her in person again. And now... I've lost Juliet."

Leliana's face softened but her words were not very comforting. "You never really had her, Cullen. Listen, I love Jules. I'd kill for her. I'd kill for a lot of people in this building, people she brought together. And as much as I encouraged the two of you to be together - I worried about you. She keeps a lot of herself behind a wall. You could read into it, maybe it's because her mother ran off on her family when she was little, maybe it's because she spends too much time taking care of others and very little time on herself, I don't know, I'm not a therapist. But - maybe the two of you were never meant to be. Maybe it was always going to be messy. In which case, I'm sorry."

Cullen wanted to go home, but he knew who was waiting for him there. He considered checking into a motel nearby just so he could be alone with his thoughts for three hours. 

He hated this, the waiting. He was waiting to find out if she was going to fuck this guy on vacation.

That night, locked in his bathroom, he looked at the photo Juliet's sister had uploaded. It was the bow of a yacht at sunset, and Juliet was leaning against the railing, talking to Sebastian, the wind in her hair and a glass of champagne in hand. Her snarky caption underneath the image read, "feelin like the third wheel all over again, last time i get on a boat with these two!"

He hated that he was sitting around worried about what she was going to do, when she was clearly not thinking about him at all.

Cullen got up from the edge of the bathtub and went out into the kitchen to find Auralie stirring a pot of pasta sauce.

"Change your mind about dinner? I can't really fuck it up, it's just sauce out of the jar."

Cullen surrendered. He sat down at the dinner table with half of a smile. "Sure, sounds good, 'Lie."  


* * * * *

She came home two weeks later and Cullen knew Juliet had gotten over him during her vacation. He knew by how she carried herself that she had truly relaxed in the Free Marches, and that she had been doing something with  _that guy_. He knew by how easily she smiled, by the way her eyes sparkled, even by what she chose to wear, more colors than usual and less of dark grey and black. He had seen it all because once he had been the cause of such behavior. But she had neutralized her memories of him, and he knew by how she spoke to him near the coffee machine. Gone was the slight blush in her cheeks, and her tone was measured and cordial but not overly familiar at all. Everything was truly "back to normal", at least for Juliet. 

After she returned home, Leliana and Cullen were having a meeting about some troubles they were hearing about near Griffon Wing Keep in the Western Approach. Fighting with militant mages was getting too close to settlements but the Orlesian government wasn't responding as fast as they should, and might have even been framing the conflicts as 'a local issue' to be handled by the regional government. Cullen was in favor of intervening, he had heard directly from one of his buddies in the area that something was wrong with the water sources close to the base, and children in the nearby refugee settlements were getting sick in growing numbers. Dire issues indeed, but Cullen was also distracted by how Sebastian Vael kept sending ostentatious bouquets of flowers to Juliet almost every day since she got back.

"He'll dump her, Cullen. He dumps them all. If she looked at his - "  
"I don't want to talk about it, Leliana."

She leaned back in her chair and watched Juliet fluffing up one of the bouquets while possibly talking to her new beau on the phone. 

"Then let's switch seats because all you've done is stare at her during this meeting."

Cullen made a noise of annoyance but honored her request. Leliana smiled and resumed the topic at hand, much to his chagrin.

"Cullen, just be patient. The entire thing will blow up and - "

Now that he wasn't looking at Juliet, he remembered what was also bothering him - the escalation of his "relationship" with Auralie. She had been nothing but a good house guest, being more thoughtful than she ever had been during their initial relationship. And she was going out to job interviews, or pretending to, he still didn't know and he still didn't fully trust her, but he was growing used to her presence in his life again. They spent last night on the couch watching a movie together, with Cullen spooning with her and shushing her playfully when she talked over plot points. 

It wasn't bad. Aurelie's focus on him was flattering. Was he being a fool again?

He knew the answer the second Sebastian Vael surprised everyone by sweeping into the offices of the Inquisition, causing Leliana to stop talking. His presence made everyone in the office stop what they were doing, it was the same entrance Auralie had made, but without the security guards. He had followed all the protocols downstairs, and was now being welcomed into Juliet's open arms. 

Cullen watched as he dipped his head to kiss Juliet, one arm still laden with three dozen roses.

He watched in grim disapproval as his other arm twine around her waist to grab onto her ass.

"Do you want to go home, Cullen?"

"Nah, come on. Let's finish up. And then I've got some other things to look over before I can leave."

Cullen went through the rest of his day like a sleepwalker, he forced himself not to glance at Sebastian escorting her from the office three hours earlier than she'd usually leave. He told himself he didn't see how she reached out to hold his hand so freely. He sealed off the part of his mind that was wondering if she would take him back to her place, if that rich asshole was going to reach back and hold on to her headboard as she rode him, just like he had not too long ago.

It was shocking how much had changed in his life in the last few months. As Cullen approached the worst intersection on his commute home, he realized that everything that had happened with Juliet now felt far away and unreal - but it had been the most passionate affair he had ever had with a woman. He hadn't imagined it, right? She had burned for him as much as he had? Now everything had a question mark after it.   

He got home and found Auralie standing in the kitchen. She wasn't attempting to make dinner, but she had already cracked into a bottle of wine.

"Hey babe. You look exhausted. Long day at work?"  
"Yeah. What should we do for dinner?"

She smiled at him weakly. "Sorry, I didn't feel like messing up more of your pans. I've fucked up so much of your stuff. I'll replace it all, when I get a chance."

Cullen shook his head at her. "Not necessary. And we should just order in, I - "

He paused, thinking about what it might be like to walk into a restaurant and see Juliet with her boyfriend. Haven was not a small town but he didn't want to risk it. Auralie tilted her head at him, giving him a compassionate look. "Are you okay? What happened today?"

He said nothing. She automatically let him walk into her arms and she made a sympathetic noise as he leaned into her embrace.

"I'll call the Thai place. You take it easy, why not just sit down and - "

Cullen held her tight, letting his lips graze against the tip of her ear before pulling back.

He saw the look in her eye, he had just done something criminally intimate. 

He had lit the tinder.

They barely made it through the first twenty minutes of the movie they were trying to watch, their fast food grew cold on the coffee table. Everything felt comfortable, familiar, the way she kissed, the way she held on to his shoulders, the look of helpless lust in her eyes as he pulled her tank top off and pushed aside her little short shorts. Auralie's whimpers and whispered pleas filled his ears as he pushed his way deep inside the core of her, but as soon as he had filled her to the hilt, he was no longer in his living room - he was with Juliet. It was Juliet swearing underneath him, and they were back in Val Royeaux, the curtains wide open and the city beneath them as they made love. It was her in his tent, muffling her groans into the pillow beneath her, it was her her writhing underneath him in the Four Seasons, it was her groaning in the dark the first time they were together in that dusty office closet. He gave every thrust to Juliet, to Juliet - 

With a gasp, Cullen came, and his eyes blinked open. Auralie was staring at him with pure anger in her eyes.

"Who - the fuck - is Juliet?"

His fantasies had wrapped around him so completely it took him a moment to come back down to earth and when he did, he came back down with a crash. He just did exactly what Mia had told him not to do. He had stepped right on the land mine.

"Juliet? Wh-"

"You just called me 'Juliet', right now, when you were coming inside of ME. Who the _fuck_ is Juliet?"

Cullen rolled off of her, and like countless other guilty, feckless men throughout history, tried to formulate an answer while pulling up his pants. He opened his mouth but the answer wasn't leaping to mind fast enough for Auralie. She got up with an angry huff, stomped down the hallway to his bedroom and slammed the door.

He sat there for a while, staring at the food that had grown cold on the table in front of him. Out of nowhere, he remembered something one of his commanding officers had told him, a long time ago, after a devastating loss to a pack of Tevinter operatives: Sometimes you fuck up to move forward. 

And fuck up he did.

For a week, Auralie raged against him, interrogated him, demanded to know where she stood and what was in his heart, and he could only respond with I-don't-knows and I'm-sorrys and in return Auralie would still not tell him a single thing about what she had been doing for the four years they had been apart. It didn't help that Cullen still couldn't bear to tell her anything about Juliet and the depth of his feelings for her. It was too hard to tell Auralie that it didn't matter anyhow, that whatever he had with Juliet had ended as abruptly as it began and he also didn't want to tell her it was her fault, even though she had been the source of so much pain in the past. He was tired of generating more pain, so he retreated and offered her no soothing words or calming lies.

In the middle of a Tuesday, Auralie disappeared, taking her suitcases and leaving him no note. It was the same way she exited out of his life before, although this time even he could admit he deserved it more. Only one good thing had come out of that last tortured week with Auralie - it had made him stop obsessing about what Juliet was up to and who she was or wasn't spending time with. He barely noticed her comings and goings at work, what she was wearing or how she spoke to him. He was too deep in the morass of his self-generated misery.

The day after Auralie disappeared, Cullen did two things: he changed all the locks, and then went to the office to meet with Leliana about that situation in the Western Approach. Juliet was at a meeting with investors in downtown Haven, but Leliana made an executive decision in her place, sensing that Cullen was looking for a cause to sink himself into, and somewhere to escape to. 

"Go ahead and go to Griffon Wing, Cullen. Take your best guys with you and see if we can be of any help stabilizing the area, and at least fix that water problem. Take as much time as you need, we have the backing of the Orlesian government."

Cullen knew she knew somehow that Auralie was gone. He did not believe she was psychic, although she seemed so at times, and he also didn't think she had his condo monitored. She just knew things from people's faces, their tones and gestures. And she knew he had sounded the retreat.

He packed up that night and left without a word to anyone else. There was no one else to tell.

 


	6. Oasis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Ladies, gentlemen, always use a condom please. This is just a piece of fiction!)

Juliet stared at the clock on the wall. She could hear it ticking as Sebastian broke up with her on the phone, before noon, on a Thursday, ten minutes before she had to hop on a big call with Alistair Therin. 

Juliet listened to Sebastian explaining his "feelings", how being with her the last few weeks had awaken a part of him he had forgotten about, and then she let his voice devolve into a mumbled blur in her head. She only heard bits about how great of a girl she was (girl?), and how if he was a better man ( _man_?), he'd dedicate himself to her. They'd settle down and become people like their parents, respected and comfortable. He just knew they had a future together, but he wasn't ready for it. No wait, he *was* ready for it, but he didn't want to move for her, and he didn't want to do the long distance thing. He did want her though, he kept repeating. It was impossible not to think about her every day, didn't she know? Juliet was at the point where she was just waiting for him to run out of things to say. She knew she had made a terrible mistake when she went tumbling into Sebastian's bed, she wasn't a girl anymore even though he had called her one. She had been looking for a distraction, and he was so breezy and easy-going, he hadn't changed much since the day they graduated and yes, she knew that wasn't a good thing. She had just wanted to be who she was, many, many years ago. Which apparently meant making the same mistakes she had made back then.

"Sebastian, I have to go."  
"Are you mad at me?"

She snorted, unable to hide her mirth at the stupidest question she had heard all day. "Are most women angry when you dump them after you've gotten what you wanted out of them?"

"Come on, Jules, please be cool. Don't be like - "  
"Don't be like who?"

When he answered, he sounded just like her old high school beau, the boy she had once known. "Don't be like the rest of 'em. Be better than them, because you are."

Them.

Juliet thought about the scores of women he had conquered before her, and she knew they were women who simply happened to cross his path. He was indiscriminate, he was a playboy, and she had been hurting enough to be his willing prey.

It didn't matter anymore, she had to get off the phone. "All right, Sebastian, whatever you say. I'll be cool. But I have to work now. I'll talk to you - some other time."

After Juliet ended the call, she wanted to spend a minute or two unfollowing Sebastian on every social platform on her phone, but there was no time. Instead she spent the next three minutes breathing deeply, getting ready to call Alistair about more aid support in the Fallow Mire. She always needed be calm when talking to him, because he was such a quick wit, but he could also get you to do something you didn't want to do before you even realized you had agreed to it. 

She closed her eyes, inhaled and exhaled and tried to clear her mind, but it wasn't working. She opened her eyes and looked right at Cullen's empty office across the way. He had been gone for almost two months now with minimal reporting back to them. 

Thinking about him made it hard to swallow. She wanted to just see him, but he was in such a remote area that they could only talk to him via his sat phone once or twice a day, and even then, he was often much too preoccupied. Leliana was worried the seemingly unsolvable conflicts in this corner of the world would lure him back to reenlist in the Templars. Juliet was worried he would never come home, that she wouldn't even have a chance to pine for him again from twenty feet away.

She'd never get a chance to apologize. 

Juliet picked up the phone and dialed Alistair's direct line. It was 2 pm on the dot and she knew he appreciated her punctuality because he was the much busier person - 

He picked up after two rings. "Denerim's Downtown Swingers Palace, this is Chris, the orgy starts at 8, how can I help you?"

"Alistair, if your constituents knew half the things you said to women on the phone..."

He laughed. "I have to do something to keep it interesting, this job isn't as fun as everyone thinks it is. Well, Juliet, what do you want me from me? I'm always sad you never call me up to say naughty things to _me_."

Juliet forced herself to look away from Cullen's empty office and focus on the conversation at hand. Get him to come to the charity ball, that's what's important right now, and not the man in the office across the way who was clearly avoiding her in the most obvious way possible. 

* * * * *

  
Juliet finished up her call with a triumphant hoot. Alistair and his wife agreed to attend their Val Royeaux charity ball that Josie was in the depths of planning at the moment, her office a whirlwind of lists and invitations and photographs of the Halamshiral venue. Jules burst from her office to share the good news but Josie could not be found so she decided perhaps Leliana would want to know. She looked through the glass windows of Leliana's office and saw her on her laptop but was too excited to knock, so she opened the door and swept in uninvited.

Leliana looked up at her in surprise, turning in her chair. Juliet froze when she saw who she was talking to on her laptop. Cullen and Leliana both looked like they had been caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing.

"Oh, I didn't realize you were on a call, I'm sorry..."

When Juliet took a half step backward, Leliana put a hand out to stop her. "No, it's fine, you should hear this. You were talking to Alistair when Cullen called and I didn't want to interrupt."

"Hey Jules... How are you?"

Her eyes met Cullen's, and the intensity of his gaze made it feel like he was standing in the room with her. He was thousands of miles away, in a hot, dusty, and unforgiving part of Orlais, seated on some kind of covered patio on the old Griffon Wing base, and over his shoulder she could see the craggy rocks and outcroppings that defined the Western Approach. Cullen looked tired, but still, so handsome, and he intuited she was studying him, so he sat up a little straighter and quickly ran a hand through his hair, which only made his curls stand up more than he would have probably preferred. 

"I'm fine, Cullen, but we're worried about you. What's going on with the refugees, what can we do to help?"

He took a deep breath and started in on the litany of problems refugees were experiencing as they fled the Venatori war front. Cullen also fixated on the young children in the camp, who were too young for such tragedies, they didn't even have simple toys to play with. On cue, a little kid in a stained soccer jersey sidled up to him with a coy look, not noticing or caring what Cullen was doing. He paused mid-sentence to dig around in his pockets for a piece of gum to give him and the child ran off triumphantly. Leliana gave her a quick glance when Juliet cleared her throat and looked away. He was such a kind man, and she had lost him, but there were more serious matters at hand than the ones in her heart.

"The conflicts nearby have intensified after Celene gave the OK to begin drilling for oil on Venitori lands. The last three water trucks we've tried to commission have met with - rather grisly ends. One driver was held up at gun point and his truck stolen from him, another hit an IED fifty miles from the fort, and the third one has disappeared completely, driver and all. The trucks are too conspicuous, drilling for new water sources is going to take some time, so now... I don't know what to report except people are going to die of heatstroke and dehydration and - "

Juliet stopped him. "We will get you the water. Guess I'm calling *two* world leaders today before 5 PM. If Celene's cronyism with oil conglomerates got these people into this situation, she can help us get them out."

"Thank you, Juliet."

His tone was so warm, so sincere, Juliet got a brief flashback to lying in his arms on her own couch.

"The next time you talk to Leliana, I'll have a solution to this, I promise."

He looked both relieved and moved. Cullen gave her the Inquisition's salute, a gesture that had been created a long time ago at the bar around the corner from the office. It had started out as a drunken joke and then over time, it became something genuine among her staff. Juliet nodded back at him, touching Leliana on the shoulder as a sign she was leaving her to the rest of her call. 

Two hours later Leliana stepped into her office just as she was getting off her phone with Celene.

"Well? How'd it go?"

Juliet looked up at her, forgetting what they were supposed to be talking about.

_"I'm in love with him, Leliana."_

  
* * * * *

The entire Inquisition office switched into high gear to help the refugees of the Western Approach. Everyone spent a few hours every day assembling ration kits and bags of supplies that could help support a small family. The mage division pulled long shifts putting together healing draughts and manufacturing their downright miraculous patches that could close up wounds on the spot. Juliet spent three days on the phone getting backing from their generous donors to buy palette-loads of bottled water and then it was decided, everything would be brought in via a small caravan, and they would go in with drone protection and plenty of muscle from Cullen's ex-Templars. They hoped being disguised as a random assortment of traders and local merchants would fool the Venatori forces nearby, who tended to hit bigger targets than a handful of dilapidated jeeps and trucks. 

On the eve of the delivery, a handful of Inquisition veterans met in the boardroom for one last briefing. Cass, Blackwall, and Iron Bull were going to be the point people on the mission, with Leliana as the lead, except at the moment, Leliana had her arms crossed and was staring down Juliet.

"I'm not going."

Everyone in the room froze.

Cass made her usual sound of disgust and threw her hands up. "This is news to everyone. We are leaving in eight hours! When were you going to tell us?" 

"Juliet is going to go. She's going to bring her camera and document what's going on in the Western Approach. We need the footage. These matters don't fix themselves with a few of Juliet's phone calls. We need the public to engage. Corporate donors may bring in the big bucks but the outrage of ordinary people can help fuel actual change."

Leliana's words hung in the air until Blackwall's sonorous voice chimed in. "If Josie was here, she would agree. I hate to use this word, but it's publicity - for our cause."

Iron Bull heaved a sigh of annoyance. "You're asking us to take Juliet Trevelyan, the most public face of charity and bipartisanship, _into a fucking war zone_. Listen to that sentence."

Cass was glad of the skeptical support. "What if she is kidnapped by the Venatori? She'd be a high-asset prisoner, but they've also been know to execute those when Celene didn't give them what they wanted."

"No one is going to get kidnapped or executed."

Everyone began talking at once but Juliet's voice won out. "Leliana, if this is because of Cullen and m- "

"It isn't. You're going to take your camera and make a short film of your experiences. Your photos of the wind farm project were perfect, and you're ready to take it to the next level. If we get your piece into the right hands, into the news cycle, imagine how many more people will step forward to become Inquisition partners, allies, _investors_. Celene and Alistair and every other world leader will think of you as a newsmaker, and not just a rich girl from the Free Marches with her pet charity project."

The men and Cass looked at the floor as Juliet let Leliana's words sink in.

"Is that all I am? A rich girl with a pet charity project? Is that how - the world sees me... How you see me?"

Leliana put a hand on her arm, making her look at her. "I'm sorry, I spoke too harshly. What I meant was - "

In a flash, Juliet remembered the faces of all of her old friends back in the Free Marches. They were all preppy kids who stayed near Ostwick, leaned heavily on their families' past investments and victories, and spent their days simply enjoying their lives. And yet, they seemed to treat her with a bit of condescension, as though doing good deeds instead of living off the fruits of your family's labors was something to be ashamed of. 

"I'll go. But you have to watch my cat while I'm away. No leaving food out and hoping she'll be fine. You need to feed her wet food at 8 am and 5 pm every day."

Juliet gasped as Leliana wrapped her in a rare hug, and then Juliet was surprised again when Cassandra stepped in to hug them both. 

Iron Bull cleared his throat. "Now that we've settled the cat situation, can we walk through the mission one more time?"

* * * * *

The caravan rumbled through the desert. Juliet rode in the back of a jeep, flanked by Iron Bull and Cassandra, weighed down by a bulletproof vest and flak jacket. Val Firmin was hours away and already a distant memory. Juliet took as much footage as she could of her journey to the Western Approach but then gave up when the highway disappeared and turned into an unpaved road, it was simply too bumpy for anything to come out properly. She had to make due with her thoughts which were of seeing one man. Would he be happy to see her? Did Leliana tell him she was coming? Everything had happened so quickly, and she trusted Leliana when she had signaled to her that this had nothing to do with romance, this was entirely about the business of justice and peace - Inquisition business. 

He was not happy to see her.

Juliet watched as Cullen greeted Bull and Cass first, and then turned to look at her as she hopped out of the jeep. The warmth and affection drained out of his eyes and was replaced with steely anger.

"WHAT - are you - doing here, _Juliet_?! Where's Leliana?"

Juliet glanced at her friends, who instinctually turned away when Cullen grabbed her by her arm and walked her ten feet away from where the caravan was being unloaded.

"I'm sorry, she... She didn't call you and update you? She - "  
  
"There's no calling and updating around here, Juliet. Comms only work every 90 minutes or so and even then it's a crap shoot. Why did you come here, don't you realize this is an active war zone?"

He still had his hand locked on her arm but she didn't feel the pressure, she was too shocked by his reception. 

"Did you come here because you thought it would be _cute_ , did you come here to see me?"  
  
"No, Cullen, Leliana thought it would be good for me to make a short film about the refugee crisis here, that we'd be able to - "

Juliet felt very small as Cullen towered over her and words tumbled out of his mouth, his golden eyes darkening with irritation.  
  
"There's nothing _cute_ about this, you could get seriously hurt. If the Venatori knew you were here, if they kidnapped you, do you know what they would do you? Do you know that Orlesian soldiers doing their perimeter checks here sometimes find burned body parts - torsos, arms, legs - you didn't think for a second what kind of danger you were putting yourself in coming here! You didn't think at all!"

He let go of her arm and she blinked back the tears she almost let fall. "Cullen, please don't be mad at me, I - "

He shook his head at her, cutting her off again. "You will leave in three days when the caravan rolls back to Val Firmin, and I cannot be responsible for your well-being the entire time you're here. You must never leave the base unattended, do you understand me?"

"Yes, Cullen."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. Juliet felt like a chastised child and it made her want to go back to Haven.

"So the caravan doesn't go back sooner than Saturday?"

"No, it's a safety issue. Sometimes it's a weather issue. Sand storms. They can last for days."

This was not how she hoped their reunion would play out, especially when she heard a voice call his name and watched his face change as an athletic young woman in light fatigues ran up to his side. Even though it was 103 degrees, she looked cool and confident, her white-blonde hair shaved close.  

"Cullen! One of the engineers wants to talk to you, they think they may have reached a breakthrough on the well! After all this time it's something simple -"

"I'll be right there, Gwen."

She didn't have a chance to ask him if she'd see him later, or tell him they needed to talk. He barely gave her a backwards glance as he left with his fellow soldier. Juliet felt her heart squeeze when she reached out to give him a playful smack on the arm as they walked briskly toward their destination.

She shouldn't have come. Even as her hand instinctively felt for the camera at her side, her only weapon in this fight against good and evil today, she knew coming here was a mistake. Juliet didn't see him in the mess haul that night, and after dinner, an Inquisition aide lead her to her tiny room while he told her it was a rare privilege indeed to get a bunk to herself.  

Even though she was exhausted, she barely slept that night. The sound of mortar fire echoing from the nearby war front was too close to ignore.

  
* * * * *

The next day, Cass decided she would keep an eye on Juliet during her entire stay until the caravan was ready to roll back to Val Firmin, but it was folly on her behalf, because Juliet made her the star of the little short film she was shooting. Cass was grumpy about it at first, but soon she opened up like a stubborn flower once she realized Juliet would also let her voice her opinions and frustrations about the Inquisition's many projects and how often the authorities were the ones keeping them from actualizing their goals. They explored the sprawling base and refugee camp together, talking to ordinary citizens, plus Templars, chevaliers, and the other charity groups stationed at the base who were working in tandem with the Inquisition. There were representatives from Mages without Borders and Chantry charities, and missionaries from as far away as Var Pollen. She knew Leliana would want  _her_ on camera a few times though, so Cass took a lot of footage of Juliet being overwhelmed by zealous children as she handed out soccer balls and granola bars. They followed her up and down the streets just to follow her, the little girls all claiming they were going to grow up and be like her, someone who did nice things for strangers. It was good footage, but it barely took Juliet's mind off of Cullen's hot and angry words from yesterday, and how he had practically snarled at her. 

At the end of their first day, Juliet found herself talking to a few women from a Mage healing unit. They remained in high spirits despite the rough conditions around them and the amount of suffering they saw on a daily basis, but Juliet took a few mental notes about what they griped about and decided she would send them a big box of every beauty supply they craved once she got back to Haven. Cass was a little disdainful though, looking good should take second or third or LAST place in such circumstances and told them so, and they all sheepishly agreed, but one woman spoke up to tell them about the only indulgence they could afford:

"There's an oasis nearby, it's just a fifteen minute walk south of the base. It looks like a pile of boulders and a few palm trees, but the water is warm and perfect for washing."

Juliet perked up. She could use a bath. She had only been here for a day and a half but it was rough going, blisteringly hot and dry. She half-listened as the women discussed how it was perfectly fine to head out there unescorted by a security detail, you could practically see it from the southern tower of the base, and when they went in pairs at night nothing happened to them. They met no boogiemen, found no snakes or scorpions curled up in their boots when they were ready to put them back on. 

As Juliet picked at her simple dinner in the mess hall that night, unable to find Cullen in the crowd, she decided she'd head out to the oasis late tonight. Today had been overwhelming, the sheer need, the amount of people they had to help, their desperate eyes, the weariness in the faces of a people who had to leave everything behind. And Juliet couldn't stop thinking about the contrast between her life and the life of a young mother her own age she had spoken to, who had to pick up her child and run in the night, knowing her husband was one of the dead somewhere on the front line. She didn't have time grab more than the clothes on their backs and as she wept on her cot next to Juliet, she asked her what was next for her. Was this her life now? A tent, rations from the Orlesian government, and some random kindness from strangers? She had said this last thing while looking at the bag of supplies Juliet had given her, stuffed with toiletries and non-perishable snacks. What was she supposed to do with this? Start a new life?

Juliet laid on her cot until midnight thinking about these things as the moon rose high in the sky. She then grabbed a towel, a change of clothes, and walked past the two sentries at the small side gate of the fort only the kitchen staff used. All she had to do was pull her hat down over her eyes and give them a jaunty chevalier's salute so they believed she was one of the brave mage girls out for a swim. 

She stripped down in the hot desert air and stepped into the small pool of water, submerging herself for a moment before coming up for air. She had all of fifteen minutes to herself to look at the moon above her and believe she was alone on this wretched planet, in this perfect slice of heaven, before she was interrupted.

Juliet heard a jeep pull up nearby and come to a screeching halt. She panicked, remembering she wasn't supposed to be out here. She pressed herself to the side of one of the boulders lining the oasis and lowered herself into the small shadow it created. 

She heard footsteps approaching, and then she had to hold back a gasp as someone shone a flashlight across the bushes nearby and then across the water near her, barely missing where she was hiding.

"Juliet?! Are you out here?"

Juliet swore to herself. It was Cullen, and his tone hadn't changed much from yesterday. She froze, not wanting to deal with him again when he was this angry.

"I know you're here, I'm standing right next to your boots and your gear. Get out of the water. Now."

She floated to the center of the pool and looked at him. He had his back to her. The flicker of hope that he'd take all his clothes off and get into the water with her lasted all of two seconds. 

"Cullen - "  
"Don't bother, I'm so angry I can barely speak right now."

Juliet sighed as she dunked herself a few more times and then pulled herself out of the water. Cullen kept his back to her the entire time she dried off and put her clothes back on, until she murmured, "I'm ready" at him. He turned to look at her, still scowling.

The last bit of optimism in Juliet's heart made her take a step toward him.

She winced when Cullen took a step away from her.

"We need to get back. I have to be up early tomorrow. We found out it was varghests nesting in the local water supply, and there's a contingent that wants to relocate them and another one that wants to hunt them and get them out of here and it's going to be a mess tomorrow."

He coldly lead her back to the jeep and they drove in silence back to the base. To her embarrassment, he marched her through the main gates and stopped to tell the guards there to let all the security details know that * _Miss Trevelyan*_ was not to leave the base under any circumstances, even if escorted. Cullen led her back to her room, all the way to her door.

"I think I can take it from here, what are you going to do, tuck me in?"

Cullen ignored her tone, glaring at her. "Stay in your room until morning. Stay on base until you leave. For once, listen to the counsel of others and not just how you feel in the heat of the moment."

That hurt. She always listened to him, Josie, and Leliana. They were her executive staff, she never made decisions without at least one of them knowing the other options. And here he was, painting her as  _impulsive._ She wanted to shove him, hit him, but instead, she had to make do with slamming the flimsy door in his face.

She laid down on her cot, clenching her jaw. How dare he speak to her that way. And how was she supposed to get back to sleep now?  


* * * * *

Juliet tossed and turned for an hour and then sat up. It was now nearly 2 am, in a few hours the base was going to spring to life and begin its day and she knew Cass was not going to let her sleep in. She had also learned from her quiet inquiries that Cullen was sleeping in a bunker of the base with the rest of the Inquisition ex-Templars. She had no way to know if he was watching her every move somehow, but even if someone had been assigned to keep an eye on her, surely getting a cup of tea in the galley wouldn't be a crime. She put her boots but didn't lace them, opened the door to her room and scanned the hallway. Finding it clear, she tiptoed toward the kitchen. 

She poked around the cafeteria for a cup and then went behind the serving area to look for a packet of tea. She ferreted around in the kitchen for a while, everything was meant to serve a small battalion and a simple tea kettle proved hard to find. She finally found one in a small supply closet and put it on to boil and then stared at it, now thinking about how hard the next day would be on only a few hours of sleep. She had to finish up getting enough footage for her short film, and she had hoped to get Cullen on camera talking about conditions at the fort, but clearly things between them had deteriorated to the point where he couldn't hide his contempt for her. 

Juliet let herself cry. Just a few tears, just two or three choked sobs, this is always how she cried when she cried, she could always keep it under control, even if it hurt much more than she expected it to. Everything she had worried about had come to pass, what they had in secret had now destroyed the work they did together during the day. She felt defeated, and even worse when she spent more than three seconds realizing the work dynamics weren't the truly upsetting thing, it was Auralie, it was Sebastian, it was the entire mess of all of it that was making her cry in earnest. 

The kettle began to whistle and she grabbed the handle without thinking. She pulled back with a start - and then spun around when she felt the presence of someone standing behind her. 

Cullen reached forward to turn the stove off, standing close to her now. There was only a little light coming in a tiny corner window, and she couldn't quite parse his expression, but she kept very still, not sure if he was livid with her once again. Juliet swallowed and quickly wiped a tear off her face. 

"I'm sorry, I know you said not to leave my room, but I'm not a child, and I'm safe here on base, and - "  
  
Cullen cut her off. "I can't..."

He paused, his face unreadable.  
  
"Y-you can't...?"  
  
He stepped closer. Juliet could hear the kettle quieting down and the wind outside. And his breathing. 

"I can't be cruel to you."

She trembled and sighed when he gathered her in his arms and kissed her, starting out gentle and then growing more demanding. Cullen broke the kiss for a moment, his lips still so close to hers.

"Did you come here to see me?"  
"Yes."

He groaned as she brushed her lips against his, cueing him to go back to kissing her, and he took the hint. She felt relieved being with him again, she ran a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck, let another hand wander under his t-shirt to feel for the hard muscle there. His hands went everywhere too, but he was moving even faster than her. She felt him slip the shoulder of her tank top off, exposing one of her breasts and cupping it in his hands. He moaned before dipping his head to kiss a path south, and Juliet hissed with delight as he looped the tip of his tongue around her nipple. Juliet had to grab a handful of his hair to draw him back to her lips and try to get him to slow down, but he was clearly hungry for her, his kisses were bruising, his grip on her flesh was demanding and needy. 

"Cullen, not here - "  
"Yes here - "  
"Let's go back to my room - "  
"I need you now, right here. I've waited too long."

Before she could object, he scooped her up and carried her over to one of the cafeteria tables and sat her down on the edge. She watched his determined face as he messily removed her clothes, pulling and dropping things aside until she only had her tank top on. With a curl of his lip he pulled the other shoulder down so both her breasts were out and now she sat before him, legs spread and exposed. He pushed his pants and boxers down and Juliet stared as he stroked himself a few times, just looking at her, eyes ablaze. 

"I'm not prepared tonight. Are you?"  
  
Juliet knew what he was talking about, but she didn't care. She shook her head at him as she grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. "Don't worry about it."

"Are you - "

She put a hand on his arm and looked him in the eye. "I'm telling you it doesn't matter."

She stared back at him studying her, and she could see the slight change in his eyes as he realized what she was saying to him. Even though they hadn't spoken about the events that had recently divided them and hurt them both, she still wanted him without judgment, she maybe even wanted his child - she would welcome that child. She would take everything he would give her - and it was pure pleasure to feel his hot, hard flesh sliding into hers, a sensation crowned by his leaning forward to kiss her again as he filled her up. 

It wasn't Val Royeaux, or a mountaintop forest, it was a creaky dining table in the Griffon Wing Keep cafeteria, and Juliet didn't care. She wrapped her legs around him as he thrusted into her, one arm wrapped around her to support her, the other hand braced against the table so he could give her all the power in his hips. She murmured "baby" at him, he whispered back at her that he liked that, call him that again. He rasped into her ear, "I need you, I need you all the time" as she had no choice but to dig her nails into his his shoulders as he pushed every inch of himself deep into her. He let her go and she laid back on the table behind her, spread out before him, reaching her arms overhead as she luxuriated in the emphatic rutting he was giving her. 

A little wave of mirth broke over her that made Cullen pause. "Someone's going to walk in here, Cullen, I just know it."

He gave her a grin that made her heart beat even faster. "Probably. If I remember correctly, you don't mind strangers seeing you come." He went back to gliding in and out of her, now looking down at where his manhood was pushing into her. He made fiery eye contact with her as his fingers began to play with her most sensitie flesh, making her jerk and squirm underneath him. He began to pump in and out of her faster as he took control of her pleasure and she surrendered to him, lifting one of her legs so it were pressed against his chest, her hips tilted toward him just the right angle. They didn't speak again after that, it was nothing but how they felt to be together again, it was his eyes boring into hers, that curl of his scarred lip that always made her feel like liquid on the inside. Cullen's fingers stimulated her faster and faster until she was grabbing on to his arms and crying out, trying to scoot away from him when the climax overwhelmed her, but he hung on until he joined her with a satisfied grunt and an almost melancholy moan. As Juliet caught her breath, she felt his cock jerking deep inside her, filling her with his seed.

She would never forget how they were interrupted. 

A bomb dropped nearby, close enough to shake the walls of the old fort around them. 

"Cullen!"  
"Get dressed, hurry."

She obeyed him, breathlessly pulling all her clothes back on while watching him to do the same. She then followed him out into the hallway where fort personnel were already dashing back and forth. He began to run deeper into the fray and Juliet tried to keep up with him until he stopped abruptly and turned around.

"Go back to your room and wait for Cass. We're going to get you out of here."

"No! I don't want to leave, I want to help you!"

"Juliet! You don't know what's - "

A second bomb detonated even closer than the last, and now the yelling was cut through with screams from one end of the base. She grabbed onto his arm, as hard as he had when he greeted her the other day, determined to not let go.

"Cullen, I won't leave your side, I -"

She felt strong hands pulling her in the opposite direction of Cullen, who didn't say anything else - he only gave her a sad shake of his head. She watched as he disappeared into a group of Inquisition ex-Templars and didn't give her a second look. 

Juliet realized it was Iron Bull holding her back and dragging her back to her room.

"OK kiddo, you had your dramatic goodbye, now we're going to get you out of here. We've radioed for extraction, you're gonna get on a helicopter and get back to the capital and have a long bath in a four star hotel."

"But - "  
"No buts, let us do our work here. We know what you're good at, getting the money, making the calls, putting the plans together, making decisions. Evacuating an entire base and a refugee camp is not in your purview."

Less than an hour later, she was on the helicopter with her gear, leaving her friends behind, feeling angrier than she had felt in a long time. She knew they had sent her home to keep her safe, to keep the Inquisition going, but she could only fixate on the fact that they could die and she'd be helpless to do anything about it. She had no power to seek revenge, she couldn't truly do anything about these global conflicts. She was a bandaid, the work she did was important but not vital - her friends and employees would lead families out of danger and tend to their needs wherever they ended up setting up a new camp, but they didn't need her.

He didn't need her.

After the helicopter took her back to Val Fermin, she waited a few hours to get onto a plane back to Haven. She, Leliana and Josie waited for days to hear any updates from the warfront - they had to make due with what the news reported to them, which was very little. They finally received word from the Orlesian army that half the Inquisition staff was staying at Griffin Wing to assist the refugees who hadn't fled after the recent attack, the other half of them would be home in a day. Jules, Leliana and Josie were joined by Dorian at the airport, who had been very salty about Iron Bull being away this long, and Josie was still trying to pretend none of them knew about her and Blackwall secretly dating.

"I wish you'd drop it, Josie. We all know." 

Josie paused in the middle of applying her lipstick in a compact mirror. "You...?"

Dorian, Leliana and Juliet all responded at the same time. "We all know!"

She blushed and straightened her hair. "Well, if you don't have a problem with it."

Juliet clenched her jaw and looked away, knowing Leliana could feel her frustration. "No need to hide. We all think it's sweet."

Yes, it was sweet when Josie ran into Blackwall's waiting arms, and Dorian flung himself into Iron Bull's embrace. Juliet had to make do with giving Cass a hug. Cullen had not returned, he had decided to stay at the fort, for Maker knows how long.

They all went out to dinner after leaving the airport, and Juliet drank down three margaritas while wondering if and when Cullen would come back to the office. While she drank a fourth glass, the bitter realization dawned on her that Cullen did truly care about his job, more than he cared about the status (or non-status) of their relationship. She had hired him for that steadfast attitude, never knowing things would eventually become complicated between the two of them. 

He was a good man, but he was not her man. Maybe he never would be. Her life would roll forward with or without him.

Juliet tuned back into the conversation happening around her. Josie was chirping away about how Juliet needed a ball gown for the Val Royeaux charity event, the Orlesians liked to get old fashioned for these sorts of things. She would need a corset, a bustle, she would look like an empress in an oil painting by the time she was done with her.

Juliet smiled, and ordered another drink.


	7. Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go after this and of course I had to go and make it worse.

Juliet was in the back of a cab in Lydes, ignoring the scenery while taking a phone call and answering an email on her laptop. She noticed the driver looking at her in his rear view mirror whenever he had a chance, and sometimes it was a look of curiosity and sometimes he seemed worried. When they got stuck in a patch of traffic and she had wrapped up her call, she gently asked him if something was the matter.

"You are her, are you not?"

Juliet huffed a little sigh under her breath. She was still getting used to "being famous", the footage she had cut together of refugee life at Griffon Wing Keep went viral after the Venatori surprise attack and even though she had only been in a third of the video, once the public had gotten a good look at her, they wanted more of her. Progressive do-gooders had always known who she was, but now that her footage was being played on the evening news from coast to coast, the rest of the public had become fascinated by her. Women wanted to know what she put in her hair. Men had gone through her Instagram and left lascivious comments on her vacation photos. Cass had technically been in the video just as much and was experiencing similar effects from her presence in the footage, but her utter lack of any social media footprint OR interest in what people thought of her made her immune to the attention. Juliet’s story was also being played as "aristocrat puts aside her title in the service of others" which made her feel funny. Nobody had called her "Lady Trevelyan" - ever. And now she had a feeling this cabbie was ten seconds away from doing so.

She responded in her broken Orlesian. "Yes, it's me."

She held her breath as he plowed through a light about to turn red, but kept his eyes on her, one hand on his heart.  "You are - a good woman. Good heart."

Juliet didn't know how to tell him to please look at the road in front of him so instead she kept thanking him and saying everything was fine. When he dropped her off at the tailor's, he tried to tell her she didn't to pay for the ride but she insisted, and overtipped him for his kindness. 

Josie was waiting for her at the front door. “You’re late! Madame de Volant is very in demand this week and she knows your dress will be the center of attention!“

Juliet tried to sass her back about how it should matter who was wearing the dress, and not to stress her out while she had actual Inquisition business on her mind, but it was too late, the second she had stepped into the elegant salon she ceased to be important. A young assistant took everything out of her hands and another one pulled the suit jacket off her back. Before she could even respond to Josie, they were all being herded into the fitting room of this reputable tailor who still made frocks in formal, old-fashioned Orlesian styles. Juliet didn’t even have a chance to say hello to Leliana, who was seated on a chaise lounge with a glass of champagne in hand, when a petite woman in a severe black bob came entered the room and all the assistants came to a respectful halt. Madame de Volant had spectacles perched on the end of her nose and a pincushion attached to her wrist by a brocade strap and a permanently icy look on her face. She blinked at Juliet a few times.

“This is she?”

Josie responded in her practiced Orlesian. “This is Lady Trevelyan, yes.”

“She is shorter than I expected.”

Juliet piped up. “Tell her everyone says that.”

Josie gave her a stern look, “I will do no such thing.”

The woman began measuring Juliet's every dimension, turning her from a human being into a 3D object that needed a dress. Every one in a while, the woman tutted in displeasure and made asides to her assistants, and then things got went from dull to worse. Juliet was asked to leave the room, undress fully, including her modern underwear, and come back into the fitting room in bloomers and a corset. One of Madame de Volant's assistants gave her stays a good hard pull, making Juliet gasp for breath and her breasts rise up into two soft mounds.

"Jeeze," Juliet muttered to herself, looking in the mirror at her new silhouette as the strange structural underpinnings of her ballgown were added on top of the corset. Leliana and Josie giggled from their place on the chaise lounge, now a bottle deep into the champagne Juliet was not allowed to sample during the fitting.

She was standing there in all this odd business when Cullen was escorted into the salon by a flustered tailor's assistant. 

Josie darted to her feet, spilling a little bubbly on herself in the process. "Cullen, I told you I'd meet you at the hotel."

Cullen and Juliet stared at each other. The last time she had seen him had been in that chaotic hallway in Griffon Wing Keep. He had not been back to the office since then; after the situation had stabilized at the fort, he had spent the last few weeks working remotely from all over Thedas. Juliet knew he was avoiding her but in these days leading up to the charity ball, it would be impossible not to bump into each other. 

She chose to look away from him while he spoke to Josie, focusing on her image in the mirror.

"These documents got faxed to the hotel while you were out, they seem sort of urgent, something about the catering and some problem at the venue. Who faxes in this day and age? I decided it seemed important enough to, um, bring them over here."

Josie and Leliana read through the papers together, tittering away but Juliet didn't tune into what was or was not falling apart at the Halamshiral venue. She focused on calming her heartbeat and watching the two girls fussing and adjusting the panniers of her ballgown. 

"Hey Jules."  
"Cullen."

Another girl came in with a pair of 17th century heels, in aqua blue brocade. Juliet meekly stepped into them so they could buckle them.

"How... How are you?"

She looked at him now. She could tell his nonchalant tone was hiding something else, and as her heart skipped a beat she realized what it was. He remembered what had happened the last time they were together,  _how_ they were together, but this was no place to tell him she had taken a pregnancy test as soon as she had gotten back to Haven and it had been negative. And if she had to tell the truth, she had been so disappointed she went out and bought a second one, just to be sure.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking."

She knew it was wrong to bring a baby into the world just to keep a man in your life, but she had wanted both of them so badly in that stolen moment in Griffin Wing Keep. There was no denying it now, this  _thing_ between the two of them was making her feel desperate and irrational.

Maybe it had been better when he had been working from the other side of the continent. 

Their conversation had been stilted enough, but it came to an utter halt when the tailor's helpers reentered with an ornate frock, all ruffles and layers. Juliet lifted her arms straight up while they dropped it over her, and when it settled onto her body, she heard Cullen asking Leliana a question that made her heart squeeze, under all the lace and silk and the tight, tight corset.

"Were you able to get me that extra ticket? Gwen is so excited to come to the ball."

Juliet did what she always did when confronted with a knifepoint of pain like the one she felt right now, pressing into her body. She tuned out the rest of their conversation. Instead, she focused on the girls tying up the various ribbons and adjusting her dress until she looked like an Orlesian countess. One of the girls gave her a piece of silk for her hair so she could tie it back and the effect would be complete.

She heard Cullen tell Josie and Leliana that he had to go, he and Michel de Chevin had their own errands to run. Juliet finally looked down at him when she felt his eyes on her.

"You look stunning, Juliet - although I imagined you in..."

Every woman in the room, including Madame de Volant, held their breath while Cullen studied her.

"Emerald green. I'll see you ladies later."

He made a quick exit and everyone almost sighed in relief. Cullen had a way of coming into a room and filling it with his masculine energy, and now that he was gone, it was back to hemlines and ruffles.

Madame de Volant clapped her hands together, making her assistants stand at attention.

"Go get me the emerald brocade. The gentleman is correct, this color is not right."

* * * * *

Juliet paced in her hotel room. Cullen was bringing a date to the ball tomorrow night. Her ball. Her event. They were set to raise millions of dollars and while a corner of her head was already thinking about how they'd use the money in war torn Orlais, she was also obsessing about Cullen and Gwen, his soldier girl from the refugee camp. Her head tallied up long lists of questions with no answers - was he with her at Griffon Wing Keep? Was  _Juliet_  the other woman? How long had they been seeing each other? Is she the reason he'd been so distant at work lately? How serious could they be in the month or two they'd known each other? Did SHE know about HER?

Juliet knew she was failing the Bechdel test at that very moment and felt foolish about her own thoughts and feelings. She was being irrational. It wasn't important. Center and refocus. Cullen Stanton Rutherford is your employee and nothing else.

She picked up her cell phone and made a decision. There was only one person she knew personally who could cough up the $30,000 for the charity ball ticket. She told herself if he didn't answer, then she wouldn't leave a voice mail. If he didn't answer, it'd be a sign - 

"Juliet! Wow, I - didn't think I'd hear from you for a long time..."

Sebastian had answered on the first ring. And he sounded blown away to hear from her. In the pause that followed his greeting, he grew concerned and Juliet felt her anxieties melt away - just a little.

"Babe? Is everything okay? Did something happen, can I help somehow?"

She had a choice here. She could tell him the truth, that she just needed someone there next to her so she didn't walk into the ball alone. Or she could tell him the truth under that truth, that even when she and Sebastian were together she had been thinking of this other man that entire time, Sebastian had been the bandaid, the quick and easy fix - and she needed him like that again. 

Or she could appeal to his vanity. Juliet loved short cuts.

"Sebastian, I need a handsome man with lots and _lots_ of money to come to a charity event with me tomorrow night and be very charming and rescue me from dull conversations and make the man with the tray of champagne stop and give me a glass whenever mine is empty."

He laughed and it made her feel good - but then he stopped, a little too abruptly.

"Jules, the way we - the last time we talked, that... Our status, are we on the same page?"

Juliet thought about how she was inviting him to a function where there would be plenty of women on display and many of them would probably recognize him or his name and that the hope that he'd stay by her side the entire night would probably be a futile one. But she didn't want to walk in alone, that was all. 

"Just be discreet, if you're going to ditch me."  
"I'll stay by your side as long as I can, but if Celene herself wants to take me around the corner and have her way with me - "

Jules snorted. "'Take you around the corner and have her way with you?' You're going to have to be more eloquent than that to get a queen to drop her bloomers for you."

Sebastian waited for her to stop laughing and then paused even longer before finally saying: "What. Are fucking bloomers?"

"Look it up, dust off your tuxedo, and then get on the family plane and get your ass to Lydes. The ball is tomorrow night!"  
  


* * * * *  
  
  
The Orlesians loved a spectacle, they loved a good  _theme_ , they threw themselves into the spirit of the thing which meant that Juliet couldn't just arrive in a hired car, they wanted her to step out of an actual horse drawn carriage like she would have as Lady Trevelyan, hundreds of years ago. The night hadn't even started yet and Juliet was tired, her costume was heavy, and so was her heart. The Auralie situation had been easy to deal with - easy in the way that she simply retreated, but tonight, she'd have to see Cullen with another woman while her date would probably sneak off with the first willing rich lady he could find. Sebastian was being very attentive and charming so far though, she had even consented to a little light to heavy petting in the back of the limo from Lydes until they had to switch to the carriage outside the gates of Halamshiral.

"Your life is weird, Trevelyan. Look what you're doing for the sake of charity. This is what you do. Maker, your tits look amazing in that dress, come over here again - "

"Sebastian, pull it together, we're here, you need to get out first and help me out!"

He grumbled about it but did what he was told, and it sort of felt like prom night all over again, except tonight a bank of photographers was waiting for them and the flashes from their cameras blinded her in an instant. She felt for Sebastian's hand and found it, and then put on her most gracious smile as he lead her toward the receiving line of luminaries and politicians. She just needed to get through the hand shaking and photo taking, and then she could get a bottle of champagne and find a quiet corner where she could consume it before the charity auction began. The night became a check list to get through, except there was one thing she didn't want to have to do but it was inevitable.

She'd have to see Cullen with his date.

Gwen looked cool and confident in a slim tuxedo, ignoring the fashion protocols for the night, while Cullen was in his dark navy blue Templars' formal uniform, with all his ribbons and awards pinned to his chest, gold braid twining at his broad shoulders. Their eyes locked on to each other's and Juliet squeezed Sebastian's arm in response.

"You know this guy staring at you?"  
"One of my employees, but we don't have to - "

It was too late, Gwen and Cullen were already on their way over and she didn't have enough time to get Sebastian to steer them in another direction. She had to watch in subdued horror as Sebastian introduced himself to Cullen, commenting on the strength of his handshake, and then Cullen turned to let Gwen greet Juliet.

"It's so good to see you again, Miss Trevelyan, your help at Griffon Wing Keep was instrumental in - "

Juliet tried to keep it together. She could smell Cullen's cologne. She wanted to push her way into his arms, but instead she focused on Gwen's hand still shaking hers.  
  
"Oh, I didn't help, I just -"  
"No, you did help, the money helped, your presence helped. And you look absolutely beautiful tonight."

She glanced at Cullen and saw his eyes traveling over her cleavage before he composed himself and pretended he hadn't been looking, but knowing he had been looking made her pulse quicken. She needed to get away from him, fast. She gave Sebastian's arm the slightest tug which he thankfully noticed right away.

"Nice to meet you both, I should get this lady a glass of champagne."

" _Bottle_."

"The lady wants a bottle of champagne and the lady shall get what she wants."

Sebastian made the entire moment even worse by raising Juliet's gloved hand to his lips and giving it a peck before turning away. They were headed for the bar area when a general murmur from the crowd around them made them stop. 

"Oh no, it's the tweeter. He certainly knows how to make an entrance."

Coming down the grand staircase into the Halamshiral ballroom was Gaspard, the queen's cousin - a troublemaker who was always speaking out against her, whose misogynistic, bombastic tweets and high-flying lifestyle made him a tabloid superstar. He was a petulant manboy, and the kind that could ruin an entire international event by hitting on the ambassador's wife in front of the press. Leliana, Josie and Juliet had argued vehemently for and against why he should be invited but in the end they decided to ignore his poorly-composed jokes because he had deep pockets, and liked to show off about how much money he could "throw away" in one night, whether it was on charity or an ostentatious dinner with a visiting dictator or two.

Juliet was remembering how she had called him "toxic masculinity crammed into an Armani suit" during their arguments when she noticed how Cullen was reacting to his slow procession down the grand staircase. He was blinking in disbelief at Gaspard's date for the night.

 _Auralie_.

Even with a gilded mask covering the upper half of her face, Juliet recognized her. Juliet had only laid eyes on her once, but there was no mistaking that elegant walk, that long neck, the supermodel cheekbones and plush lips. When the pair landed on the parquet dance floor, Gaspard spun her around so everyone could look at the haute couture ballgown Auralie was wearing and the two received applause for their showmanship.

A dark sort of mirth was bubbling up inside of Juliet.

Cullen was here with one woman, and two of her rivals. 

As though he were reading her thoughts, Cullen glanced at her with pure anguish in his eyes and it made Juliet decide to take herself out of the equation. She pulled on Sebastian's arm again.

"Bottle time. Let's find some champagne and a quiet nook where we can consume it without being interrupted."

Sebastian gave Gaspard and Auralie one last look of total disdain. "That bastard better not outbid me for the chance to go bowling with Alistair in the presidential mansion. That's the only thing I've got my eye on tonight."

"Is it?"

Sebastian heard her tone, raised an eyebrow at her flirtatious grin, and then lead her away with a devilish glint in his eyes. A few minutes later they were in an alcove away from the ballroom, with Sebastian doing a line off of the top of one of her firmly-corsetted breasts as she giggled and tried to stay still. He offered her some and although Juliet hadn't done such things since grad school, she let herself let go. She had plenty to forget about tonight.

Sebastian kissed her deeply, all cocaine and champagne.  

* * * * *

Much of the night went by in a blur, and Juliet was feeling numb in all the right places. Sebastian was off flirting with a bevy of girls near the open bar but it didn't matter, she was having an intensely good time with Dorian and Sera on one of the many balconies of Halamshiral, the two of them flanking her on a chaise lounge as the champagne kept flowing.

"You're in a mood tonight," Dorian noted as Juliet took a hit off of the joint Sera had just rolled.

"Josie did most of the work, and all I have to do is keep wearing this get up, smile at strangers, and remind them that most of the world is suffering and they should feel guilty and give us a lot of the money they didn't even earn."

Sera giggled and shushed her, Juliet had said that last part loud enough to get the attention of a pair of lazy Orlesian aristos who then swept away with their noses in the air. Sera carefully took the joint back from her. "So. What's going on with you and Cully Wully?"

Before she could answer, Dorian interrupted, his champagne glass hovering near his lips. "She's been fucking him."

" _DORIAN_!"

Dorian looked like he had known all along, but this seemed like new information to Sera, who gawked at Juliet's sheepish expression.

"Is he right? Why - didn't you say anything to us?"

Dorian's smug "I knew it look" faded away and turned into something more hurt. Juliet looked down at her hands in their satin gloves. "I don't know, it felt good to keep it a secret for a while. Then it - didn't. Then _she_ showed up. The woman with Gaspard - that's Cullen's ex, remember, she came bursting into the office that one day. That was the end of it."

"Was it? I recall you were recently away for a few days as you travelled to the other side of Orlais where he was stationed at -"  
"It's over. He's here with another woman, and the ex is here, and he's just walking around looking like he's swallowed ten pounds of rocks."

Dorian fixed the sleeve of her dress, pulling it up onto her shoulder. "Maybe he looks that way because you've been kissing Sebastian in dark corners and flirting up a storm with any man who speaks to you."

Juliet felt a wave of exhaustion hit her. She had been pretending to be a bubbly extrovert all night long and now it was occurring to her that acting was a hard job and everyone who did it for a living deserved a lot more credit. 

"I've been flirting because maybe at the auction all of these men will part with their money a little faster."

Dorian tried to wave over a waiter for more wine but he didn't see them. "Ah huh, keep telling yourself that. Juliet, I'll let you off the hook for keeping secrets from us, big ones too, but -"

Sera tried to land a double entendre about 'big ones' but Dorian kept charging through his thoughts, "- I'm worried about you. You've never been great at dealing with, well - your own feelings."

Juliet sat up straight now, offended. "Prove it."

"Why'd you leave the office for three whole weeks a few months ago?"

Juliet slumped back against the chaise lounge. "You know why, I basically just told you. She showed up out of nowhere. I left because of _her_ and now she's fucking here, on my big night, making the man of _my dreams_ feel sick, and I don't what happened, I don't know if he still loves her, because when we're together we don't talk much. When we were together, it was - "

Sera and Dorian leaned forward, waiting - only to be interrupted by a very flustered Josie, in her own voluminous gown.

"There you are! The auction should have started ten minutes ago!"

Before she could object, she was being pulled by the hand to her feet and guided away. She heard Dorian calling after her: 

"It was WHAT?"

Juliet turned around as much as she could as Josie steered her back into the ball room.

"It was perfect."

  
* * * * *

Josie and her staff had really put together a robust set of items and events to auction off for the Inquisition cause, from little things like spa treatments all the way to rare movie props and vintage cars. The last three items in the auction were the big ticket items, and Juliet was mortified to find out that a single waltz with her was deemed as desirable as afternoon tea with Queen Celene or bowling with Alistair in the private lanes beneath the president's mansion in Denerim. 

"Josie, you didn't -"  
"Yes, of course I didn't tell you, because you would have objected and dug in your heels, or worse yet, you would have disappeared off the face of the planet."

Leliana tucked a lock of Juliet's hair behind her ear, her ornate hairstyle was starting to come undone but she was starting to look a little more natural, less like a countess and more like a jezebel that countess would worry about.

"How long could a waltz last?"  
  
"You both KNOW I don't like attention."

Josie handed her a lipstick and a mirror with a stern look. "I made sure the quartet will play a simple four minute waltz and nobody will take any photos, but I draw the line at you wearing a bag over your head as you suggested earlier tonight."

Juliet tried one last thing. "But I'm drunk! And I don't remember if I can even waltz."

Varric, the emcee for the night, had already begun the bidding for her dance and Josie began pushing her over to his side. "You'll remember or make it up as you go along."

Juliet stood there next to Varric as he went on and on about her various qualities, half of which he was making up on the spot until she elbowed him and he stopped.

"Enough about her former career as a gymnast! Let's start the bidding at 100 sovereigns. Come on fellas, that's nothing, pocket change, and for a good cause too."

Juliet wanted to crawl under a table as men  _and women_ all over the ballroom began raising their paddles and shouting out their bids. Varric could barely keep up with the bids and he had to take a pause when it hit _5,000 sovereigns._

"Wow, that's, ten times more than I thought we were gonna get for this little lady! Shall we keep going?"

The bids started to slow down and then Gaspard's ego kicked in, being the sort of man who enjoys taking something away from someone for fun. He went back and forth with another Orlesian duke, a man old enough to be Juliet's grandfather who had practically panted on Juliet's breasts earlier that night. Juliet began to think she was going to lean forward and throw up on herself when someone made the entire ball room fall silent.

"Ten thousand sovereigns."

It was Cullen, standing up, holding up his paddle. The hush was replaced with applause but the world had become a blur to Juliet, she only saw him, more dashing than he had ever been, his hair tamed back, the rows of ribbons and medals across his chest that denoted the times he had been selfless and brave for another soldier or when he had made a decision that saved lives. But before Juliet could start wondering where he'd get this kind of money, Gaspard stood up, paddle in hand.

"Fifteen thousand sovereigns."

The look of devoted awe Cullen had been giving her was replaced quickly with one of total annoyance as everyone in the ballroom now turned to look at Gaspard, mugging for the cameras. Juliet also noticed Auralie was giving her date a very dirty look, which made Juliet smirk, she couldn't help herself. 

"Twenty thousand sovereigns! She's my old girlfriend, after all - "

Juliet had to stop herself from stamping her foot. Sebastian was bidding on this dance with her while he had an arm around a drunk Orlesian duchess, and didn't read her frustrated expression at all - instead he grinned and waved at her from where he was standing near the open bar. Juliet shifted her focus back to Gaspard, who wanted to raise his paddle again but Auralie had a hand on his sleeve and was bitching him out in front of everyone at their table, who were all clearly enjoying their discord.

Juliet was about to resign herself to dancing with a very drunk and stoned Sebastian in front of everyone in this ball room, including a lot of the wait staff who had stopped in their duties to enjoy the auction, when there was another ripple of excitement surging through the crowd. Celene had stood up from her seat of honor in the center of the dais that was reserved for her, Alistair, and other ambassadors. 

"Twenty five thousand sovereigns - but my bid is for the Templar, who clearly wanted the dance the most."

Varric raised his hand. "Going once, going twice - "

Auralie had yanked Gaspard into his chair and Sebastian was back to canoodling with his duchess. Only Cullen stood his ground, steadfast and earnest, in the center of the room.

"Sold, to former Knight-Captain Curly Rutherford. Enjoy that dance, buddy. You know it's not a slow dance, right? No groping."

Juliet slapped the microphone out of Varric's hand, making everyone laugh - and then the dance floor was cleared for a moment while the quartet readied itself for the waltz. Varric located the microphone, which had rolled under a rich lady's skirts, and then stood up.

"Make it a quick one, guys. We still have the two REAL prizes to raffle off."

Cullen had made it to her side by then, and he gave Varric a "shut the fuck up, buddy" look before composing himself in front of her. She took a step forward, putting one gloved hand on his shoulder.

"Do you know how to waltz?"

"I watched a video on the drive over here. I think I got the basics."

Juliet felt warm as he smiled at her and put a hand on her waist. With one step to the side, they were off, Juliet watching him as he counted "one, two, three" under his breath. 

"Josie promised no photos, but - "

Every turn around the ball room revealed people holding up phones and smiling at them in a dreamy way. 

"Don't worry about them. Just look at me."

How easy it was to lose herself in that simple command. She had never known anything like this, the total obliteration of her own thoughts. It was though just being with him took her somewhere else, far away from her usual anxieties, her usual awkwardness. He made her feel like a more stripped down version of herself. He spun her around the dance room as she remembered every thing from every moment they had been together, what it felt like to surrender her body to him, what it felt like to wake up next to him, hold his hand in the street, hide him away in her home and monopolize every second of that one weekend they spent together. 

"Juliet, I need to talk to you, but now is not the place."  
"I know, between your ex, and your date, and - "

His face changed for a moment. "Gwen is just a friend, I-I thought you knew that, I - is this why Sebastian is here?"

On the next spin around the parquet floor, Juliet noticed Sebastian had disappeared with his duchess. "Well, he's not here anymore. And he's not my date either."

"Really? Thought I saw you kissing him on that balcony over there."

Juliet must had pulled a perfect face of guilt because he only laughed in response. "It doesn't matter. None of it matters. But I really need to tell you something, it's about work."

"Can't it wait until Monday?"  
"It should wait until Monday, but... I feel as though I should tell you tonight."

There was something in his eyes that worried her, even in the way he was holding her hand. 

"Tell me, Cullen."

The waltz was about to come to an end. "Tell me, please."

"Juliet. I'm putting in my two week notice on Monday. Alistair has offered me a high-ranking post in the Department of Veteran Affairs. I can't turn down the opportunity. I'm sorry -"

She shook her head at him, tears leaping to her eyes right away that she kept at bay with a practiced photo-ready smile.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't be near you and not be  _with you_. It's torture, and the only time I ever felt any peace was when I was on the other side of the continent from you, buried in work. I - "

The end of the waltz brought their conversation to a halt and as they stopped spinning, everything wobbled around her. Juliet was aware everyone was still drinking in everything they were doing so she made sure to give him a beatific, phony smile before turning to walk off the dance floor. 

And then Juliet walked right past Leliana and Josie who were waiting for her and kept walking even as she heard Varric starting up the bidding for the last two prizes. She got all the way out to the front steps of Halamshiral and had to pause in confusion for a moment, remembering that she had gotten here in a horse-drawn carriage but there were cars and limos outside of the venue. She had no phone with her, she had sort of relied on her friends to take care of her tonight, but now... Once again she had to get away from work, and it was looking like that would not be possible.

"Jules, hey, wait, what's - where are you going?"

She turned around and saw Sebastian coming down the steps, looking a little disheveled but very concerned.

"Oh, I thought you left with that woman."  
  
"Ha, well, I didn't realize _that woman_ was with her husband. She herself seemed to have forgotten that important fact."

He walked down the last few steps and immediately cupped her face in his hand.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Sebastian's gentleness unlocked everything. She began to cry in earnest and then grabbed onto the lapel of his jacket, just as Leliana appeared at the top of the stairs behind him.

"Please get me out of here. Now."

He grabbed her hand and started marching them away while making a call on his cell phone. Juliet took a backward glance and Leliana and was glad to see she wasn't going to chase them. She was just standing there, watching them escape.

"Are we going to walk back to Lydes?"  
"No, but by the time we get to the gates, maybe our ride will be here."

They walked in silence for a while until Sebastian's curiosity caught up with him.

"Does this have something to do with that guy? The guy in the uniform?"

Juliet said nothing.

"Did you ask me to be your date because of him?"

Juliet stopped to pull off her uncomfortable period piece high heels and throw them in the ditch next to the road, still not answering his questions.

"Are you in love with him?"

At this, she swung around to face him, feeling angry.

"No, I'm not. I'm not."

Sebastian put his hands up in surrender. "OK, sorry I asked. I am. We don't have to talk about it."

"Yeah, thanks for reading my cues as always."

Juliet kept marching toward the big gates at the end of the driveway, pulling pins out of her hair and loosening her stays as she went along, until Sebastian grabbed her hand and stopped her.

"He's a fool. For Maker's fucking sake, I'm a fool. We don't deserve you, Juliet."

She jabbed him in the shoulder with a finger in response. "That's bullshit. I deserve love, I deserve it back. Don't put me on a pedestal, I'm human."

Sebastian studied her for a moment, and then began laughing. Juliet gave him a shove but he kept guffawing.

"You just look amazing right now, you have no idea. You look like an angry, drunk girl on Halloween."

"Shut up. I wish I was drunk. I'm not drunk enough."

A Ferrari zoomed past them on the road, giving them a friendly honk, and as soon as it was gone, Sebastian's face changed.

"When we get back to Lydes, let's get on my plane and get the fuck out of here. Back to Ostwick. Hop on my yacht. Just - sail away for a while. Please consider it, just you and me for a while. For as long or as short as you want. We could sail to Antiva. We could stay in the harbor. Whatever you want."

Juliet came to a halt. More cars were beginning to leave the ball and Juliet turned away from the road so those passing them couldn't see it was her standing out here, barefoot and very rumpled looking. After the road grew quiet again, she faced Sebastian again.

"What is making you say this stuff to me all of a sudden? Last time we pretty much broke it off, now you're asking me - "

"I just want to take care of you. Give me a chance."

Juliet fast-forwarded through the upcoming work week. She knew most of it would be about the fallout from Cullen's impending departure. Their entire program that aided ex-Templars was in jeopardy now without its captain at the helm. Thinking about replacing him made her heart hurt.

Drinking Sebastian's martinis on his yacht under the night sky as Antiva City sparkled in the distance sounded - just grand.

"Let's go."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there, my Cullenites. We will see the promised land, AND I will even reference one of our favorite Cullen cutscenes from DA:I.


	8. The Goodbye Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ENJOY THE FEELS AND THE SMUT AND THEN THE SUPER-FEELS. I treasure all of you, dear readers.

For days everything was open water and sunshine, crisp sea air running across her bare skin as Juliet sprawled on a towel laid out on the deck of Sebastian's yacht, one hand on a paperback she had just put down. They had raised more than twenty million dollars at the charity ball, a record for the Inquisition. Apparently a lot of very rich people wanted to go bowling with Alistair, and the bidding had soared out of control after Juliet had fled the event. Josie and Varric made sure nobody noticed her absence, but she knew it had to be felt. Good thing she had already been painted as "an intensely private person" by the media. Good thing she had an escape pod. She didn't know what to make of it, this sudden urge Sebastian was feeling to be good, to be supportive. She honestly hadn't known him all that long, except those years at Ostwick Prep. Adulthood separated them, then when they had found each other again, he had proven to be a cad. But now Sebastian was seemingly on a campaign to fix what he had done, rewrite his bad PR, but over dinner last night she had made him squirm about the sheer volume of young ladies that staggered through his Instagram photos, teetering on impossibly high heels, each one of them a carbon copy of each other, beautiful, rich, vacant and perfect.

She didn't know what he wanted. She didn't know what _she_ wanted, except to not go back to the office for as long as she could manage. This time around, Juliet had taken her cell phone and her laptop, but was being judicious about her time and what she decided to responded to. And she was ignoring all the resumes they were sending her about Cullen's potential replacement.

Didn't they know there was no replacing him?

Juliet wondered if Sebastian knew as she slept at his side below deck she was thinking of another man, miles and miles away, who was packing up his office and looking for a new condo in Denerim. Could he know she was beyond heartbroken? He seemed oblivious to her internal chaos.

"Babe, do you want more wine? I can open another bottle. Or do you want to wait until we get to Antiva City? We should be there in less than an hour, just in time for dinner."

"Always more wine, please."

Sebastian also seemed unaware of the fact that she had been consistently buzzed since they got on the plane in Lydes - or he didn't care. How long could she keep this up? Days, a week or two - that seemed doable. Months, years... How long was it going to take for her to forget Cullen, how much of Sebastian's cellar would it take for her to move on...

From the deck, she heard Sebastian's cell phone ring and he scrambled to grab it. It made her laugh to herself, how he got at least two or three calls every day and he was quick to tell the woman on the line he was busy, and don't call him for a while. He was going to have so much apologizing to do later when he missed some of these long legged supermodels. Juliet knew she was being infinitely selfish just lying here on Sebastian's towel, ignoring her very important job and forcing Sebastian to focus on her instead of his harem of love interests. But being selfish was the only power she had right now, it was the only way to feel some kind of control. 

She rolled over on her towel to call out to Sebastian, who was guiding the ship toward the Antiva City harbor. "By the way, I don't care what we eat, just as long as the restaurant has a view."

"I know just the place."

They arrived in Antiva City during sunset, and the second Juliet put her foot down in the city, Sebastian treated her like his queen. It was unnerving at first but she relaxed into it, especially when some of her fears did not come to pass. She expected waiters and valets to recognize him, to say something about how he was always here, each time with a different woman, but nobody said a thing. She kept looking for cracks in his facade but either he was hiding them well or - he was sincerely wooing her. 

That can't be it.

Could it?

The rest of the week unfurled slowly, as the two slinked around the city with no agenda, returning to the grand royale suite of the Palazzo Antiva every night. Finally, on Saturday, while waiting for dessert at dinner time, Sebastian slipped and revealed himself just a little.

"I've never spent seven straight days with a woman who didn't want to tell me anything."

He was studying her, instead of what he usually did - speak in a monologue about himself. Juliet stared back at him, not cowed.

"It was probably vanity on my behalf but, I was disappointed when you didn't call me once after we broke it off. Not even a text. "

So maybe that was it. She looked up at one of the gilded mirrors behind him and saw herself for a moment. She had been that unacquirable woman to him, she did not flatter him or make hints about the future. She had just been steadily consuming all his collectible cabernet sauvignon and sulking. The question remained if he truly cared for her or he just wanted to assure himself that no woman was immune to his charms and his money. 

Juliet decided to just come right out and ask him - after he ordered a second bottle of wine.

"Sebastian. I have to ask you something."  
"Ha, uh, that's never a good sign."

He swirled the wine in his glass and downed it.  
  
"It's never a good sign when someone wants to ask you a question?"  
"It's never a good sign when a woman wants to ask me a question. But, you are no mere woman, you are -"

"Save it! I know you always plagiarize your compliments, and I actually  _need_ to ask you this question. Why... Why are we here together, after we broke it off?"

The sommelier arrived with their second bottle and showed it to him before he opened it. Sebastian gave him a slight look of annoyance at his timing but did not shoo him away, sensing he'd need more wine for this conversation. 

"I told you outside the charity thing, I wanted to take care of you - and you needed it."  
"When's the last time you took care of anyone?"

After sampling the wine and giving the somm a nod to pour more for both of them, he put his glass down.

"Trev, what are you getting at? Just come out with it."

"Are you in love with me?"

He clenched his jaw and made sincere eye contact with her.

"I think - I..."

She let him collect his thoughts. He might not be totally trustworthy but he deserved a second to get his defense together.

"I think we'd be good together. When I'm with you, I feel like you elevate me somehow. I have to watch what I say, I have to express myself better. And sometimes I'm tired of everything I've got, and I'd like something else, something more solid. Someone like you."

She took a big sip and put her glass down.

"Are you - in love with me?"

"I could be. I just don't want to live in Haven. Or even Denerim. I love the Free Marches. If you'd only..."

Juliet sensed they were finally at the crossroads. She stared him down until he continued.

"If you'd only just - not work so much. Move back home, work remotely. Or - just serve on the board of the Inquisition. It's not a step down, you'd still have plenty of say in how - "

Ah ha. 

"Are you resentful of my accomplishments?"

Sebastian opened his eyes wide in surprise. "No, that's not it at all. It's just - I want only you. Is that weird? To get on a plane with you and not have you anchored to something else. To spend a week with you somewhere and know you were present, and not thinking about that office waiting for you."

The two of them didn't talk while Juliet picked at the dessert in front of her. Instead, they guzzled down the expensive bottle in front of them, each of them holding on to their wine glasses like life savers.

Asking these big questions popped the bubble of their vacation and the next morning Juliet had the feeling Sebastian was finally feeling antsy, wanting to get back to the rhythm of his regular life. She brought him a mimosa as he navigated his yacht out of the Antiva harbor.

"I think when we get back to Ostwick, I'm going to fly back to Haven. I really needed this week off after the ball, but. You know. I've got to get back."

Sebastian clinked his glass against hers and gave her a defeated half smile. "Hey, you can't blame a guy for trying. A second time. Trevelyan, don't you realize you're worth fighting for?"

It was a line that haunted her on the plane ride back to Haven. Cullen wasn't fighting for her. He was moving away.  


* * * * *  


Juliet returned to her work on Monday, clad in black from head to toe in an attempt to look formidable and not like how she really felt. She swept into the main room of the Inquisition and instead of being able to go straight into her office to hide behind her desk, her employees broke into a standing ovation, possibly orchestrated by Josie who came out of the crowd with a cup of coffee for her in hand.

"Welcome back!"  
"Josie, why - "

She leaned closer and whispered in her ear with her smile still plastered on her face. "It was honestly less awkward than you walking in here to disappointed silence."

Leliana arrived at her side next and didn't whisper her comments. "We wanted to celebrate the big 20 million landfall  _with you_ but you had to go and disappear again."

Juliet looked at her employees who were all looking back at her with a mixture of tension and obedience. They clearly wanted her to feel better but they also wanted to get back to work. Juliet shooed them off as jovially as she could. "Go on, back to work, yes thank you, I missed you all too."

The Inquisition workers headed back to their desks, leaving Josie and Leliana still standing with her. She spoke before they could.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Leliana guided the two of them into Juliet's office and closed the door.

"You never used to go on vacation and now in the last three months you've abandoned your post twice. It's so out of character that for a second I thought you had a drug problem - "

Juliet put her bag down and looked at Leliana. And then they all burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you had a drug problem. But, clearly... Your feelings about the third person on your executive team are..."

Leliana looked at Josie for help, and she chimed in with only the tiniest note of desperation in her voice. "They were stronger than we realized. But Leliana and I will be here for you as we look for his replacement. We just need you to keep it together for the rest of the week. On Friday, we'll have a little goodbye party for him here at the office and then - "

In a flash, Juliet remembered the faces of the refugees at the Griffon Wing Keep. They soldiered on, despite their circumstances. So many of them hoped they could return to their homeland one day. What she was going through at the moment was nothing compared to their circumstances, so if they could summon a little hope, she could do so as well. 

"I'll get through this. We'll all get through this. If your calendars are clear, maybe we could sit down right away and look at those resumes you sent me?"

Both women seemed relieved Juliet was focusing on work, as though her feelings startled them too. They agreed to return to her office in a bit,  they wanted to grab their phones and laptops. Juliet watched them leave and then instinctually looked up at Cullen's office. 

He had been standing in the doorway of his office, holding his coffee cup. He looked tired, but perfectly pressed and tidy as always, skinny black tie, in those tight pants that Dorian loved to swoon over. 

Then she heard it - a voice inside her, louder than all the others telling her to focus on work, to text Sebastian later, to ignore her feelings entirely and just deal with them later. 

_Go to him. Just walk right up to him, grab him by his tie and kiss him._

Juliet sighed and took a step forward but then saw Leliana and Josie heading back toward her office. She looked up at Cullen again and he raised his coffee cup in a small toast to her. Juliet could only nod back at him as she welcomed her friends back into her office.  
  


* * * * *  
  


The week crawled by and every day that passed was like the ominous tolling of a bell. Juliet watched Cullen packing up his office from the safety of hers, hoping he couldn't see how distressed she was when he took down the framed photo she had given him of their trip to the Hinterlands, the one in which they were flanked by all his reports who were pulling faces, but he had chosen to turn and give her a telling kiss on the side of her forehead. She watched him wrap it carefully in bubble wrap and put it away and it was like watching him putting her own heart in that box. 

Every night of this week she went to the nearby pub with Sera and Dorian, trying to force her life to return to the rituals she once cherished before she fell in love with Cullen, but she was getting to the point where she could drink a whole bottle of wine on her own and feel nothing - or at least feel nothing until she got home and sat on the kitchen floor, her back to the oven, as she sobbed out everything she was unable to express to anyone else.

Friday morning came and Juliet woke up very hungover, and made the mistake of walking straight to the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. She would definitely be late to the office this morning, on purpose. She needed a long, apologetic shower, three bottles of water, and a greasy breakfast just to feel human again. She trudged to her laptop to email Josie and Leliana about another lapse in her professionalism and told them after next Monday it wouldn't happen again. After next Monday he'd be gone, and she'd force herself to stop acting like a petulant child. She didn't tell them that last part, the admission of her behavior was too much to deal with this early in the morning, but eggs would make everything better.

She drove to the diner around the corner and pulled into the spot right out front, a spot she had never parked in before. She didn't often get to go to this little neighborhood restaurant, she was usually much too busy and many times she would pass by and there wouldn't be any room at the U-shaped counter too. Today she walked right in and sat at the end on the left, her favorite seat because it was near the rotating pie display. Before she could even lean back and settle in, her waitress appeared, coffee pot and menu in hand.

"Well, hey there. Long time no see. Coffee today, darlin'?"

Juliet scanned the waitress. She had never seen her before in her life, and didn't know if her friendliness was a put on. She was punky, wearing dramatic black eyeliner and dark lipstick that made her cutesy light blue and white diner uniform look even more like an anachronism. Juliet's eyes darted to her nametag. Morrigan. Quite a name for a diner waitress. 

"Lots of coffee, and a big glass of ice water please."

Morrigan filled her coffee cup and the paused for a moment. "You look like a woman who knows what she wants."

This innocuous statement, seemingly about breakfast, made Juliet stop studying the menu and look up at the woman with smoky, compelling eyes. "I do."

"And what would that be?"

_Him. I want him more than anything else right now, more than anyone else._

"The three egg omelette, bacon, cheddar, avocado. Sourdough toast."

Morrigan the waitress looked at her with a touch of sympathy in her eyes while she gave her a little nod.

"Sounds good to me. You sure that's it?"

_He's leaving because of me. Because of us. He's going to leave me today._

"Lemme see how I feel after all of that, because that cherry pie is calling to me over there."

Juliet didn't know what it was, but her breakfast felt imbued with something wholesome, or maybe she just desperately needed the caloric intake after another night of over-indulgence with Sera and Dorian. She ate every bite of the omelette and all four triangular slices of pre-buttered sourdough toast, drank down three cups of coffee, and then smiled when Morrigan brought her the slice of cherry pie and the bill. 

Juliet took a bite of the pie with a satisfied hum and then with a finger, pulled the bill closer to her. Morrigan the waitress had written across the top of the slip of paper in elegant script, with a blue ballpoint pen: 

_"Everything you need, you have."_

In her vision, the words seemed to catch on fire for a moment, and when she looked up to make eye contact with Morrigan, to thank her, to say something to her, she had disappeared. The cook behind his counter paused in his work. "Ah, don't worry about her, smoke break probably. Something wrong with the bill?"

"No, not at all. I better get going."

Juliet overtipped her but took the bill and tucked it into her pocket. She had to get to work, there was no putting off this last day with Cullen, and she would not retreat again, because she didn't have to.  


* * * * *  
  
Juliet wanted to murder Josie and Leliana, they had booked her solid all day long with phone calls and meetings, and she had to watch helplessly as a steady stream of employees came to chat with Cullen throughout the day. When she got off her last phone call, Inquisition staffers were setting up the main office for the goodbye party. She emerged from her office just in time to watch Sera and Cole standing up on two chairs while hanging a huge sparkly banner that read "GOODBYE CURLY". Sera looked at her over her shoulder and saw the look on her face.

"I know. We'll get some wine in you and then you'll be fine. How does it look?"

Juliet took a step back, almost bumping into Varric who almost dropped the Inquisition's infamous party punch bowl. 

"It's lower on the left than on the right," Juliet responded while taking the punch bowl out of Varric's hands. 

"Hey, I'm in charge of that tonight. We never do it up right. And I bet you didn't know Cullen liked mai tais."

Juliet tried to let this fact pass by her without clutching to it like a hopeless teenager in the grips of an unrequited crush - which is unfortunately how she had felt during this entire affair.

"I did not know Cullen liked mai tais. There are a lot of things I guess I don't know about him, and never will."

Her tone must have been dire, because Cole now looked down at her, dropping his end of the banner. 

"OK, don't worry about me, or us, or whatever. Give me something to do, keep me busy, come on."

Josie swept in with a few tablecloths. 

"Go buzz in the caterers, I think they're here."

Someone in a corner of the office changed the lighting, which made the few scattered employees still seated at their desks break into hoots of approval. Party mode was upon them. Juliet tried to fix her heart to match everyone else's. She would be happy for him. She could be happy for him. Look at him near the printer, letting a few of the mage girls get in their last minute flirtations. On Monday everything would be neutral.

Varric was stirring together the first batch of cocktails in the bowl just as someone else threw on some music. He offered her the first taste, and then before Juliet could react, Cullen was at her side, holding out his cup.

She turned to him, glancing her red plastic party cup against his.

"Congratulations."  
"Thank you. Maybe before the night is through, we could talk, just a little? We haven't had much one on one time since - "

He paused and she wondered if he was thinking what she was thinking. No, they hadn't had any one on one time since Griffon Wing Keep. She was about to respond when the rest of the company flooded into the room just as the caterers had laid out platters of party food and Cullen was quickly pulled into a group of his reports, all ex-Templars, and one of them had come bearing an industrial-sized bottle of tequila. 

"Shots! Come on buddy, you're doing them tonight, no excuses. Come on - "

Cullen grabbed her hand and she finally saw the helpless look in his eyes, that all of this was happening too fast. "Do one with me, will you please?"

She let him keep holding her hand as he followed the ex-soldiers over to a table where they had the shot glasses lined up. A few boisterous cheers later and two shots down, she let her fingers slip out of his as she crossed the room to where Dorian and Iron Bull had taken up a corner. Dorian pulled her onto his lap, making a small sound of objection when she sipped out of his red plastic cup, half full of wine.

"You always told me to stop you from mixing alcohol, that you get too drunk."  
"It's too late, and I can tell, someone is going to make me give a speech in an hour."

Iron Bull leaned over to take the cup out of her hands and put it back in Dorian's.

"They always put you up on a chair too, so take it easy on the sauce until then. Don't want to see you topple over and crack your head open, boss."  


* * * * *

Juliet was right, right before the party hit its tipping point into drunken oblivion, Leliana lead her by the elbow over to a chain in the middle of the office and made her step onto it. She didn't tell her anything - in fact, Juliet had had the feeling Leliana had been pretty disappointed in her all week, even though she had been nothing but fastidious since her return. 

Someone helpfully handed her a cup and the music was turned down. Juliet's eyes landed on Cullen, standing with Josie and Leliana just a few feet away. Josie smiled at her in support while Cullen looked looked away. Juliet scanned the crowd. Cullen's employees all looked beyond disappointed. Would they want to keep working here without him? What was the company going to lose, what was the world going to lose without these good men and women being passionate about their work? For fuck's sake, what was she going to lose?

"Ah, I don't want to give a speech. You guys know I don't like it. I really don't want to tonight. We're losing one of the pillars of this company and while I know he's going to do good work for Alistair's administration, there's a part of me that - "

She made brief eye contact with Iron Bull, who gave her a "say it" look she could feel down to her toes. "There's a part of me that doesn't give a fuck."

Juliet could feel the little ping of shock in the room, but she kept going. Everything she needed, she already had.

"Cullen belongs here, at the Inquisition. He belongs here, helping other ex-Templars find work, helping refugees and homeless kids. He belongs here, running the lyrium rehab project. He belongs here, defending people who cannot defend themselves."

Juliet realized she was tearing up, and she wasn't the only one, but she kept going, there was no going back now.

"He belongs here, to bicker with Josie and Leliana and drive them up the wall." She let the cathartic laugh interrupt her for a moment and then plowed ahead. "He belongs here, helping us prioritize the thousands of projects we have, helping us find new investment points, helping us find perspective and balance. He belongs here, not in Denerim, where he will be buried in pointless bureaucracy, where he'll have to fight to have a voice."

Juliet took a big sip of whatever was in her cup. She didn't even taste it at the moment. It could have been blood, her own tears, water, wine, it didn't matter. What mattered was what she was about to say.

"He belongs here because I love him."

The room grew absolutely still. She didn't see anyone else either. Her eyes were glued to his.

"You heard me. I was in denial for so long because the way I feel about you frankly scared me. But, here I am, poised on the cups of losing you, and I'm not scared anymore. I'm in love with you, Cullen. I've been in love with you for a long, long time. I'm saying it front of everyone because I mean it."

She looked up at him. He was standing utterly still. 

"Please don't go, Cullen. Don't go. We need you. I need you. And I love you. Please don't go, I - "

She didn't get to finish, she felt Cullen's arm around her waist, pulling her down off the chair and into his arms and they were kissing, kissing in front of the entire office, kissing her until she could barely breathe, and then he pulled away, tears in his eyes now too. 

"I'm not going anywhere."

He kissed her again as the entire Inquisition office broke into uproarious cheers. Juliet heard something tear, and it was Iron Bull reaching up with one big hand to pull down the goodbye banner.

Someone turned the music back on and she heard people saying things about lining up for shots, everyone had to do one now, but she focused on him looking down at her tenderly in the middle of the crowd.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I took this long. I've been so fucking stupid."  
"Don't apologize, I've been stupid too."  
"Let's not be stupid ever again."

He laughed, wiping a tear off her cheek and brushing her hair back with gentle fingers.

"Let's make that the first promise of our relationship. That's what this is, right? I'm your boyfriend now, right?"

His tone was so - high school - that it made her smile from ear to ear. "Yes, you're my boyfriend. But, we still have to be professional. On Monday."

Cullen smiled and she felt faint. He was her man now. "On Monday. But not tonight."

Cullen leaned down to kiss her again, and Juliet heard Sera calling from the other side of the party, "GET A ROOM!"  


* * * * *

The party raged on longer than even their Satinalia bacchanalias. People danced, they ate all the food, and the punch bowl ran dry but around 2:30, Juliet cornered Cullen and whispered something in his ear.

"Let's stay behind and tidy up a little so the cleaning staff doesn't come in tomorrow morning and freak out."

He wrapped an arm around her waist and gave her a pout. "Fine. You're always so thoughtful, it drives me nuts."

"Does it?"

It was exhilarating to be with him in front of everyone, to stop hiding, and all night long he couldn't keep his hands off of her. If she passed by him to bring a drink to someone else, he grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her in for a kiss. 

Juliet had plans for him.

She just had to get all these fools out of the office, and of course Sera was the last one to leave, that elfy troublemaker clearly had sensed Juliet was up to something. 

"Will you please just go, I'll - what can I offer you to leave?"  
"Nothing, you can't buy me. And what are you two up to anyway, are you going to - "  
"I"ll fire you if you don't leave."

Sera was literally wedged between the big glass doors outside of reception, one foot inside the office and one in the hallway. 

"You can't! You can't just fire me because - "  
"Sera, please."

She pushed her friend but she wouldn't budge. Cullen called to her from deeper in the office, "Hello, are you going to come help me or what?"

"I'll buy you dinner next week. Wherever you want."  
"Nope. You always buy me dinner so it's not a big deal."

Juliet gave up, taking a step back. "Fine. Stay. Get a broom out of the supply closet and come sweep up."

Sera also took a step back as she readjusted her jacket that slipped off her shoulder during their tussle. "You're no fun, I just - "

Juliet saw her opening and gave her a shove, locking the door with a swift click. Sera flipped her off in childish frustration and Juliet returned the gesture. "See you Monday!"

Finally, they were alone.

Juliet came back into the office to find Cullen stacking up red party cups into neat columns. 

"There's actually not that much to clean up, just cups and plates. Everything else got devoured."

She stepped up to him and laced her fingers between his. "I wasn't the only one who didn't want you to leave, and people were in high spirits when you told everyone you weren't going to."

Juliet began leading him out of the main office toward the corner of the building where their executive suites were located.

"Hey, where are we going? Don't you want to get out of here?"

She pulled him into his office, which was packed up and bare, but the boxes were still in the corner.

"I'm going to feel a little foolish having to unpack all of this on Monday."

 

Juliet guided him across the room and then sat the edge of his desk, facing him.

"Worry about it on Tuesday then. Let's take Monday off. I want to spend a few quality days with you anyhow. And it will give everyone something to talk about."

Cullen rubbed his neck, giving her a sheepish, adorable grin. " _That_ will take some getting used to. Everyone's going to be watching us for a while, until they get tired of it."

She pulled on his tie, drawing him in for a kiss that went from light to heavy in a nanosecond. She felt his hands grab her ass and pull her in closer so he was now fully standing between her knees. 

Juliet broke the kiss for a second.

"Leliana told me you sold your condo pretty quickly."  
"I-I did. Faster than I thought I would. Guess that makes me homeless."

She started undoing the knot of his tie.

"Move in with me Cullen."  
"What? Really?"  
"Yes. Tonight. Come home with me tonight. Do you accept my offer?"

His eyes darted all over her face and then he landed a bruising kiss on her lips as his hands began also untucking her blouse. Very quickly, their office attire was loosened, and they began to move faster. He didn't even unbutton his shirt, he pulled it off over his head and then began unbuttoning her blouse while muttering at her that he wanted _to see her, take this shit off, take it all off -_ then suddenly she was naked, still perched on his desk. He unbuckled his pants, slid his boxers down and then kicked everything away. He was hard and ready as he looked at her, leaning back on her hands.

Cullen sat down in his chair as she spread her thighs wide for him and then parted her pussy for him before he could ask. With a wicked grin, he rolled his chair closer and then dipped his head between her legs. With a loud groan, she threaded her fingers into his golden curls as he flicked at her already swollen bud. They had started all of this in the office and it was only fitting they keep the fires burning under this roof. Juliet smiled indulgently as he drew little loops around her clit. Where else was she going to fuck him in this office? Her desk would be next of course. There was that big table in the conference room too. How about against the counter in the break room? His tongue sped up, making her refocus on his efforts. 

"Mmmm, you are so good at that. I'll be sure to put it on your annual performance review."

He leaned back in his chair for a moment, working his cock in his hand as he looked at her, backlit with the lights from the main room behind her.

"Oh yeah, what are you going to write, you little slut?"

She touched herself for him, making him hiss as he watched.

"I don't know, maybe something like, 'Cullen Stanton Rutherford eats my pussy like a starving man. His dedication to my cunt goes beyond the call of duty and - I think it sets a good example for the rest of the company.'"

They both laughed but Cullen stopped when she slid two fingers into herself, his eyes darkening with lust at her wanton display. "As your CEO, you are also entitled to give me feedback, you know. Is there anything I need to work on?"

He stood up and swept his hands over her breasts, cupping them and pushing them together as he sucked one nipple into his mouth, and then the other. "'I find I often have to tell Miss Trevelyan she needs to - be more demonstrative about, um..."

They giggled again, Cullen wasn't improvising as well as she was. "'She needs to get down off that desk and suck my cock a little, before I fuck her brains out.'"

She slid off the desk, feeling how wet she was between her thighs, before she dropped to her knees and sucked him deep into her mouth. She felt him push down on the back of her head, forcing her to take as much of him as she could before she gagged and drooled on him.

"'Miss Trevelyan should lick my balls too. She has the softest, sweetest tongue.'"

She loved it, she loved every minute of this, the taste of his skin, the masculine scent of him filling her nose as she laved and licked his sack and drank in the helpless sounds he was making above her. There was no way she'd be able to walk past his office and not remember every moment of this, naked in his office, between his legs, pleasing him. Cullen reached down and pulled her to her feet by an elbow so he could slide his tongue into her mouth. 

"Fuck, I need to have you, right now."  
"Check my the pocket of my skirt."

She watched him rifle through the clothes on the floor until he found her skirt and extricated the condom she had slipped in there earlier in the night, after she had won his heart and cooked up this delicious plan sometime after her 8th shot of tequila. 

"'Miss Trevelyan is always prepared for her meetings. She astounds me with her attention to detail.'"

Juliet sat perched on the edge of the desk again as she watched him slip it on, but then he spun her around and then pressed her flat against the desk, being rough and dominant with her. He pulled one knee up so it was resting on the desk and her pussy was bared to him from behind. Juliet tried to look over her shoulder at him but he kept one hand pressed against her head and his tone changed.

"Stay like that, my little slut, don't move or you'll be punished."

She whined his name at him and tried to wiggle a little, just to challenge him and he slapped her hard on the ass, making her cry out.

"See, don't try me. I'll make you pay. I'll take you home and tie you to your headboard and keep you there all weekend."

She smiled and then groaned as he rubbed three rough fingers over her wet cunt.

"Is that a threat?"  
"Shut up. You're not the boss anymore. I am."

He pushed into her, slow and steady, keeping her pinned to the desk so she couldn't move. 

"Cullen, please..."  
"Please what?"  
"Fuck me, fuck me - I need it."

Cullen wasn't gentle, he was taking everything that had been pent up between them and was serving it to back to her, hard and rough. It made her yowl with delight and pant like an animal, she could barely concentrate on what he was mumbling to himself, about how tight she was, how she was made for this and nothing else, how she was dripping onto his desk and now he'd smell her there, every time he came to work, the other men would smell her too, the smell of her in heat  - 

"You know what you need?"  
"Tell me - " She gasped back at him.

He didn't respond, he was fingering her cunt a bit, getting her wetness on his fingers. He pushed himself deep into her and then began playing with her asshole, working just the tip of a finger into her.

"Cullen..."  
"Yeah, you know what. Schedule a 1:1 with me next week. I'm going to fuck you in the ass on this desk, whenever you can free some time up on your busy calendar. Is that going to be okay with you? You're not too busy are you?"

She gasped as he pushed his finger in deeper and then kept pumping his hips into her.

"I'm going to come, make me come."

 

He pulled his finger out and stopped pinning her to the desk. Now he had a handful of her hair and was yanking hard, making her arch her back and pop back up onto her hands. She felt her legs twitching as he plunged into her over and over again, into the core of her, making her shriek and let go as her orgasm sizzled through her body like a drug. She gushed all over him and went limp with one long, euphoric groan as she felt him grow even harder inside of her, and then he was following her over the edge, pushing himself in as he released himself deep inside her, falling across her body to kiss a trail across one of her shoulder blades.

"You've ruined me. I'll never feel this way about any other woman on this planet ever again."

He slid out of her slowly, making her whimper, and then she turned around to welcome his kisses.

"Have we 'cleaned up the office' enough for your taste? You're so obvious, you know? When you came up to me to suggest we stay behind, Krem gave me a look that let me know he KNEW what we were going to do."

"Let's go home."

Cullen cupped Juliet's face in both his hands and she never felt so treasured, in all her life.  
  
"Yes, let's go home."

* * * * *

They got dressed and walked out of the office holding hands for the first time. He got into her car and she drove them to her place and watched with a happy heart as Cullen instantly became part of her life, putting his satchel next to the end table in the hallway where she had just laid her keys and her purse. He took off his shoes just like she did and hung up his jacket on her coat rack, right next to hers. He stopped to say hello to her cat, who didn't get up and run out as expected, although she watched him with wariness as they passed by.

Juliet followed Cullen into the kitchen where walked right up to her fridge and took a look inside, giving her a disappointed shake of his head when he found nothing inside, just a bottle of vodka resting on its side and a few cans of sparkling water. Juliet laughed when he closed the door and wrote one word on the little magnetic white board she had attached to the fridge: "Food."

She walked up to him and pulled him down for a kiss; he had been hers for only a handful of hours and she couldn't count how many times they'd kissed each other since that her speech, but each time their lips met, she felt so centered, so present. Cullen reached down to lift her up by her knees and carry her down the hallway to her bedroom, never breaking the kiss until he put her down on the bed.

They got undressed and slipped into bed together. Cullen spooned her, pulling her into his arms, gaving her a few kisses on her earlobe.

"This has been the greatest day of my life. So far. I hope there are even greater days ahead of us."  
"Us. I love the way that sounds."

She lifted one of his hands and kissed each one of his knuckles.

"I was so foolish, we could have had this all along."  
  
"Don't look at it that way. We _did_ have this all along, it just took us some time to get to right here."

She felt so protected, wrapped in his embrace, her heart at peace. Now that she had him, she'd never let him go. 

Juliet smiled to herself as she listened the sound of him falling asleep next to her as she brushed her fingertips over the perfect dip of his bicep. Maker take her, she was ready to put her foot on the gas pedal and press as hard as she could. Hey, here's a funny idea: what if she proposed to him at breakfast the next morning - maybe over a slice of cherry pie?

The idea made her feel giddy. 

_Are you out of your mind, Juliet?_

She wanted to do everything she had been holding back, feel everything, and never doubt her own desires ever again. 

  
* * * * *

Leliana rolled over in bed the next morning, stretched, and reached over one of the girls from accounting she had taken home after the party last night to grab her phone off the nightstand.

She only had one text, from Juliet, and it said,

"he said yes"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, some of you might know me from one of my longer telenovelas-style Cullen fics, Neighbors with Benefits. 
> 
> I'm going to be returning to that work after my vacation, so please stay tuned!

**Author's Note:**

> Please follow me at thetemplarandtherogue.tumblr.com. 
> 
> I reblog art, fics, and images [fashion, mythology, weaponry, history, etc.!] that spur on my writing and maybe they will help you too!


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